X Factor FINAL: Kick NF in The Baubles, Give Shitz Her Meds, Let's Vote for Chowmein or Pinhead

[FellowshipOfFestiveFellows]

I would like to see NF do please release me, with Borelow. Just to be ironic

Evening ladies

I'm tea and After eight handed, so good to go..

Flaming sofa ads.

Two on the trot.

Who's buying all these sofas with the massive big round seat on them anyway?

I want a new sofa, DH won't let me!

Oh good, Emile Sande. We've not heard much from her recently...

Tonight's show is two hours long!

Oi Boffles. They'll Go Home in a VT, won't they? Ddid Liverpool turn out for NanFucker? Did you?

dH just walked in and said 'so, two songs from Nanfucker then?' We have mumsnetted him!

HERE WE GO!!!

People with very very large bums? Katie

Katie those sofas are farcking awful aren't they?

Emeli Sande, the most overworked article since Kerry Katona's nose retired.

Oh, Sue- Nanfucker took a ferry across the mersey,and everything. Sadly,it didn't sink.

DS just called him Nanfucker.

We've already had waaaaaay too many shots of the fuckers doing the Praying Hands
Stoppit.

So is one act going tonight then?

how old is your ds Liney-

Is Dermot allowed to win it?

no.

just no.

Oh, god I've been up since 4am, I can't stay awake until 10 unless I find whatever Shitz gets hold of sharpish.

I would love it if they would set up a live link between the studio and Simon Cowell's house as the results are read out- just to see his face defy the botox if Nanfucker wins.

Cringe

Did h? 'cross the Merseeeeee?

I would like him to win, then be beaten by the Hillsborough song. To show what L'pool think of him

Wtf is Dermie at? twat.

Oh he's 14, don't worry about him. Urban youth and all that.

Hurrah! Here we go...

Do have a soft spot for Dermot dancing

I can't believe it's come to this. 100 years ago, when this series first started, we were all bright eyed and bushy-tailed, confident there would be some talent. We're left with NanFucker, Slightly Too Weird Guy and At Least He Can Sing A Bit Guy. Tragic.

Why the atual fuck did they
a) have that cringeworthy Britney lookalike on
b) think we are all daft and don't know Louis is a lover of the pork?