Welcome to the Tavern everybody, lurkers and all (we can smell you). Here is a list of all the regulars (as of 30/06/14 yes, I started this ages ago. Five kids remember 
) first posts onto the threads so we can look back and remember where it all began.
It all started on 20th February, 2014 at 16:15:04 with
'AIBU to not know which of the musketeers I'd boff first?'
malc
"It's doing my head in. 5 leading actors and I fancy ALL of them. I tried to pick the one I fancied most when he was a simple cartoon dog and that was Aramis, but just one look as sexy Richelieu in his black cloak of evil and I'm a gooey mess.
It's turned me into such a tart, but IABU to want all of them. No? Ok thanks."
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Shortly afterwards stinkers joined in..
"Athos. Not keen on the others, might stretch to D'artagnan if I had to"
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Followed by badvoc
"Aramis
Athos
Porthos
Captain trevielle
The cardinal
Dartagnon
In that order.
Twice."
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oblomov
"Aramis
Athos
D'artagnan
Porthos
Capaldi? No sorry."
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letus
"Aramis.
Then Aramis.
Then Aramis several more times.
There's a bit near the end of the third episode where he says "whipping?" and makes a whipping noise. I've watched it a few times."
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Haven't we all letus haven't we all.....
Sorry, right.
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Then along came mavis
"Well, this thread has cheered me up no end whilst I endure day 3 of sitting on the sofa with suspected Black Death (possibly a cold).
Athos first came to my attention when he played the son of Casanova in, er, Casanova a while back. He almost distracted me from David Tennant. He was good in The Hour too. "
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Shortly followed by hannah
"Athos and Porthos sandwich please.
... actually no. Would like to savour individually first.
A different musketeer for different days/moods.
Athos for my angry/snarly days so he could shag the mood out of me with his even angrier sword.
Porthos for those days when I'm feeling fat/ugly/manly - he would pick me up with one hand tell me my cellulite, saggy boobs, bumbag give him the raging horn and take me instantly over the veg rack."
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And drink
"Only now catching up in iPlayer, thanks to MN! How many times will Capaldi feature in episode 1? Or do I have to follow the plot?
"
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Then ali poked her head round the door...
"I did enjoy last night's episode - Porthos looked bloody good with not a lot on."
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Hang. The. Fuck. On. How come everyone wants Porthos on this thread? Eh?
Anyway..
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Here's cin
"
I watched the first three episodes back to back last night. I nearly imploded from a surfeit of hot men in leather clothes. My brain also turned to mush due to the lack of plotline, but meh.
I would like a threesome with Aramis and Athos, please. Dogtanian can play the lute to soothe me when I'm exhausted afterwards, and do my hair and make-up to cover the ravages."
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And so The Musketeers thread moved into Telly Addicts....
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Where anne jumped aboard.
"Can't believe I missed this thread. Camp Aramis here. DH looks nothing like a Musketeer and seems not to be bothered by appreciation. I will take Santiago in any form in which he comes.
A demain as they do not say in The Musketeers."
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Followed by a helpful sparkle
"I have a chicken coop no more than 10ft from where I'm sitting right now.
Just sayin'"
Who then disappears for a bit before returning with...
"Ok wenches, time for me to nail my colours to the mast if I may. Have lurked since the first thread (in fact I think I may have posted once on that), does that mean I can join in? Am anyway
I have a few observations. Firstly & I guess most importantly, here is my list of preference for the spreadsheet.
- Aramis. Any bloody day of the week. I know that puts me at the back of your queue but you lot don't feature in my head, soz That man is too bloody fit for his own good.
- D'Art. I know this goes against the grain on here but he's just soooooo pretty.
- Athos
- Porthos
Not on list - the Cardinal. Je m'excuse.
Moving on, re what somebody said a couple of pages back re Aramis & the Cardinal's mistress in ep 1 - did he not hear her wail that she loved Aramis as she was about to die? Is he not just biding his time on that one or doesn't he know yet? Not sure I want to see the episode when that fallout occurs.
Also - has anybody else seen Tamla Kari's twitter feed on which her sister reports her Dad was "OMG I can't watch this" at the end of Sunday night's episode. Made me "
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And was swiftly followed by Norah
"I think I'd like to join you all! I would look fucking brilliant in a corset
So, not in order of preference exactly, but the order I would shag them in...
- Athos, he won't have done it for years so it will be disappointing quick and he will probably cry afterwards.
- Dogtanian, he would be like an over eager puppy, knocking stuff over etc. Quantity rather than quality.
- Porthos, he would be the filthy perfect way to get rid of the slightly icky feeling one might get from doing Dogtanian.
- Aramis, he'd be the gift that keeps on giving, and would be rather nice to wake up to.
Treville, maybe, the cardinal, er, no.
So, do I pass?
