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Normal People on BBC3

649 replies

Bouledeneige · 27/04/2020 20:05

Binge watched it yesterday and loved it. Emotional, passionate and two really great leads. Thoroughly recommend it (so long as you don't mind lots of love scenes). Cried lie and felt bereft when it finished.

OP posts:
LadyRochfordsHoickedGusset · 02/05/2020 14:06

Maybe not while I was sitting beside them though Grin.

Confusedbutheyho · 02/05/2020 14:21

Found it very depressing in the episodes where she’s in Sweden

Rollergirl11 · 02/05/2020 14:30

* You is no where near Normal People in terms of adult content!*

@Querlouse care to expand?

Wbeezer · 02/05/2020 14:34

I think Mariannes experiments with BDSM werent really a kink she got off on, more a form of self harming. This is a bit more obvious in the book, as are Connels issues with anxiety which i agree (with PP) are behind his reluctance to acknowledge M in public more than her being an outcast. One of my young adult sons has problems with anxiety/social anxiety and Connel strongly reminded me of him at times.
In the book Connels interior monologue makes it clear he just wants a "nice" life, its what he feels he'll be able to handle and will make people think well of him, his involvement with Marianne starts to dismantle this almost immediately. She also initially gives him permission to keep her secret "nobody need know", a mistake but she was trying to overcome his hesitation.
I'm analysing the whole thing to prolong the experience!

mistermagpie · 02/05/2020 14:40

I can't be bothered reading the book now I know what happens but I would love to hear their internal monologues!

I think at the pool party was when he wanted to ask to move in with her and be a 'proper' couple, but also when he really realised how different their worlds were. He sort of looked around the party and knew he didn't fit in. I think he also attempted to demonstrate affection in public, but it felt so unnatural to him and made him feel even more insecure. I felt like that scene was where he really realised his own limitations.

Querlouse · 02/05/2020 15:05

I'd rather my 15 year old watched this than porn

Well...der.

You is silly and nothing is believable. Normal People is raw, quite explicit and emotional. My 14 year old might watch it secretly in her room but I'd feel totally uncomfortable watching it with her.

LadyRochfordsHoickedGusset · 02/05/2020 15:13

Eh? Isn't that what I said?

Querlouse · 02/05/2020 15:16

I was talking about the show "You" Grin

LadyRochfordsHoickedGusset · 02/05/2020 15:20

Yeah I got that , still confused Grin.

Querlouse · 02/05/2020 15:23

Then I'm confused as to why you are confused!

Querlouse · 02/05/2020 15:24

The second part was to rollergirl btw

TokyoSushi · 02/05/2020 15:29

I binge watched it in 2 days, I absolutely loved all of it. I'd like to watch it again (and wonder about moving to Ireland!)

I did feel emotionally drained at the end.

covetingthepreciousthings · 02/05/2020 15:31

She’s 14. She is very emotionally mature. She’s watched both series of You

I think I'd let her watch it. It could create some good discussion around consent, and such like.

Whilst YOU isn't as believable, it still features sexual content, drugs, murder etc..

Rollergirl11 · 02/05/2020 15:41

@Querlouse I was talking in terms of nudity/sexual content. You is explicit too, and while I get that it’s a lot more flippant and less navel gazing, it still has mature themes around dysfunctional relationships, obsession and mental health. As well as kidnap and murder!

Rollergirl11 · 02/05/2020 16:08

* I think at the pool party was when he wanted to ask to move in with her and be a 'proper' couple, but also when he really realised how different their worlds were. He sort of looked around the party and knew he didn't fit in. I think he also attempted to demonstrate affection in public, but it felt so unnatural to him and made him feel even more insecure. I felt like that scene was where he really realised his own limitations.*

I 100% agree with this. I think Connel is plagued with self doubt. He has a very deep connection with Marianne and he is very much attracted to her complexities. When they are on their own he is confident expressing himself and is comfortable in his own skin. But when they are with other people I think he feels inferior to Marianne and her effortless assertiveness and confidence only shines a light on his own inadequacies when it comes to expressing himself.

