Made in Chelsea....anyone??

[MarthasGinYard]

Cannot abide the monotonic

....Harvey

Yes hw is funny I just find him less funny now I think it's a bit of an act. I used to enjoy his exchanges with Victoria.

And I quite like how he tries to school the others on what is proper

@Disa13 yep they are back, and meava as still as entertaining 🤣

@dinomumm ohh brilliant! Maeva is one of the most fiery characters there has been. I'll have caught up soon so sadly no more binge watching for a while!

In case you are now all wondering who Zara was cheating with, I did the google search so you don't have to

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/12643756/love-island-zara-mcdermott-sam-thompson-brahim-fouradi-x-factor/amp/

We can only wonder what wanna be singer/actress Zara saw in a music executive 😂

Dya think there's some sort of rites of passage on MIC where the men have to shag Liv Bentley?

Feel like it’s a bit two faced off Sam as he definitely cheated on plenty of girls in the past and begged for them back maybe karma does work

@happilybemused Thank you for posting the link, I was curious actually and I don't think they'll say on the show who it was.

I really do find Sam to be an obnoxious hypocrite so I couldn't help almost feel sorry for Zara despite what she'd done

@nc1962 I really dislike Sam, and also think he's a hypocrite. What Zara did wasn't right, but he was flirting and being inappropriate with tiff, knowing how Zara felt about it... he's not entirely innocent is he.

I can't stand meava still... she's entertaining 100% and i like watching her but she just doesn't come across as a nice person in my opinion

Not one tear in that hysterical crying fit.

Do you remember when Zara was doing X Factor and Sam was saying on the show she was being really weird and he travelled to surprise her and she got really annoyed and sent him away. Now we know why!

I could weep. I am on a binge watch and posting as I go and I’ve lost the pigging lot.

So an abridged version. Well, slightly abridged. I haven’t read any posts as I didn’t want any spoilers. Apologies if I repeat anything.

Episode 1.

Sameh is pointless and annoying.

Biscuits is pointless and annoying and quite possibly still covered in beard.

Fred is pointless and annoying and is actually covered in an actual moustache.

Paris is pointless and annoying and the weight of those lovely curls must be yanking on her vocal chords. You ain’t in the deeeeeeeeep soooooouth dear. More of a Chelsea affectation than a southern drawl.

Watching beefy boys work out is pointless and annoying.

RosiEEEEEEEEEEE (use all of your vowels dear) is pointless and annoying. And is also tryIng to usurp sticky vicky. Which will be unfortunate in that short skirt and MF’s fancy silky salon chair.

Tiff is really annoying and pointless and is sniffing for a second go in little Sameh despite her protestations to the contrary.

Zara is not so pointless and annoying. But is being pushed towards being so thanks to Sameh and Tiff being a bit dirty. I know what is about to transpire. She is annoying in that she didn’t feck him off last summer. She deserves better.

Emily is pointless and annoying and has clearly been sucking on helium for the lockdown period.

Little Melissa is pointless and annoying. And BUSTED!

Verity and Amelia are a bit pointless and annoying. They remind me in Victorian damsels.

Liv is just annoying. But will save herself a fortune in veneers if she carries on just speaking with her bottom teeth. Surprised that she didn’t boff someone too.

Freddiefingers is pointless and annoying. He needs to ditch the fiddle and pick up some shears. That man bun is a mess.

Frau is pointless and annoying. And the 8 swans she mentioned need to swoop in and drag her away screaming.

I don’t know WHY I watch. I guess I am pointless and annoying and have found my people.

Or I am a fame hungry whore.

Episode 2.

Wasn’t wrong with the Victorian damsel thing. That breakfast outfit was interesting . As was Tiff’s mutton sleeved blouse.

Fair play to Zara for calling Little Missy out. She is right in that they are all bitchy fucks. I would wager Zara might have been brought up better than her feral Chelsea playmates.

To be fair Missy doesn’t look sorry but I have no doubt that Tiff is trying to be some sort of sewage swirling puppet master. Why unsend your messages? Hooded claw territory that.

Tiff needs to back off. And Liv needs to stop shit stirring.

Is high end the new saying?

Oh look more fleshy work outs. High end or bell ends? You decide. You may guess that I have already made my decision... And I though Arg had burger nips.

And Harv n Tris are also in flamboyant breakfast attire. What’s going on? I’m guessing my shabby housecoat will not be de rigeur for my bovril and toast.

I love that fame hungry whore isn’t slagging Zara off according to flamingo Hal. I’m guessing they are all game hungry whores as they are all on the box.

Ollie wants a Princess Di day. And I think Mr Ollie is more quiet. And I think the latter is better because it is for the right reasons. And I’m glad Olz sees the love behind it and agrees.

How is Tristan all of a sudden saying he loved Verity. They were only together about 4 episodes.

He has gone a bit boily - bring out the red flaggy bunting.

And daft not to see that chas is going to be un ruffling that high necked blouse quicker than you can say embroidery.

Chas wasn’t with verity. Not really. Her face would have been red raw with that stubble. So it was Holmes. Didn’t see that. But I’ll be on stubble watch from now on.

Hilarious that Liv and Tiff are luring Zara in. Pair of antiwendies. Stabbing from the inner circle instead of the periphery. Clever.

Did Harv say he’d cooked the chickynuggets medium rare?????
She is going to be shitting herself inside out in that pristine lawn. Someone get Mr Olz on standby please. He had enough practise after the first date dog thing....

I have missed your comments sheldon

Thank you judy

I feel as though I’ve lost my nip a bit.

I should watch late at night when I’m tired and grouchy. 🤨

Also waves at billie

I’m here love, as requested.

Ploughing through in between making the supper and chores.

