CBeebies Telly Totty... Fess-up!

[AbiSimone]

What's wrong with me... I think I have been subjected to far too much CBeebies television, and not enough adult conversation! Of late, I have found myself developing a crush for one of the presenters: Andy Day. My LO idolises him, especially his latest programme, and I must confess he's become my guilty pleasure. Am I alone?

Still don't believe you fabsi

goes to buy giant joint of pork

No!

I have never encountered Justin in the flesh.

I would love to, most certainly!

I'd discreetly bend over him and slip my number in his pocket.

Nope, never had a close encounter either.

mad panic

What if he doesn't actually exist outside of Cbeebies!?! What if he is a myth, an urbane legend!?! WHAT WILL I DO!?!

whispers to STACKING

she's well in denial...

whispers back to horsey

She so is

I was for a while.

Oh no.

What if he doesn't really exist?

feels tearful

But - all the same...
He's very good in my imagination.

Lol! When he visited ds school and we got the chance to say hi i didnt think much of him tbh. My opinion of him was lots better before i met him. Although, i will say!! Loads of mums were hugging him and all over him. I didnt but my ds friends mum was like i could imagine you two to be! Cant see the attraction, but each to there own!

Ooo, no.

I would definitely do something more tasteful than hugging him.

I'd wear something sexy and revealing - to catch his naughty little eye.

And then once I'd caught his eye, I'd catwalk towards him, push my breasts into his chest and whisper something that one could never repeat here on mumsnet.

For fear of being removed.

hasn't thought about this scenario at all

Lmfao!! STS, i could swear you are him!! Your really justin telling us what he wants in a woman!!! Now THAT would be bloody brilliant!

fabsi

My dear...

Honestly I'm not.

I merely need a Tumble look-a-like lovely man and a good shagging good night out!

I have my first date in 2 and a half years on Saturday night!

gulp

head to Am I Being Unreasonable thread to see if it's unreasonable to expect the man in question to do me on our first date

See you there

(The thread I mean, not the date)

Lol!!! To funny!!! Good luck with the date! By the sounds of it, you dont need it tho! Sounds like he's in for a treat. Does he look like justin? Lol!

Actually fabsi

He doesn't.

But on the bright side - I have the most amazing imagination

I've just read on facebook that there's a game you can play on your mobile where you can tickle Justin.

Where do I find this!?

I've always had that urge.

ohh good luck for Sat! I haven't had a date in flipping years either!

I wouldn't be hugging him, oh no. I'd be there with a dodgy tranny (Van, not man) with blacked out windows, a length of chain and a blindfold. Then I'd sashey up to him (because in a fantasy, i can sashey without A) looking like a prat and B) falling over) and whisper in his ear
'whats your biggest fantasy...' or alternatively, 'whats your worst nightmare...'. We'll see how the sasheying goes.

Then I'd steal him by knocking him (gently) over the nogging with a BIG pork and apple sausage and keep him locked up in my basement (maybe garage, i don't actually have a basement but i think its traditional to have one in kidnappings) as my sex slave.

(i haven't thought about it either)

could this be why i don't have dates!?

Oh horsey

I was literally giggling all the way through that!

Hysterical!

Love the sex slave idea.

He'd make the most divine slave.

Oh yes.

And thank you for the well wishes.

Nervous about being rusty

But definitely need a good shafting night out!

You need a good tumble! You'll be fine, nothing a bit of oil won't sort...!

Rest assured...

I will be thinking of a good tumble!

your going to be thinking its justin shafting you when its this other guy??? Pure boakage!! Positives of this thread, I've lost weight from all the laughing and the fact that the whole idea puts me off me grub!! Bleurghhhhhhh

I've heard Justin is bringing out an adult version of his album hands up

It will be renamed

Legs up

The songs are as follow....

Legs up
The hokey pokey
The sun has got a hard on
The dirty duke of york
Tits shoulders muff and toes
Who's afraid of the big hard knob
The ejaculating policeman
Oh I do like to be beside the semen
If you're horny and you know it
Here we go round the fanny bush
Ten in a bed (say no more!)

I really do have too much time on my hands

goes to get a life

Lmao!! STS, thats soooooo funny! (Lmfao @ the sun has got a hard on, hip hip hip hooray! The sun has got a hard on and hes coming out to play)

LOVE it stacking!

Fabsi, for someone who professes to feel sick at the idea of Justins' man meat, you spend alot of time on this thread....

DENIAL!!!!

I just think its a really funny thread!!! I do admit i wish I did fancy justin so i could join in with the banter!! Bloody funny. Equally funny that you fancy him aswell!

It is most definitely DENIAL fabsi

Just let it go...

We all know, deep down -
He'd be a fantastic shag with a massive man piece.

I bet he's a right screamer too.

Dead right. I bet he screams like a welsh choirboy.

Go on Fabsi, just shut your eyes for a minute and picture Justin porking away with his massive man meat... you can even include the spotty bag somewhere if you like.

aside to stacking
That'll do the trick!

rubs thighs at the thought of Justin porking away

So wrong that the thought of Justin with his trousers round his ankles makes me want to shag a random bloke hot.

It always will be wrong fabsi

I bet he'd be right gronaer and moaner.

worries as the thoughts become more perverted

Gin tonight me-thinks!

Gronaer?

wonders if he makes this noise before he blows his man muscle