X FACTOR! 13/9- Tonight we are in the ARENA!! (spoilers, and all that, just in case...)

[Raahh]

Sadly, it's not the type of ARENA with lions and men in skimpy loin cloths.

Instead, we have contestants we have already forgotten, singing again (probably with a loud backing track and auto tune).

The acts will be singing:-

BRADLEY DENHOLM
Let Me Entertain You- Robbie Williams

BABALOLA EHIDIAMEN
It Will Rain – Bruno Mars

JAMES GRAHAM
I Can’t Make You Love Me – Bonnie Raitt/Adele

JALE ANTOR
Crazy Stupid Love – Cheryl ft. Tinie Tempah

THE COURTESANS
Delilah – Tom Jones

REBECCA JONES
Moon River – Andy Williams

CHARLIE BROWN
All I Do – Stevie Wonder

STEVIE TENNENT
Feeling Good – Michael Buble

PAUL AKISTER
Let’s Get It On – Marvin Gaye

LAUREN PLATT
How Will I know – Whitney Houston

INDIANA Ifill
I’m Going Down – Mary J Blige

LOU BOU
Pretty Hurts/Partition –Beyoncé

KIERON WINTER
Let her Go – Passenger

AMY CONNOLLEY
Greatest Love of All – Whitney Houston

We have Mickey Bubbles!

And some one daft enough to sing a Chezza song (which was bad enough to start with).

And not one but TWO Whitney songs!- We are being spoilt this week.

Bring and and and ear plugs.

Dammit Weasel, I'm so annoyed they won't say

Raah you dreadful cynic you're right

Oh my god. Mel B channeling Morticia Addams...

Mel B is unrecognisable in some shots-what has she done to herself?

Her dad has a fine pair.

Her parents don't look all that convincingly back together there.

I really do remember when this song had a tune

I am so bored. So, so bored.

Is that Mel B or Leigh Francis?

JL ad Whitney. Excellent.

Dad would rock a pleather T, for sure.

It was awful.

It wasn't current. It was just slow

Was that time about ten minutes before what we've just witnessed Noël?

Make it current = make it more boring.

And wear mourning nets.

Leave the slapping to Biffa, Mel.

But- by boot camp, she will be TOO YOUNG and be sent home to get older.

The stylists will have her shoes off in seconds. And they'll dust off the swing.

I got a free purple eyeliner in Debenhams this week ... I'm confused is it meant to go on my eyes or lips?

Leigh Bowery more like, Boffers

I kind of...vaguely...sort of... ie not really at all knew of Mel B 'back in the day'. She was a bit skanky, but generous in a 'ere 'ave a fag' kind of way. And very beautiful to look at

It's meant to go in the bin, hot.

Did you hear what they said? THIRTEENTH OF DECEMBER for the final. That will mean I will have spent over a day of 2014 watching this shite.
I don't think I'm strong enough.

sent home to get older

I hate it when they steal the weans shoes, the bastards.

ell she is going to be 'the wistful one' this year then