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Original poster

The River Boys are back in town...

997 replies

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 05/04/2018 18:42

@SleepingStandingUp, @CurbsideProphet et al - we filled up a Home and Away thread. This is unheard of. So here’s shiny new one - I know there are only a few of us, but keep the faith.

#bloodandsand

OP posts:
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12
Hygge · 29/04/2018 21:13

They can't kill Ash off. Who would Robbo punch in the face if Ash dies?

Original poster
TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 29/04/2018 21:58

Mason has been asking for a punch in the face since he came to the Bay. Maybe Robbo will put us all out of our misery and step up to the plate.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 29/04/2018 22:56

Pygge, you!

ChoccyJules · 29/04/2018 23:32

Yes I was recalling the previous bloke who died under a car, Irene's fiance he was. So as they've done that already they will have to save Ash as they never repeat a storyline eh?! Grin

Cel982 · 30/04/2018 07:57

Dammit, we’re an episode behind here in Ireland. It would have vastly improved my weekend to see a car fall on Ash’s pig-headed, misogynistic face.

Hygge · 30/04/2018 08:01

Wrong end anyway Cel, it landed on his lower body but I think you can see his man bun straining under the pressure if you look closely.

keeponrunning85 · 30/04/2018 08:24

Nevermind his man bun, surely his man bits are well and truly squished?!

SleepingStandingUp · 30/04/2018 10:06

I was thinking about his man bits 😢

Hygge · 01/05/2018 17:02

So bad news at the hospital for Ash, it looks like his man bun won't be amputated after all.

Verdict still out on the bits lower down though.

And Robbo wore a shirt with sleeves, for possibly the first time in history.

SleepingStandingUp · 01/05/2018 18:08

I'll nurse him

Hygge · 01/05/2018 18:33

You'll have to fight Tori for the position of Only Doctor In Summer Bay before you get to do that.

Perhaps Robbo could help you fight her by punching Ash in the face.

SleepingStandingUp · 01/05/2018 18:35

I'll punch you Pyggey!!

I wanna nurse him, not doctor him. I could be Jasmine

Hygge · 01/05/2018 18:46
Grin

He may not need doctoring if that car has already doctored his man bits for him.

SleepingStandingUp · 01/05/2018 18:49

Pyggey tgis is why we aren't friends any more and you aren't invited to my Summer Bay wedding

Hygge · 01/05/2018 18:57

Summer Bay weddings are always doomed.

Especially when the grooms squashed flat man bits make him like a naked Ken doll.

I'll just watch from a distance so the residents can wonder who the mysterious stranger is.

ChoccyJules · 01/05/2018 20:38

I will bring the flowery archway and keep the car engine running on the headland for whoever wants to run from their nuptuals...

SleepingStandingUp · 01/05/2018 21:08

Thanks Choccy, that's how you get in the bridal party! Take note Pyggey

CurbsideProphet · 01/05/2018 21:45

My favourite Summer Bay wedding is still Hayley and Noah's Smile Are you planning a barefoot beach ceremony with Mr Stewart officiating?

AGnu · 01/05/2018 22:32

Why was Tori basically giving him a chest massage?! No way would that have helped his heart at all. It was clearly for her benefit - taking advantage of a half-naked patient! Shock

SleepingStandingUp · 01/05/2018 23:31

Oh hell yeah, barefoot, floaty dress, flowers in my hair, Mr S officiating, reception in SALT, I'd go full on cliche.
Choccy is chief bridesmaid, with the car running just in case. Hygge isn't invited but skulks in the background. AGnu will stop Tori from stopping the wedding.

I'd like to see Colbs help Tori relax a little... then she'd see his tattoo and he could be added to her list of unsuitable men to fix!!

Original poster
TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 02/05/2018 06:51

Sleeping - can I come?

Because don’t forget you need the never-seen-before best friend who lives in the city and arrives in the Bay supposedly to attend the wedding but actually to fill your mind with doubts about marrying a no-good River Boy surfer with anger management issues and a very half-hearted work ethic.

You will have a massive pre-wedding wobble, because before you came to the Bay you were a high-powered barrister who worked as a brain surgeon on weekends, and you’re not sure that you feel totally fulfilled as one of the diner ladies, swapping vegan muffin recipes with Marilyn.

But then Ash strolls in and grunts at you in his vest, and Alf growls that he’s never seen a couple so suited, and you realise that you have to follow your heart no matter what.

So the day of the wedding dawns and you are So Happy! Leah, who is obvs your New Best Friend, not that I’m jealous AT ALL, is doing your hair with wild flowers artlessly picked from the caravan park; Marilyn is making you a scrumptious vegan tofu cake; your dress is from Liv Designs and looks like something Primark rejected as not quite classy enough but you don’t care because you are marrying your Bad Boy Come Good. He has a clean vest especially for the occasion and is trying frantically to find one man in the Bay that he hasn’t punched to be his best man. And even though you’ll both be living in Irene’s Tardis after the wedding, she’s promised to move out for the wedding night so that you can shag in peace.

There’s just one tiny snag. The reason Hygge is lurking on the edges of your wedding, staring moodily into the distance? Three months ago (crucially well before his man bits got crushed), she dropped her Ford Fiesta off at Summer Bay Motors for its MOT. Justin was off shagging Willow, Ziggy was off shagging Brody (like any of them go to work, ever) and - well, one thing led to another. Ash, clearly fed up that he was the only one not getting any, was moodily working on Hygge’s car while she hung around waiting. He asked her to pass him a spanner, she passed him a wrench, he chuckled fondly, their eyes met over a spare tyre and...

Well, I’m the one whose going to have to break it to you that she’s now pregnant with his child...On your wedding day. At sunset. With Alf in the backgroound going: You flamin’ galah!

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 02/05/2018 08:14

You just made me sad NewCross. In my heart. Choccy better have that car ready. I'm leaving and all I'll take offs a tiny bag of stuff. You wait, I'll be back in 3 years with twins I never told him about and Alf will let me live with him

keeponrunning85 · 02/05/2018 08:17

The wedding sounds great! Can I come?

I am being forced into being a moany medic. H&A really has gone too far with the number of cardiac arrests. And their success rate is UNBELIEVABLE! And why is Ash's blood the colour of weak summer fruit cordial?!

I think they need to appoint me as their medical advisor immediately.

SleepingStandingUp · 02/05/2018 08:37

You need to come for when there's the inevitable medical emergency.

I was always amazed how quickly Luc got out after bowel surgery but then perhaps WE were just incredibly unlucky with how lo mg it took us

Hygge · 02/05/2018 09:07

Shock That pregnant woman is not me, it's obviously my evil and desperate twin who I've never mentioned before but who everybody in the Bay suddenly collectively remembers as though they've known the two of us forever.

The only involvement between me, Ash, and a wrench would involve me hitting him over the head with it if he tried to put his squashed man bits anywhere near me.