Dispatches - Growing Up Poor

[TurquoiseKiss]

Did anyone see this? I'm half way through on catch up - very tough to watch.

I do have friends that were on benefits before starting a business and they were actually better off then rather then now. That alone shows how the system isnt working. Their life wasnt hell, they were able to eat out etc.

I did feel like that 8 Year old had a very high emotional burden. I don't begrudge them a dog though. Or a mobile phone. Or a smoke.

I make my kids do a fair bit of helping with the housework and errands and things. I think it helps prepare them for adult life. I don't think children are going to feel burdened by carrying a carton of milk for you or helping you sort the washing, but they should not be having to pick up on MH symptoms or telling their parent when to take their pills.

Your right I don't understand fully how the benefits system works completely as I have been lucky enough to never need to use them, but I'm not naive to those who don't genuinely need it, and those who are playing the system.

I think the benefits cap for 2 children is a fantastic idea, it's about time they start clamping down.
I know a few people who are receiving the enhanced rate of pip, they certainly shouldn't be getting it.
Things are changing in the right direction but even 1 person falsely claiming is still too much imo we have a serious crisis on our hands and it's really sad because those in genuine need are the ones suffering.
Sorry if I touched a nerve gilead no offense intended.

But the child was living with a mum with MH problems surely it was better to explain it and why she was taking meds and how her mood could change rather than assuming her kids would think everything was fine and not notice. It’s not the best situation of course but with limited help and support there wasn’t many other options. Plenty of young carers have face harsh realities of physical or mental illness.

The phone may have helped for maybe a week or two but then they be in same situation with nothing to sell. If that was only social thing or activity she had was playing games on phone or talking free with friends, keeps hungry children occupied.

I do my own nails. They're very short, have always been so due to how I've mostly made my living (it involves a keyboard), but I'm so good at doing them people often ask who did them or comment on them. I use Maybelline Stay Perfect with Seche Vite gel top coat. The trick is to absolutely cover the nail and then once it all hardens off, clean the skin off with a coarse wash towel and soap and water. You can find out on YouTube. Mine grow really fast and strong and hard so if I did want to grow them long I easily could and do them. I do them every week, cost very little. I've never paid for a mani or pedi in my life and I'm 49 in a few months.

We keep a cat. We tried everything, but this place backs onto Forestry Commission land and is otherwise infested with mice. We easily afford her, but she stays no matter what.

I don't believe in punishing poor people, even for their 'choices'. I don't think it does any good. Quite the contrary.

If that makes me an apologist, I'm okay with that. I'm okay with paying taxes as I can. I've worked in a lot of fields, I've seen how people can end up on the skids and don't feel like they owe me justification in return for my taxes, which continually go to the line the pockets of the few.

I did feel like that 8 Year old had a very high emotional burden

I agree but in the absence if a functioning mental health service and with adult social services on barely functioning due to lack of funds I fail to see what else the woman could have done. She clearly could not cope alone and the help is simply not available.

I suppose she could have put the kids in care but I very much doubt that would have improved things much for any of them given that children's social services is also woefully understaffed and underfunded.

frequency apparently they had to walk a long distance with heavy bags as they didn't have bus money

So it all the responsability of no enough services? I think a measure of personal responsability is not punishing, is a matter of natural consequences. I think services should be there to help the kids, too often money that are supposed to help them end up in alcohol or other addiction.

@Frequency

Nails, hair etc are easy to get for £ or free if you know the right people. If I lost my job tomorrow we'd soon run out of food and money but I'd still have my hair professionally coloured regularly, my make-up professionally done when the occasion required (such as for job interviews) and my nails done

That is a despicable attitude and is all that is wrong with some people in this country.

A long distance is subjective. I believe anything less than a 45 minute walk away is well within walking distance. My 12yo thinks sending her to the shop three doors down is akin to child abuse and I regularly get offered lifts home from so I don't have to "walk all that way" i.e 20 minutes down the road at a strolling pace.

I'm sure the kids survived the ordeal unscathed. Mine always did, even in the height of summer. The ice cream sometimes suffered and my sanity was often on the brink but the kids were fine, despite their protestations.

Ok I apologise, I did not read the rest of your post, frequency. If you had the kit there then obviously you’re going to use it on yourself. It is not the same as someone payifn to get it done, of course it isn’t, so why did you even jump in with that response?

