Musketeers Wenchnet Sexy Sundays part II

[MalcolmTuckersMistress]

WENCHES COME HITHER! We have made it to part two. No banning nor messages deleted. Let's try and keep it going!

The rules are:

SHARE THEM
PLEASE RINSE AND RETURN THEM
ALL DAMAGES ARE TO BE PAID FOR
LEAVE THEM IN THE CONDITION THEY WERE WHEN YOU FOUND THEM

Anyone who has been found to disregard these rules will be relegated to King Louis' plaything. And let's be honest, he wouldn't know what the hell to do with a Wenches Purse.

Please take heed upon these warnings. Your cooperation is much appreciated.

Madame Tucker's Mistress.

Link to part one

(Let's Finnish them off in there first ooooh eeeer!)

I spotted a glaring error in the script last night.

I was 16. We were going to get married. She changed her mind.

Sorry, what? She changed her mind? I sooooooo don't think so.

SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX

My ovaries are like plasma balls this morning.

Can I change my rankings on the back of last nights episode?

I'm bored of seeing Mr Grumpy Chops mooching around with a face like a slapped arse. Get a bloody grip man, it's been 5 years already

Also, D'artagnan's hair moved a little bit last night so he's creeping up the ranking to 3rd place

1. Aramis
2. Athos
3. D'artagnan

me have me HAVE ME! I don't care if you kill me because it'll be worth it. Please just HAVE ME

Aramis at 16 probably was spotty and gangly . No surprise she changed her mind

Or he could have been tickly and feathery and foreplayish?! Perhaps this is something they thankfully loose when they become Musketeers. I think Traville would insist that's not how to engage with a wench. Wenches like FILTH. BAAAHAAAHAAAAAA!

You can tell when Richelieu has his fake moustache on though. FUCKING DOCTOR WHO! Ruined everything.

What did I tell you eh? Eh? Did I not say that Aramis was the best and that he's mine ?

I'm not worried. You'll all be back on Athos next week

I could've seen his potential at 16. You have to play the long game

Right, I'm off to work. See you all this evening.

That's the real mustache. Poor PC had it at some public engagements.

I doubt he would shave it off in the meantime. It must take a while to cultivate

Yeah that lat one is the real one but the one before was obviously the fake one! I wish I had the job of stroking his perfect older man face carefully glueing it on and touching his hair. sigh

He had to shave it off for that Doctor Who reveal show then go back and finish filming!

Moanin' Wenches!

Well I only made it halfway through last night as was v. tired by time got to watch it

But... I. Have. To. Say.... WOW! Thought everything was 100 times better than previous weeks. The acting was great - King fab as discussed. Lots of lovely shots of the boys as discussed. The beautiful scenery etc etc. I LOVED IT!!

Really sad story too. I was at the baby being carried in that moses cage. (yeah cos that lid'll stop him from dropping to the bottom like a stone!) Every time the horses hooves hit the ground I winced. And the story about the husband made me very . I was cursing at the screen and had to remind myself that, although this kind of prejudice no doubt took place, what I was watching, was actually a work of fiction!

There was so much to drool over. I agree there were a few good one liners too. Can't wait to dissect it via the medium of links!

So, in light of last nights episode, I have made up my mind, and decided to publish my new list....

Shag: Aramis
Snog: Constance
Marry: Athos - you lot dumping him because of moods are obviously very shallow, and DO NOT DESERVE him!

Would still prefer a mass great orgy. And I wouldn't turn Richelieu down if it was that or die, but I have come to my senses now. He just doesn't do it for me. On the whole (oo er!)

I didn't think it was possible, but I'm even more obsessed interested now.

Have a great day y'all!

I think I just made my cleanest post to date

Cocks and meat swords and riding ragged and shags, lots of shags.

Ah! That's better

Will they have to kill Richelieu off then?

Hey, I never said I wasn't fickle!

I might switch back to Athos next week - it looks like he's getting some bedroom action, it might cheer him up for a little while

Apart from the Cardinal, any of them would do to be quite honest

And the king, obvs

I don't know what they're going to do to him. I think it depends how true they are to the story. I read an interview stating that the writers didn't know Capaldi was going for Who, but I suspect that's not entirely true...I think he kneww for a good long while he had that gig!

Richelieu is such a huge part of the whole legend. He's the ultimate bad guy! I suppose after this series they'll just have to make it up a bit more! I hope they don't kill him off but then again perhaps it would be the best way for him to go and get shagged to death by a horny wench?

I have one concern though HOW OLD IS PORTHOS? there is no info on his age at all he must be very new! I look at D'Artagnan who is 23 and started his stuff in 2009 but Porthos started in 2011 so he could be younger and just 21?!?

And do you know another thing I like about it? No gruesome bloodshed! Well we see the odd stabbing but nothing ever gets cut off and no insides get ripped out and there's very little blood.

Oh Stinklbell, cardinal is vadge-twitchingly sexual! Athos a close second.

God I loved that, Aramis - those eyes, the hedge-jumping. His mouth.

And actually the sexiest bit was when he said 'you got this?' to Constance and stood they rocking the baby while she fought the villain. What a man.

D'Artagnan grew on me last night, as did the Cardinal which I never thought I would say.

Athos - clipped tones combined with the smile and lovely swagger

Athos has such a fucking SEXY voice. And his eyes...oh his eyes and the lines!

No. Sorry Stinkbell. Too late. Did you not get the memo? Orders for musketeers had to be in by 9 a.m

Condolences