X-FACTOR- Yes, it IS Friday- but tonight at 9pm - it's the start of BOOTCAMP.

[Raahh]

It doesn't feel like a week since X Factor was last on, does it? ...probably because it isn't.

So, though we haven't recovered from Sunday- here is the first BOOTCAMP!

Tonight, Cheryl is choosing her final act- she has the girl's category. And no, you're right, we haven't been told that yet. It's like a whole section of the process has been mysteriously ditched.

Expect musical chairs, crying, and much wailing about making decisions.

Here's the song list

LOLA SAUNDERS
Cece Peniston – Finally

CHLOE JASMINE
Backstreet Boys – I Want it That Way

SHANAY HOLMES
Emeli Sande – Read All About It

STEPHANIE NALA
Chris Isaak – Wicked Game

ORLA KEOGH
S.O.S. Band – Just Be Good to Me

MONICA MICHAEL
Olly Murs – Troublemaker

KAYLEIGH MANNERS
The Lumineers – Ho Hey

TEN SENAH
Beyonce – Love on Top

EMILY MIDDLEMAS
Ellie Goulding- Anything Could Happen

CHLOE O’GORMAN
Whitney Houston – I didn’t know my own strength

LAUREN PLATT
Michael Jackson – Man in the Mirror

KERRIANNE COVELL
Sara Bareilles – Gravity

Sadly, Chezza has avoided being Raign's mentor. Which would have been fun.

See y'all tonight.

9pm

They will say yes.

Bless Louis, swaying along like an drunk Uncle.

Poo squats

Ah Squoosh. But it's true isn't it? Who was the bloke with the Dead Gran a few years back?

Fuck he is well cute tho...:)

He's got that really annoying thing that happens when you're a bit too fat for your tights and the crotch inches kneeswards

Apparently Mel and Chez genuinely get on- which is not what the producers wanted. They really wanted blood.

Coldplay must make more royalties from Moving Reality Talent Show Moments than actual record sales.

Honest performance. And work your heart out.

Drink folks. Drink.

Meggings! Uh-mazing.

I imagined they'd hate each too, Raahh, TBF!

Janine, I actually saw a guy in meggings at Greenwich park today. He looked as if he had an overflowing diaper. To match his toddler probably.

What does Mel B know about talent anyway?

I believe Dead Gran Man was Chrissssssssstopher Maloney aka Nan Fucker.

I think this dirge was on a twishite soundtrack.

At least it's not Jar of Farts.

Aaah I miss Bootcamp too - but Simon was determined to change the format after the poor ratings last time.

Now look you lot, I'm an old woman of 70 years but even I know that those horrible pleated skirts (that I wore many moons ago) and trainers are top fashion - actually all flat shoes are IN - pool sliders, bit like the old Jesus sandals but with thicker soles. YUK. Can't imagine why these girls can't see how fat those skirts and trainers make them look, but hey it's the fashion. And don't get me started on those eyebrows.....!

Mind I like Lola even if she does look a frump in her trendy gear and she screamed that song last night as Simon said. She sounded like she was in pain but she can sing - she just messed up last night. I'm glad Cheryl gave her another chance.

My favourite is Lauren Platt.......................I got a bit confused reading most of the posts cus you weren't saying who you were talking about unless that's just me not understanding, on account of me age.......

Oh and come on .....Chloe can't possibly be pregnant - she has the tiniest little tum in a very clingy dress - I reckon she's being put in as she's quirky and will make good Tele.

WTf is he wearing?

I can't believe so many of these guys we didn't see in earlier shows, where have they come from..??

I'm warming to Mel. I know I shouldn't. Shoot me.

I'd have preferred to watch Mel B giving Tulisa the stink-eye

Looking forward to fat Robbie

I was in the shops today. The offerings looked like the ill-advised shite I wore as a teenager. Mini fucking kilts and little fluffy jumpers.

Who's Jeff?

this guy looks like a thumb.

I think Mel and Tulisa would have had a proper fight!