Eastenders Baby Death Storyline

[deemented]

Once again, no one can live happily ever after

Ronnie's baby James, dies and she puts his body in Kat and Alfies son's crib, and steals their baby boy, Tommy.

Why oh why oh why do scriptwriters insist on portraying bereaved parents - mothers especially - as mad and deranged??? Maybe it's because they can't begin to imagine how awful the death of a child is, but really, whilst we are mad with grief, it is our own child that we want back, not someone else's stolen child. When are scriptwriters ever going to understand that?

Still, it'll be a riveting watch, no doubt.

I think the SIDs part would have been all right if handled sensitively, which would not have involved making it the huge, viewer-pulling-in story of the year. Adding the swapping though just takes away any help the storyline could possibly be to people with guidelines etc. because it's just so ridiculous.

I'm sure she has children though, so I wonder whether that made it harder for her to act that scene which was why it seemed unrealistic?

Sungirl I'm staggered at the outdated views that surround cot death.

I was guilty of thinking it would never happen to my DS who was breastfed, overdue, born in a non-smoking household, was on the 90th centile. The picture of health.

Cot Death strikes randomly and that is the horror of it.

Sungirltan's friend was speaking from her own experience. That's not evidence or anything like but it is obviously her observation that she's seen more SIDS deaths in formula fed babies. We may not like that view - we may not believe it empirically - but it's her perception based on her experience and she has a right to that view.

I too have a dear friend whose daughter died at a week old, breast fed, non smoking household, sleeping in the same room as mum etc etc. It strikes randomly.

sungirl "formula fed, always are"??

tsk.tsk. really.

Totally agree that the Ee storyline is horrendous. It absolutely leaves me cold. Its like depicting a baby's death was not horrifying enough for them, they have to take it to the next level re. 'the swap'.

I think it will turn a lot of people off Ee tbh. I have not had a personal experience of losing a child (apart from an early miscarriage which was heartbreaking), but have lost a sister to cot death. I shudder to think of how the Ee storyline would upset my mother - and thank god she doesn't watch such tripe.

Much love to all those bereaved parents who have been further saddened by this terrible storyline and surrounding media hype. And I wish a huge empathy transplant to those few on this thread who can't seem to imagine why this is a step too far.

sungirltan - I assume your intention was to raise awareness that breast-feeding may be able to offer a degree of protection in SIDS ( amongst many other factors )
I think it's good of you to apologise.

I think it was a more reasonable effort at raising awareness than that demonstrated in the EE script !

But there are risk factors, aren't there - it's not completely random. For example, the back to sleep campaign corresponded with a fall in the rate of cot deaths - but sadly didn't eradicate them completely.

Orangeflutie, I am very sorry about your son.

is sungirltan a writer for EE as she is writing crap as well

2shoes - if thats the most offensive thing you have read on mn then you are doing well.

(rolls eyes)

No fan of EE but this was on while I was at my sister's yesterday.

The only good thing about it was it was so badly acted it didn't seem real at all and was less upsetting than it could have been.

I think the idea is that Ronnie was already mentally unstable and this has tipped her over the edge, rather then stealing someone else's baby being a normal response to grief.

It is a horrible storyline though, and gratuitously upsetting for a lot of people.

emmabemma _ yes you right there are: smoking, front sleeping, low birth weight etc. there are also seasonal and socio economic risks. sids is an umbrella term for infant death and no an actual disease or act of god or whatever you want to call a random event.

I too will not be watching EE. I had a miscarriage at 20 weeks which was heartbreaking. To use the death of a baby as big viewing figures tv makes me cry!

It is a storyline dealing with a very distressing subject, but it is the way in which it is being handled that is wrong.
It is absolutely incredible to me that a mother would not realise that her baby had been swapped. I mean, WTF??? .

It's just ridiculous, or am I being unreasonable?
If I am being reasonable, then what they are portraying here- a mother unable to realise baby had been swapped- is ridiculous.
Even though it is a soap, it should have some semblance to reality!

I actually think Baccus post is the most vile insensitive post I have ever read.

IPoB the only "insane things that they do" is carry on being civil human beings and carrying on going forward with their lives .
That is the most nuts thing I have done since my son died .

Nodding and smiling and fucking idiots in the street telling me they know how I feel because their cat died . That is insane .

If being grown up about all this means being devoid of all emotion then I will happily stay in my insane and childish bubble for now thanks .

I complained about this stupid storyline a month or so ago and they haven't even had the decency to reply to me or many others ,

sungirltan - I'm no expert but I understood SIDS is a syndrome - not fully understood as yet - but possibly involving irregularities in a babies breathing. Not purely an umbrella term for infant death. Infants could certainly die of other causes.

A little baby girl who would have been my Auntie died, aged a few months old, over 70 years ago - and is still missed.

Apart from the fact that according to EEs writers all babies look the same therefore parents can't tell them apart & a women has no maternal attachment to her own baby, any baby will do. They are also painting the usual view of mental illness. I think I might go pop in a complaint about this one.

