Masterchef forrin ways: in which we take the fig lorry to Barcelona

[CalamitouslyWrong]

A new thread for the final.

Are you Team Jack or Team Ping? I'm assuming no one is a Team Luke.

The dubbing on the woman is particularly hilarious

Mandarin potato is WRONG.

Stealth-boast-of-my-own warning.

DH took me to Waterside Inn for my 40th a few years ago. DH somehow organised it that Alain Roux invited us into his kitchen and gave us a full tour. Unbelievable. Such a gentleman and such an experience. The meal afterwards was just amazing (of course). I still can't believe it happened!

And who should be sitting at the next table but Heston Blumenthal and his family, celebrating his birthday.

It's something I will never forget. Well, obviously!

The tangerine potato looks so wrong

Oh dear that looks awful. Clementine and potatoes. My daughter likes quavers but I wouldn't serve them for tea.

That sounds amazing Hearts!

Ping is clever isn't she?
She knew exactly what she was doing when she made up recounted that story of love that inspired the dish.

Degrease?

This is all a bit rubbish because they're just saying nice things - nobody is being critical.

I'm liking the sound of beans on toast after this episode, actually

Pretty cool hearts!

ooh but they did like Pings..

The dubbing is like a bad 70s porn film.

I have no swanky restaurant/sleb chef stories. Just anecdotes of colouring in maps.

Blimey hearts!!!

Poor ping, standing in the wind saying inane things for the camera.

Fabulous Hearts

DH just googled "worlds greatest chef" and came up with Gordon Ramsey.

I'm liking jack. But think ping will win.

Ooh, ooh, I've got one!

Brian Turner (he of This Morning fame) once served me in his own restaurant. The food was rubbish, btw.

Yeah, I know, you're all well jel.

Oh dear magi.

Shall I sign dd up for junior master chef? She can cook pasta and pesto.

Hasta manãna!

It's the final - bring and poncey snacks...

don't feel bad Calam, my onion rings have been put in their place with Hearts story

Does sound amazing though Hearts

Gordon Ramsay?

More like 'world's greatest forehead crease'.

Well, we can look forward to more airs, foams and disgusting things in martini glasses tomorrow, I guess