X FACTOR - The RESULTS! Who will be left singing 'Sad songs' and wondering 'Where do broken hearts go?'

[Raahh]

Simon is hoping it will be Stevi- but i wonder if the great british public will keep him in?

I want Lamenting Lozza to go- she's just depressing

I am prepared to add 'the cast of the Starship enterprise' and Howard W to a sub list. It's not good, but I grant you it is a look.

Line

I've got big boobs too, wear your boobs with pride Rudolph. Bet there's some woman who envies them and some bloke who's dying to put his mitts on them.

Or bloke who envies them and woman who wants to get her mitts on them.

EQUAL OPPS YO!

Why would anyone want the XFactor Songbook?

It is a demonstration of why you should avoid that particular look, and therefore an important public service.

When you talk to your Google, do you HAVE to start each sentence 'OK, Google', or are those people on teh adverts just twats?
It's very pass agg, innit?

I'm very impressed with that list too, Rudy. I would love that kind of instant wisdom.

Olly Murs head seems to grow by the day. Does he have a condition?

I guess it's like addressing Siri. DS2 likes to address Siri in the car. He switches the song to what he wants to listen to while I'm driving: 'Siri, play talking bird'

Evening! I am 20 minutes late but am not even going to bother to rewind. What on earth is Fleur wearing? Why are the stylists so insistent upon showing us her fanjo? Can't the x-factor afford to send her a gyno or something?

No you don't have to say OK Google! But DH pisses me off cos he mutes the feckin tele otherwise Google can't hear it! It doesn't hear him when I shout "Just fucking type it!" Either!

Im still waiting for James Arthur and sam Bailey to do a number on here. How easily they are forgotten.

I forgot to vote for Stevi! He better not leave tonight.

No, just conditioner.

Oh, I'm very sure of my rightness in all the things. Balanced as it is with crippling anxiety and self-doubt. Yin-yang. So important.

Can we pick something random? Like 'Ernie'?

I die for Pinhead returning. Let's lobby for an album. Past Twats of XF.

Google sounds like a delicate bloody flower. I wouldn't give her house room.

Sigh. I knew it.

Did someone just shout ONLYDEYOUNG?

Frozen- they actually did let James Arthur on last year. And he tried to apologise for his awful tweets, and was rubbish. It was highly entertaining.

But not sign of Sam B yet

I SWEAR someone just shouted ONLEDEYUNG
I would marry that man.

What is the matter with Cheryl tonight

Y9 detention live another week, in which we won't learn either their names or nicknames.