I am in televisual heave atm. Ray Mears AND Ewan McGregor in the Jungle

[Carmenere]

BBC2 Now

The televisual heaving won't begin until Ray starts making wombats and giant moths into a tasty fricassee.

Oh yum! What's that hat all about though Ewan? He looks like Benny Hill!

Oh no, I think Ewan might heave, he's drinking ponky river water.

do you fancy a bit of RM then?
we call him billy bunter in this house, I reckon he fakes it all for the cameras then goes back home to mummys and gobbles up the homemade apple pies she has just got out the oven

RM is DH's hero! We call him RM actually. Give him a twig and he can start a fire!

Oh that was supposed to be Heaven Yes I love ray although he has been usurped by St Bruce Parry recently in my affections.

Yes Ray looks a tad over fed for an explorer but we forgive him as he lost his wife last year

god no, RM is the real deal, I'm sure (don't shatter my illusion!)

That's funny, RM is my DP's hero too, do you think a lot of men cherish these sort of wilderness fantasies? I didn't know RM had lost his wife, that's very sad.

thats sad about his wife
i was only joking, he is fab at what he does, dh loves him too!
we just think its funny that he is there eating these delicious twigs and leaves but looking like he must have a cornish pasty tucked in his pocket for when the camera is off him!