@Frequency

Oh absolutely. I am angry with austerity all round. The cuts to mental health services mean we are creating child carers who should not be child carers. I would never advocate for children to be taken into care unless absolutely necessary, and there are many things I found commendable and relatable. But I did feel upset for the 8 year old.

My point is that there are things that can be done, a proactive attitude, rather then moan about things. The lady said she it was a hardship having to walk very far(she said, i dont know how far that was) with heavy shopping, but could have easily planned to find a shopping trolley, luggage , anything instead ykwim?

@Watchitt
Unfortunately we dont live in a society where everyone makes the absolute best financial decisions at all times and sells their dogs in times of struggle.
Yes, we should have services to support people, even people who make bad decisions, though I don't think there's evidence to say the families in this program were making poor decisions.
We live in an imperfect society but I believe we all deserve that safety net as a civilised country. Are there going to be people who take the piss? Undoubtedly. But they cost a lot less to the country than the people who take the piss by hoarding money and not paying taxes, or billionaires who own newspapers pointing fingers at the poor for the state of the country.

Because as I said further down in the post how do you know the woman in question wasn't a former nail tech? Or that her neighbour or friend wasn't? Or she wasn't a very good nail hobbyist?

My sister is currently struggling on benefits and her hair looks amazing, even if I do say so myself. Alas, she won't let me loose on her nails.

Purple no offence taken. However it doesn't work that people get more if there's no fraud. And one person being fraudulent punishes us all' so you're wonderful and happy attitude at the new benefit rules is a tad off as it's actually penalising people with disabilities.
Are you sure the people on PiP shouldn't be? Really 100% sure? You know what goes on behind closed doors?

Well if you’re talking about people in the programme then no, we don’t know if they’ve had nails and hair done for free by a friend. You can’t tell what the reality is from a TV programme, if you have any brains. But I bet plenty of people on this thread know people in real life who claim to struggle financially but that still find the money (so not a friend’s favour) to go and get their hair coloured in a salon or nails at a salon. Or get pissed at the pub.

Yeah, I'm such a spendthrift. I had my hair cut this year. Don't drink though, don't smoke, don't really go out although I've been to the opera this year but it was the first time in 25 years.

Of course it doesn't work on an individual basis but it's pretty self explanatory if the country is saving millions in false benefit claimants then that money is available to use in other areas.
Absolutely agree that the people who need it are punished because of the bad apples, which is why the government is putting measures in place and making it harder it seems for people to claim falsely. Surely that can only be a good thing?

Yes unfortunately I am, they are my own family member's, they have LD so obviously have their problems but honestly both are capable of working some form of job, even if only stacking shelves, but the amount they receive between them is staggering. Their claims are legit and what the assessors awarded them so technically not doing anything wrong but off the attitude free money is better and much more substantial than working money.

@TheRightHonerable Where did I say I was offended? People have always had attitudes like your's, I'm not shocked by anything anymore. Whilst the pregnancy was unplanned, I actually had irresponsible unprotected sex, so reading your posts it looks like I'm exactly the kind of person you're referring to. I expect a lot of people in similar circumstances made similarly bad calls, like I said, how long do we have to go round apologising for? Forever?

@Gilead Yeah, I'm such a spendthrift. I had my hair cut this year. Don't drink though, don't smoke, don't really go out although I've been to the opera this year but it was the first time in 25 years. angry

I do hope that anger isn’t directed at me. Since my comment wasn’t directed at YOU, or people like you who ARE conscious of the need to be careful with what you spend your money on when you have got kids and your income is low. As well you know. -equally angry face-

The little girl Courtney, what a sweetheart. I've not read the entire thread, but did anyone else feel like her mother perhaps shared a bit too much with her about the financial pressure they were under and her own mental health issues? I'm not suggesting that she ought to have been shielded from their problems entirety but at eight years old, but it made me feel so so sad for her when she said she worried at school

I did slummum, my mum burdened me with her problems at the same age and it wasn't nice. I feel strongly that kids should be protected from a parents worries

I cried buckets over that lovely girl . I had a lovely childhood and so does dd. That poor girl struggling through her GCSEs made my cry bless her .

Although I didn't think it was a particularly well put together film.