Not all the wives are bitchy to the Handmaids.
I think when Emily was sent to a different household and her name was changed from Ofglen to Ofsteven, the wife in that household was kind.
And the Econowife would have been terrified for her family when June arrived. Rightly so as it turned out. June wasn't there long enough to be anything but a worry to her, she didn't have time to be nice, but she was frightened for her husband and son from the moment June arrived.
I think that's the nature of Gilead though. Nothing is real, nobody can trust anybody else, the wives even have little digs at each other, and they are all living under the power and control of the men.
The man are not nice to each other, although they can't be openly hostile either. That scene with the Commanders shooting clay pigeons was filled with unspoken hostility to each other. They are spying on each other and plotting. They're prepared to cut off each others arms if need be.
And it's not the women raping people is it, even though the wives participate by holding women down? It's not women walking around with guns and dogs, or dragging people away in vans. Women aren't hanging people from the wall. The Handmaids are used to stone people to death, mostly I think other women or gay men, but it's still all these 'nice' men behind the scenes making that happen.
Nice men who shot civilians in the streets in the first series. Nice men who murdered the US Congress in a terrorist attack. Nice men who sat in a limo dreaming up the ritual to involve the wives in the monthly rape.
We've already seen the sleazy side of Fred, taking June to Jezebel's and we know he's raped other women there as well. I think we're going to see worse from him this series and perhaps from the other Commanders too.
We already know Janine's Commander was as sleazy as they come, making her believe he would take her and the baby and leave his wife, just so he could rape her more often and have her think it was love.
The women are all fighting for something. Lives, sanity, status, freedom, motherhood, they're all desperate but they are all living in Gilead as it is. The men are presenting a pious facade while still keeping their old sleazy habits on the side. Fred and his magazines and scrabble games and his trips to Jezebel's to have sex with women who have no choice and his minimising of his wife who I seriously think was the brains who got him where he wanted to be, misguided as that was, I think the credit is hers.
I wonder if we're so used to seeing men behave like this that that's why they can seem nice to us while they do it?