Louis Theroux... Anyone watching? Extreme Love - Autism

[mrspink27]

Think it may go one of two ways... watching with interest... anyone else?

I thought Theroux conclusion and handling was lovely. I always felt America has very wierd unpleasent attitudes to autism, but it seems from this program they also have absolutely no understanding of sensory issues...

I heart Nicky. Poor lad being so anxious though. Brian pretty cool - felt a bit sad that it seems like no-one is doing anything about teaching him - he seemed to have some good basic skills, shame he couldn't access the resources of a school like that.

LT seemed more knowledgable about ASD than I'd thought he'd be. Except that he kept asking them open-ended abstract questions like "how are you" - then was surprised that a 6 year old girl with autism walked straight past him.

But yes agree that the focus on violence/arson is hardly representative.

And not sure about the comments about being in awe of parents, and surprised at the fact we love our children We're not special, just ordinary parents thrown a curveball. What are we meant to do? Throw them out when they get a diagnosis?? You either cope or you don't.

I had a similar reaction to the awesome parents thing at the end.

My comment to dh was "Well yes, we do all that because they are our children first and foremost and we love them without question. The Autism is a part of who they are, but it's not the whole story. Loving them isn't a choice we make, it's fundamental to them being our child and us being their parent, same as it is for any parent/child relationship."

Not all that eloquent, I grant you, but hopefully you get the gist. [should have been in bed hours ago emoticon]

Wonder why he felt the need to ask every parent, if they could take away the autism, would they?

Yes moose agree. The bit where he asked one of the parents if they loved their child was the bit that got me. Maybe he said was it hard to love their child, but even so, what kind of question is that?!

There was also the element of "phew, glad I'm out of there" - there but for the grace of god...

But actually not as bad as I'd thought. Not quite sure what the point of the programme was though

I grew up with a lad who was indeed thrown out by his parents. His grandparents took him on. So yes this can happen. Now his gp's are gone and he is in residential care with his aunt and uncle taking him as and when they can. They both work full time and he is based where his job tells him.

I actually really enjoyed LT tonight, I found it really interesting that he didn't just cover one "type" ( for want of a better word) of ASD child but tried to show a few different children an their parents.

I really loved Nicky! he was just so sweet!

I really liked the school that had the street, i loved the idea that yes these kids may be ASD, but they are still valuable and need daily skills, don't write then off!

Obviously edited, but I bought well done.

I know what you meen bialy, I was left with an 'oh, it's finished - and the point was?' kind of feeling as well, but I wondered if that was because it was a sort of 'day in the life of' documentary, portraying life for those families and children, rather than because it was trying to drive home any one particular point.

I liked the programme because it showed the more severe end of the spectrum too, usually this type of programme focuses on higher functioning people with asd, in fact can't think of any i've seen in the past that's showed the more severe of the spectrum and certainly non that have featured violent, non verbal children/adults.

I think the point of the programme was in its title; its about love.

Some inspiring parents, and amazing youngsters. But blimey their lives were tough

I don't think it shouldn't have shown the more severe end of the spectrum or the violence/behaviour issues, but felt that in the beginning it seemed like that was all it was going to focus on.

Just realised I am on two threads about this and have said on the other one, but not on this, that I commented too soon on that and actually think it improved as it went on.

You see that doesn't sit well with me though Holly, the title I mean. Why is it any more extreme to love a child with Autism than it is to love any other child?

I have 3 dcs, two are nt, one has ASD. They all have their own challenges in terms of parenting and they all have something that makes them special, but I love them all the same and whilst life with a child who has Autism certainly comes with plenty of challenges, it's no harder for me to love ds1 than it is for me to love his brother and sister.

Mind you, I could completely have missed the point, as I am ridiculously tired. Probably should've waited until tomorrow and watched it on catch-up tv.

I took extreme in the context of the programe to mean beyond the norm or of high intensity. meaning that loving a child with autism or relative with demntia ( as next weeks program is on) as out of the norms of having a caring role for any other child or relative who do not have autism, dementia etc. does that even make sence, however Im also aware extreme has many more meanings which may also be a motive in the choice of the title.

Mmm, what festi said.

Some parents don't cope though and some parents would want to take the autism away. Those of you here obviously love your children very much and would do anything for them but there is a minority out there who don't. I think the question he asked were things that people who do not have autistic children would wonder. I also think a lot of people wouldn't understand that if you took the autism away then that wouldn't be the child that you love so much.

Although maybe that's because theres a lack of understanding and support to help parent who don't cope well (thinking too much about this as I'm up doing the night feed).

