The Baby Has Landed

[Sotiredsomuch]

Anyone watching?

I love stuff like this.

but it's not the scenario that is being portrayed here.

I know, that’s why I’m asking if you would feel differently if the person who would raise the babies was a different person.

And I answered you?

I don't know which 'mother' should be the one to look after them, but I do think that in nearly every circumstance it is better for a child to have a mother than not.

When you say “mother” do you mean female parent? It sounds like you’re happier if the babies are going to a female parent than two Male parents. In the scenario we’re discussing, were calling Mel the mother (she birthed them so is birth mother)- her sister wouldn’t be their mother.

Yes, I think babies should have a mother, wherever possible.

So that translates as you think gay men shouldn’t adopt children?

Presumably it also means gay women shouldn’t either as babies should have a father too?

They've not adopted these children. These aren't children who were in the care system waiting for parents. They borrowed an egg, and rented a womb (at risk to the mother), in order to fulfil their own desire of having a child.

I think not having your mother is worse than not having a father. Adopted children mostly seem to prioritise finding the mother and feel more emotional about being abandoned by the mother. However I do think all children should know their father if possible and that is true for the children of lesbians too.

Boyo I’m not taking about this specific scenario. You’ve said babies should have a mother wherever possible- which suggests you think a gay couple shouldnt adopt a baby at birth.

In an ideal world, I think a baby should have both a mother and a father. Especially a mother, given our bodies are the ones who can carry, deliver and nurture babies.

2 men have gleefully walked out the hospital without a backward glance regardless of anything else, this isn't true. They were very concerned about her, one of them was quite tearful.

They couldn’t have been that concerned for her if they put her through a twin pregnancy.

Exactly.

It’s not about feeling gay people shouldn’t adopt from birth. Or any other time. It’s just being mindful that for a baby to be taken away from its mother that has carried it for 9 months and then given birth to it, is traumatic for that baby not forgetting the mother, too.

But Mel agreed! No one forced her to do this regardless of the other points being made about surrogacy it was her choice regardless of what other people might think

Boyo
Do not agree with that. Some 'mothers' don't nurture children and are simply not cut out for it.
You sound quite homophobic in all honesty.
A child needs love and protection. It doesn't mean that has to come from a woman and man.
Love is love. It's 2019.

There is a severing of a natural bond. It's a massive loss for the mother, however selfless she is being. And it is a massive loss for those babies too. It's her heartbeat/body that they know.

Well ideally, everyone who wants children would be able to have them naturally, and everyone who didn’t want children wouldn’t have them. But we’re not living in an ideal world and this couple couldn’t naturally conceive and carry children between the two of them alone. Of course they could adopt, and like I said, I am not comfortable with surrogacy so adoption would sit far more comfortably with me.

@CaptainMyCaptain agree. He openly admitted that they planned everything but didn't even think about leaving her. He was teary. Not going to lie when she cried I cried aswell

Just because someone agrees to do something for you doesn’t make it ok. No doctor in the uk would agree to putting two back given the chances of success being high.
Mel seems like one of those really kind people who don’t like to say no.

It's not homophobic to say a baby needs their mother. It's basic biology.

Babies need a primary carer. If babies needed a mother then the human population would be much smaller than it is because lots of babies aren’t raised by their mother and if that was a need, they would have died.

Mel seems like one of those really kind people who don’t like to say no.

She actually volunteered to be their surrogate. They didn’t ask her.

Death is a bit extreme though. We know adoptees are often haunted by the feeling their mother abandoned them. It’s written into our biology as mammals.

Mel volunteered to be a surrogate but the men chose the twin pregnancy ( they mentioned this in episode 1)

Being separated from your mother at birth is a trauma, regardless of the circumstances.