I will be caught up by midnight and will try (shifts permitting) to keep up to date.

I will definitely try to get back to some sort of norm. I feel I am lacklustre.

Best have my inner core of cow serviced.

Are they back in Covid times?!

Will have a look

@stillsomewhatsheldonesque

😂😂😂😂

Maeva certainly has some chutzpah. Her remark that she hadn't finished her eggs when Verity turned to talk to Tristan showed some gall.

I'd be terrified of her in real life but I can't help but admire her audacity.

Offs. Just lost another one. 😡

Emily and her ‘lovebirds’. Are you bastard 12?

And more Victorian attire. Do they just keep the bustles for the boudoir? I’m surprised they manage to do hookups. They must be armpit deep in unfinished samplers.

Feel a tiny bit sorry for Holmes. And I don’t think Verity handled it well. Fine kissing and all that jazz. And you don’t owe anyone anything after a kiss. But you don’t fuck with shy quiet people.

And Liv and Tris are ok to hook up? More double standards and da man free pass.

I don’t understand why Tris has been so upset. Didn’t he go all mean, moody and mute after she failed to show at something? I wouldn’t be staying with someone like that.

If JT presses himself any more to Moooocaaaah he will bond like some sort of epoxy. They’ve irked in the past but you can’t deny she can be quite the entertainer.

And if Tiff wants lessons on saying it how it is, because she really bloody doesn’t as only one of her faces speaks directly to peeps, then Maeva is your tutor. Nay professor.

I’ve been practising my bleating by the way. I am fabulous at it

Frau’s potential new squeeze is a tiny bit of me. And Frau’s by the look of it. Surfer boy has been palmed off to the realm of noodle. He has got the tiny touch of the Edgars about him.

I haven’t had caviar off a nipple. I’ve had ketchup. Longish story that involved me, my best male mate, squaddie lockdown and a bit of horizontalness on a bar in Ayia Napa.

He had shots out of my beautifully concave belly. It wouldn’t work now. It would be like pouring Jagermeister over a spacehopper.

I feel a bit sorry for Holmes. Not least because of his put down by Verity but because his eyebrows have fucked off. Black hair and nearly transparent brows.

And here’s me looking like bloody Alistair Darling since I’ve gone grey old bastard.

The make up picnic was attended by the biggest hypocrite on Sameh. He needs lessons off Maeva too.

Because he can’t stop little Sameh jerking whenever Tiff is around.

God isn’t Emily a cahnt. I mean that most positively of course. And no, habbs didn’t help me write that.

Ruby seems lovely. But needs a refund. Thems not Chelsea choppers.

They need a lot of Chelsea buses though. Because they are intent on chucking folk under them.

Which is where Sameh should be getting chucked next week. All the betrayal shite? Because he is utter Faithful boyfriend material eh? Zara’s only mistake was not binning him off after her dalliance.

And his sibling can’t speak either. Although she is adept at letting her feet do that.

Isn’t bake off on tonight?

I've the last two extravaganza's to view am somewhat behind....

Charlie's hair!! He looks even more chavvy with it all brushed forward like that.

As a former senior school teacher, I can say that I get bad vibes off Liv. She definitely has something of the class bitch about her.

I like Freddie, but seriously, the moustache is fucking ridiculous.

Jamie and Sam taking the moral high ground over cheating

@happilybemused

We can only wonder what wanna be singer/actress Zara saw in a music executive 😂

She isn't a very good actress with those crocodile tears

The last I remember of Buenos Aires was it getting obliterated by bugs in Starship Troopers. Klendathu should maybe have targeted sw3 instead. (No dissing my viewing please - I’m a lover of shite films as it requires zero thinking)

Ruby looked as though she was stifling a smirk when Zara was spilling her beans. Jamie was very noble walking away. But given that he has been a cheatyfeck he has, like Sameh, no room to talk.

Zara was right though. I don’t think they were in a good place at all when she went off a dallying. No excuses. I’m a great believer in bin before Sin but I can’t understand the attraction in Sameh in the first place. Zara could get much better.

Biscuits wanted a second chance but wouldn’t give one? Knob. And a screaming fat fecking hypocrite. But don’t you worry Jamie love. I’ve got you in my sights for the strictly thread.

Is Frau’s Will a cover for Mr Sparrow?
He is still quite adorable but cutting his pasta and a bow tie kind of spoiled my fantasy. Perhaps he should have little bow tie pasta. (Remembering my Alan Partridge - farfalle/smell my cheese) he wouldn’t have to cut that...

Emily just makes a noise. Can we not stuff her gub with olives so that she doesn’t have to speak.

I love seeing Maeva happy. And I’m glad that being happy hasnt bridled her tongue. Miles muddled her head and she was hurting before. I’m sure that she has cultivated her inner core of vache. We could be sisters. On the inside

I would love to know if they get embarrassed getting their grooves on round the pool.

It must be like doing the Macarena in Tesco. Just out of place and a touch inappropriate.

I loved Maeva’s unfinished eggy greeting.

And the dirge for the Zara Sameh convo? It went well with Sameh’s daily mail sad face. I care not. Do people have their tear ducts amputated when they sign on to towie or mic? The no tears bawling is proper odd.

And I will put money on Stiff doing the Penile shuffle during his relationship with Zara. Tiff doesn’t seem to be strenuously denying it.

The tris and chas convo? Mince. And The ‘big man’ thing parried with a sweet and cushty? Mangetout Rodney, mangetout.

But look at Sameh and Zara. Essex and Sw3 do not mix. Commoners and sw3 don’t mix. Because their shit don’t stink and yours does.

TT will probably rock up next week with her outrage. Pot and kettle missy. Think on.

Right. Caught up. Time to nurture my inner cow. And do the ironing and hoovering I’ve put off.