I can see this is a long thread and i havnt read it all , I thought the programme was really interesting i have no experience with autism although a familiy memeber has aspergers so i know a little
, I really enjoy L T his documentarys are always funny interesting and easy to watch , I think they were in america because A he does a lot of his programes in the U S because he does the extreme and B he was also in that fab school i dont think we have schools like this in our country , I now have a better understanding of what parents go through with children with autism , but i thought it was quite a positive programme too , I think the boy being restrained by his parents was hard to watch but she wanted us to see what went on with her son ,

I don't know much about autism but can now understand why parents of autistic children get stabby when some idiot suggests all these children need is a better diet, more exercise and firm discipline.

I appreciated how honest the parents were, the grief and anger and exhaustion.

I love my dd1 without question. I have fought (and will fight for evermore) for her basic rights - a suitable education, healthcare, to prove to the 'professionals' that she is capable of learning , and so on.

I woudl still, without hesitation, take her autism away if I could.

I would take away her confusion, and her anxiety; I woudl take away the fears she has about everyday life, and the irrational phobias and compulsions; I would take away her tics and echolalia (repetitive language).

this does not mean I love her any less, nor that I have not accepted her for who she is. we go everywhere and do everything possible, and will never hide away of deny her needs or issues, but I would make her life better for her if I could, and part of that would be to take away ehr autism.

I have not yet watched the programme - I was out last night - but dd1 attends an ABA school (the style of school featured in the programme). it took us 3 years of fighting the LA, and taking them to court, to get them to fund this for her.

MrsJay - sorry, I have just read your post.

there are ABA (Applied Behavioural Analysis) schools in the UK. several of them. they are incredibly hard to get into, as to get the LA to fund the place is nigh on impossible. it took us nearly 3 years (a Statement of Educational Needs shoudl be issued within 6 months), and necessitated several house moves, a period of funding the (eyewateringly expensive) school ourselves, and engaging a legal team and private professionals to write reports on dd1. as well as running a home programme, with consultants and tutors, to prove' that dd1 was able to learn. altogether it probably cost us not far short of £40k. we are lucky that we could (with a lot of financial juggling) afford that. most people cannot.

Ambitious About Autism (formerly Treehouse school, in London) is the longest running ABA school in the Uk - google them (soory, am on phone so cannot link easily) and there is a host of information on the website. there are another 5 or so that I can easily name off the top of my head, mostly in the South East, but sadly they are few and far between.

I think you are very honest silver Most parents want their children's lives to be as easy and stress free as possible autistic or not. That is natural surely? I found it fascinating and very moving and gave me a real insight into autim that I don't think I really grasped before. It is important to have more info like this 'out there' to educate the innocent masses like me. I know some of the SN posters get tired with the education line but really what else is there. This show had a huge impact on us so thats 3 people better aware of teh reality of SN than before it. I take my hat off to all of you and I loved Nicky too and noticed that when he felt he had a job (co teacher) he seemed more confident and calm. Also loved him and his admiration for Louis' fame

I agree with festi.
The Mum of the twins commented on how hard it was to do everything for your children for 8 years and get nothing back from them - no smiles or hugs, and it was that long before one said "Mommy". I think that's what they mean about the love being 'extreme'. Most love is reciprocated. In some cases, people with ASD can't "give back" the love, and that must be hard on anyone - parent of a child with ASD or spouse or child of the people in next week's programme about dementia.

as i said i dont know much about autism and I have just read your daughter goes to a school like this although after a long fight , a local high school has an autism unit which is supposed to be excellent , but i just thought the school was amazing I did have a lump in my throat watching it the children and young adults were all unique ( i dont mean that patronising ) but some people think or autism and assume children are shut off from everything , I dont know what its like to be a parent of an autistic child , I take my hat off to you all who have autistic children .

thanks noddy

the whole 'take away autism' is a contentious issue. some people do see it (since autism is so pervasive) as a parent wanting a different child. it is not so black and white, I don't think.

dd1 would still be dd1 if she could talk to me fluently (she has a severe language disorder); she would still be dd1 if she didn't have the high levels of anxiety she has about various things. she is not the sum of her condition, in other words - she is funny, and quirky, and has a wicked sense of humour. she (as in the essence of her) would not change, and has not changed over the years that we have worked with her and improved her life immeasurably.

but I do understand why people say 'no I woudln't change it' - it can be so easy to take saying 'yes' as a rejection of the child, in a way.

I found it interesting, I work with children with severve behavioural problems, much of the are on the spectrum.

I am very jealous of the corridor made to look like a high street

mrsjay - I didn't know anythign about autism beofre I had dd1 either . and what little I thought I knew was complete bollocks, I now find! still, there's nothing like learning on the job