THE VOICE!- Ist February- 7.10pm - the auditions plod on...

[Raahh]

Apparently there are 2 sets of twins this week- which will totally blow S'Tom's mind, I'm sure. After all, he's already trotted out his favourite 'I thought you were a woman, boyo' line. It doesn't take much to confuse him.

And Our favourite Antipodean Pop pixie gets serious- by wearing specs.

Reality song contests don't get much worse better than this!

I have vodka. And dry roasted peanut.

Why are all the judges looking at each other. I think if it looks like will is interested then someone will turn.

She's giein' it laldy, as the Glaswegians would say. Possibly.

Whaaat!

PleaseGod my ears please stop

Tom likes pussies. I think she should go with him.

She sounds like she should be doing shows in Butlins.

The judges just copied each other, what a fix.

Ive never heard that song before

She might have been givin it laldy, but she'd've been better giving one note laldy.

Somebody needs to ask the others if Bill put his hand in the fire, would they follow him?

There's a case to be made for total immolation, mind.

I think she will pick tom. He looks the least regretful.

Those skater dresses are awful if you are over a certain age & weight

Am I hearing something else? Thought she was club singer ish. Mind you I can't even sing 'happy birthday' in tune.

The wardrobe lady is rubbing her hands with glee, the nylon wrap dresses are coming out of the carrier bags as we speak.

If bill thought they'd copy him, he'd fake jumping in the fire and pull back at the last second to watch the rest of them burn.

Oh will he won't he doesn't want her

Just realised my joke - one note only.

Pure hilarity.

To be fair, Happy Birthday is a shit song to sound good at. Even Marilyn needed to get pissed to try.

Coco- trust me- if you've watched any of these shows before (and you have) you will have heard it. But it is boring and shit.

And was sung by a 7 year old, or something else wildly inappropriate on BGT.

She looks like the woman who sang ' I love to love' < shows age >

I don't think any of us are ignoring her gut, to be fair.

Her eyelashes look horrible. Spider leggy.

Navada i love that song!

Bill's skirt is fab!

Hester- very good