Travelling, someone actually said that to you? That is quite a bizarre thing to say, not insensitive just incredibly stupid. I lost my father when I was young and a beautiful friend however I cannot even conceive of how it must feel to lose a child, in fact I don't want to. It therefore baffles me that someone could believe after losing a cat that they understand your grief.

Bacchus Most people who begin a sentence with sorry, aren't actually sorry. Storylines like this are going to bring out feelings - particularly from people who have been affected by such issues. To reduce these people to 'mummy dearests floating around in babyland' is grossly offensive and insensitive.

Soaps use hot button issues to create drama - that's how it is. I have chosen not to watch it because I know it is upsetting, but I don't expect soaps to behave like public information services.

What is galling is when they defend their decision to include such storylines as exercises in awareness raising, when they blatantly are not. They get things wrong all the time.

vagola they did indeed , I also had a friend who tried to compare my 14 mth old son dying with her boyfriend leaving her .

We all have ridiculous stories along the same lines , but generally we smile and nod and realise that people don't know what the hell to say to us and we end up putting our arms around them and making them feel better .

That is the insanity .

Yes, PrincessBoo, the beeb are such hypocrites, aren't they?
All that guff about, 'If you or anyone else has been affected by this storyline...' they say at the end of a distressing episode with a telephone number to call.
Yes, we've ALL failed to recognise our children have been swapped. Happens all the time.

Forgive me please for copying and pasting my response to this directly over from my blog. I've not got the energy to type why it is so upsetting again, but was enraged about the sensationalising of baby death a few days ago and that why I blogged about it then. Bachus post has already been deleted, but I get the picture of what has been said....

...As of today we?ve stopped watching Eastenders for the foreseeable future. Tonight Ronnie is in labour which means the dead baby storyline is almost upon us. We can?t watch it, it is too close and too raw, we?re not strong enough to relive the early days after Belle?s death on a television screen.

That is not the only reason we cannot watch it though. We?ve turned it off because we already know how the storyline is going to pan out. Ronnie is going to swap her dead child for Kat?s newborn.

I?m not against a storyline focussing on baby death; handled sensitively I think it would?ve been the perfect avenue for opening people?s eyes to how life really is for a grieving Mummy and Daddy. But instead, Eastenders have chosen to go with the biggest, unrealistic, shock impact dramatization possible.

No, not surprising, to them it is all about the ratings ? and this storyline will probably bring in the ratings (although I know many other people, not just bereaved Mummy?s who are turning it off too). But wouldn?t it have been nice, if just for once they had thought beyond that, and used their power for good. I just wish they understood the influence they are able to have, it is quite a huge responsibility really. I?m sure they will say they consulted with bereaved parents, talked to baby death charities in their research but I, and many other think they have come to the wrong conclusion.

No mother I have ?met? on this horrific journey thought to just swap their baby for a different one to make it all better. I?m sure in the tiniest minority of cases it has probably happened, but in real life 99.9% of mothers only want THEIR child. The thought of stealing someone else?s baby didn?t even enter their heads. I don?t want anyone else?s baby, I want Anabelle. I?ve always wanted Anabelle.

Still, unless I can block it out, or I am prepared; sometimes I can barely be in the same vicinity as another baby without nearing panic attack stages and in 6 months I have not been able to hold another baby. I don?t want to hold another baby, I want to hold Anabelle. The baby isn?t and can?t be Anabelle, so just keep it away from me, please don?t expect me to hold it. The last baby I held was my own, and it is staying that way until another of our own comes along.

But I digress, what is worse is that apparently Kat is not even going to notice that the babies have been swapped! What mother does not know what her own baby looks like? Despite what people may say babies do not look all the same and parents know their children. They can tell them apart from anyone else. From the moment Anabelle was born her face was forever imprinted on us. Both of us, Jon and I, we know what our daughter looks like. If she was here, I would know if another baby had been put in her cot in her place. It sounds like the storyline is going to drag on for the duration with Kat thinking she has lost her baby, and Ronnie raising Kats as her own.
I can?t watch it. Instead of portraying the reality of baby death they?ve decided to show a bereaved mother in a very poor light. And so everyone, for the record; bereaved Mummy does not equal nutter .

Of course until it is aired we cannot say for definite how it will be portrayed. But if the spoilers are anything to go by Eastenders and BBC1 should be ashamed of themselves....

That is the reality. Not some cheap portrayal on EE.

FSIDs has also given it a mention on their site - fsid.org.uk/Page.aspx?pid=864 They do not endorse this plot.

MrsDevere I agree with every word you said.

I know how you feel because my cat/dog/hamster died last week is not an uncommon statement.

Really, it has been said to a fair few friends of mine. When chosing a new kitten and wondering what I should call it, the owner said 'you should name it DD!' How appropriate to name a cat after my DD six months after she died. How it would soften the blow, what a delight to call her in for her Whiskas of an evening, and NOT at all confusing for her DD's little brother who was 3 at the time

Bereaved parents are often accused of being over sensitive (even on MNs) and that 'people are just trying to be nice, give them a break'. Ironically bereaved parents are the ones who seem to spend most of their days giving people a break regardless of the crap they come out with.

Because its up to us not to upset anyone isnt it?