"
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Although this list was quickly revised to PORTHOS with Aramis Thursdays. 
Anyhoo.....
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madame
"Bonsoir ladies. Can I join you tonight for ep 4?"
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helen
"
Dear god, how much Wine does he have stacked up there? Never mind Sullen Leaning, that's Stocious Leaning.
"
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helen kept on delurking and lurking, which made it a bit confusing. But she's here now, that's the main thing.
Just when we thought it was all getting a bit low brow, in came our newest member...
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comtesse
"
Hello? Hello? Anyone in? Am I too late to join the Wenchfest?
I've been lurking since the first post, and seeing as more or less I AM Hannah, I've not felt the need to pipe up. But now I'm worried that I might lose you all forever, and I haven't even got a locket pressed next to my heart to remind me of you all. So I've very cautiously peeped out from the murk of lurk. I 've literally lurked for years all over Mumsnet and this is what's brought me out!!
Why? You lot are soooooooooo feckin funny. And I need to embrace the bosoms of my fellow pervers. DH hasn't linked the Muskeperving with the sudden upsurge of interest on a Sunday night. But, phew, after last night, I nearly blurted 'Athos' in the throws of passion!
And I awoke early replaying the Athos "I can't believe you slept with the queen!' over in my head. I'm embarrassed by my teen ogling of the man. But fucking hell. Tom/Athos has got it all. Tho I'd do all of em tbh.
Long post. Sorry. Must.Control.Impulses
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And we sunk to a new low.
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Hang on, who's this? Why it's elk
"Well Hellooo there ladies. After 10 hilariously funny laugh out loud threads, I thought the final Sexmas Eve of the series (sob) would be as good a time as any to finally delurk and join you all if I may. I would have done so threads ago, but your sheer rate of random blabbering level of commitment and my lack of belief I could match up against your erudition and eloquence of wit kept me lurking in the shadows.
However with all this speculation on plot lines (yes, plot chat....who'd have thought!), I got to wondering how they could maintain the Athos/milady tension and have developed a theory....I've not read that far into the book, so if it resembles the original story in any way, apologies for being boringly predictable.
Anyway, here's my theory (ahem) I reckon the real reason why milady did for delaferetheyounger has to come out - he did something vile to her and because he was everybody's favourite no one would believe her - but it would be something that would justify her killing him. So, rather than hating her, our gorgeous hero can go back to feeling guilty and tortured for originally having her hanged. She is then thrown in the Bastille, from where he secretly help her to escape. She finds another evil patron and sinks back into the shadows so she can continue being devilish, but this time Athos can't resist her when she returns periodically every episode to ravish him.
They get a bit of bed action, we get a bit more billowing, open even more, shirt action, and Athos gets to remain miserable and self loathing (just the way he likes it), cue lots of piercing bedroom eyes and leaning.
So whaddaya think? More holes than the real plot writers??, I'll fit right in then
Heres my list btw:
As Musketeers - Athos
In RL -Tom Burke (but he'd have to arrive in full Athos costume on that gorgeous black horse)
So, sorry Hannah, Comtess and all the others on the Athos spreadsheet, you'll have to budge up a bit, I'm about four and a half years pregnant, and if I don't get a go, I will get very hormonal on yo ass - chin jut, clicks fingers realises I'm a middle class white woman from a small northern town and really can't carry that off Fortunately, in my lecherous fantasies, my massively distended front side completely disappears and I magically revert to the taut athletic body I had 10 20 years ago.
I may hang on to the impressively hoikable bosom however."
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Unfortunately she posted all of this too early on the next thread in Drink's opinion and so followed this up with on the previous one....
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"Here you all are....I just posted a right rambling post on the next thread introducing myself, I thought you'd all have finished this one overnight.
Drink sent me back here with a flea in my ear - she's feisty that one int she"
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Doesn't sound like Drink does it?
I cannot confirm whether bosom has remained hoikable though...
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Elk was quickly followed by jess
"Hi all! I've been a massive lurker of this thread for so long now and finally decided on our last day of Sunday night musketeers heaven to finally join you all, so hi!!
I'm so sad I can't perv on my brooding boo athos every Sunday night now, tonight cannot come quick enough! Also over the weeks I've noticed my boss is such a lookalike for porthos which is distracting as hell!
Hope you're all having a lovely Mother's Day, currently trying to coax my hungover mother out of bed, who knew you could be so hungover after 1 glass of wine!!"
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and so we reach the end of the Telly Addicts threads and start wondering panicking about what will happen next. We started running about like headless chickens trying to figure out what to call the Tavern (no e) we were relocating to should be called
And then....just when it seemed we were going to wander aimlessly looking for a new home....
"Ooh, ooh.
Ahem.
'The Swagger Inn'"
ayethengyoo
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End of part one.