MisguidedAngel · 02/05/2020 16:30

I think I'm going to like it, but couldn't watch it with DP. He's a bit deaf and the accents make it more difficult so I switched on the subtitles. That finished it for me! "she groans softly" "they pant and moan" etc. Surely deaf people have enough imagination not to need that! Too cringe worthy to have it spelt out.

user1481840227 · 02/05/2020 16:54

@Rollergirl11
Yes I think that it's definitely implied that her preference for that kind of sex is not as a result of a genuine love for that, but in a way a form of self harm because she feels damaged and worthless.
I 100% think that her first sexual experiences with Connell would have played a part in that however.
It's kind of annoying really when they said they did so much good for each other. Perhaps if she had just waited a few months until she went to college and met a different guy and lost her virginity to him then he might have done a lot more good for her than Connell did!!

@covetingthepreciousthings
As far as I remember he was going to ask her could he stay with her during the pool scene rather than going back to Sligo, but couldn't bring himself to ask!

@rollergirl
I would 100% let a teenage daughter or son watch, but i'd watch it with them and discuss topics such as consent, respect, emotional abuse and so on!
It's a great series IMO for getting some conversations going about that!

,

Querlouse · 02/05/2020 17:32

I would 100% let a teenage daughter or son watch, but i'd watch it with them and discuss topics such as consent, respect, emotional abuse and so on!

My dds would rather stick pins in their eyes than sit with me giving them a blow by blow discussion.

We (dd20) did discuss BDSM a bit. Tbh my 14 year old has zero interest in watching, they are all different, just use your judgement I guess.

pawsforawhile · 02/05/2020 18:14

I might watch it again when I'm in a better place.

I missed that chapter of my life and met my first real love in my 40s . The sex scenes in this made me cry , they were powerful and real and made me feel what I lost . Ditto with the miscommunication and clumsy attempts to convey their real feelings verbally. It was so close to my own experience it hurt at times and I found myself thinking why don't people just say why they mean!!

I wanted them to be together. I found the end sad for that reason. I hope they find each other again after they graduate.

user1481840227 · 02/05/2020 18:23

@Querlouse, I wouldn't sit and pause it after each scene lol...but i'd absolutely discuss it afterwards.
I often have these chats with my 14 year old son! He doesn't mind them at all, and sometimes brings them up himself!

Wbeezer · 02/05/2020 18:53

@user1481840227 i disagree that her early sexual experiences with Connel affected her later sex life i think his rejection of her when he asked Rachel to the Debs dance damaged her not the sex, the social rejection mafe her feel unlovable and changed her perception of their relationship including the sex, but only with hindsight. If their rekationship had developed in the direction she hoped the sex would not have been a bad memory. Her family are the source of most of her mental injuries ultimately, in my opinion.

BlancheDuBlah · 02/05/2020 18:59

I agree, her family are the source of it. I thought that all along, by the time Connell came along she'd already been made to feel worthless regularly to an extent by her brother's abuse and her mother's refusal to take him to task.

When he wouldn't acknowledge her as a girlfriend at school that felt natural to her, an extension of her family dynamics.

user1481840227 · 02/05/2020 19:33

@Wbeezer, I don't mean it was the actual sex with Connell that affected her, but the overall experience of her early relationship with him!!
Lying in bed having meaningful sex, bonding afterwards...then the next day he acts like he doesn't know you!!

Not all sexual trauma is a result of the actual sex itself! It can be due to relationship dynamics moreso than the sex, and the fact that you're having sex with someone who doesn't like you or respect you or so on. The sex itself might be fine!

@BlancheDuBlah
Yes her family might have been the start of it, but things may have turned out differently for her if she had met a different guy before Connell, or if Connell had said to his friends that he was with Marianne now and stuck up for her and didn't treat her in the way that her family had treated her.

His treatment of her felt like a natural extension of her family dynamics.......so imagine if he hadn't acted like her family did? Imagine he treated her wonderfully privately AND publicly from the start?
That might have went a long way to helping her heal!

BlancheDuBlah · 02/05/2020 19:53

Don't get me wrong User that's what I would prefer! I'm guessing at the motivation for her character in this book.

Wbeezer · 02/05/2020 20:04

Aw well, knowing the fickleness of youth, if there had been a youthful paragon of manly virtues around who fancied her, Marianne wouldn't have fancied him...i suspect if you asked a grown-up Marianne if she could erase that time from her personal history she wouldn't, painful though some of it was.

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