Eastenders Baby Death Storyline

[deemented]

Once again, no one can live happily ever after

Ronnie's baby James, dies and she puts his body in Kat and Alfies son's crib, and steals their baby boy, Tommy.

Why oh why oh why do scriptwriters insist on portraying bereaved parents - mothers especially - as mad and deranged??? Maybe it's because they can't begin to imagine how awful the death of a child is, but really, whilst we are mad with grief, it is our own child that we want back, not someone else's stolen child. When are scriptwriters ever going to understand that?

Still, it'll be a riveting watch, no doubt.

Confuddled, I think your post was lovely.

Please note that the line below, could have been written differently, as much as you want empathy for your life trauma, please bear in mind others have painfull trauma's also, please do not get into competing for the worst trauma it is not good for you or for others.

You can not compare ANY "sad" life event to losing a baby, it just doesn't work like that

Unless you have beeen victim to every trauma possible you can't compare and compete!

I am sorry for you loss and wish you well.

Please accept my sincere apologies I never intended to insult any of the netmums. I don't agree with you but appreciate your point of view. I do think people should be able to comment without being attack, good luck.

Nick you are on Mumsnet.

Opps sorry DOH!

Nice comment.

Because this is just the same as bf v ff. sahm v wms and p&c parking spaces isnt it

FFS just read some of the pages, its all there. Its not as if you are the first person to say 'you could turn it off you know' do you really think that is original?

Do you think were would have put ourselves throught the stress of telling potentially hostile strangers about how lives if it didnt matter to us?

I have been watching EE since the beginning. I LIVE in the bleedin East End! There have been loads of storyline that have made me wince but nothing like this. Its not as if its the first time TV had made mistakes and had to make changes is it? There is uproar over lots of things - but we are belittled and insulted because we dare to say 'this doesnt happen and you have done damage'

See I am working class and fairly poorly educated. I alwasy thought that the middle classes bought up their kids to stand up for what they belived in, to assert themselves. To make waves.

Yet here we are on Mumsnet being told yet again to just leave it and not make such a fuss.

Unless you cant get your kid into the school of your choice or horrors someone wants to allow a child with SN into the class perhaps. Or maybe the woman down the road feeds her kids pies and doesnt want them to go to university! WWYD and AIBU to report them to SS?

I fucking despair, I really do.

Ok I have had a think and I am going to hide the thread now.

NOt because I object to anyone disagreeing with me but because I feel it has reached its end (for me)

I was angry
I complained
I found out that others felt like me
I thought about what I wanted
I was asked to put the common feelings of many people to the makers of the programe
I did it
I fed back.

I am done now.

I can see no point in this going round in circles. It just causes misunderstandings, upset and division.

So i am off.

See yah

Have you lost a baby? Have you lost a baby and been through something worse?

Unless you can answer yes to either of those questions. Unless you've had the horror of watching your man walk your daughter down the aisle for the one and only time in a coffin, to see him lower the coffin into the ground (or lift it up in a crem, not getting into which funeral is better ) you will never know that there can't be anything worse.

I hope you don't have children and if you do they don't ever find out that they're not that important to you. If you don't have children, come back and talk to us when you do and tell us there's worse in life than losing a child.

Hello all

I see we've had another visit from someone who thought we were NetMums.

Nice

confuddled - wonderful post.

Again I am sorry for your loss, you have had a horrible trauma in your life which was unique to you and is the worst thing that you have been through so far at this point in your life. I am sorry that you are in pain and so very very angry right now. All very normal text book reactions that anyone would have to any traumatic event or loss in their life.

Who the fuck do you think you are? I don't want your sympathy, I've never asked for it. I'm not traumatised thanks very much but I have no intentions on telling you my life story.

I'm so glad you don't have children. It's obviuos you don't know the value of a child's life.

oh and niknak, if you appreciated anything I've said you'd agree, you obviously don't understand what we're going on about.

I'm amazed that someone who has been a member for so long doesn't even know the difference between NetMums and MumsNet

I've just run a quick search and I'm sure you know why I'm saying this. I have suffered from PTSD (not from the death of my daughter) and I have BPD. The trauma that led to my PTSD was still nothing compared to losing a child. I've not had the nicest of lives, it seems to be one blow after another. I've compared it to a lot of my bad experiences and nothing can compare.

I can never get my daughter back, I got over the PTSD.

I am sorry about your life experiences and your various mental health problems confuddled.

"Please note that the line below, could have been written differently, as much as you want empathy for your life trauma, please bear in mind others have painfull trauma's also, please do not get into competing for the worst trauma it is not good for you or for others.

You can not compare ANY "sad" life event to losing a baby, it just doesn't work like that

Unless you have beeen victim to every trauma possible you can't compare and compete!"

Who are you MummieHunnie - tonights wind up merchant?

Ladies, it's been a pleasure. I have learnt so much from you stories and insights - thank you. I am also stepping away from the thread now, as I am disgusted at the ignorant comments people are writing on here. BTW I will be continuing my EE boycott for a long time, possibly forever - 26 year loyal fan - gone.

I wish you all strength and happiness and I hope our paths cross again on the wider mumsnet.

Thank you for your support lovely

So, I watched EE, thurs and fri only.

I saw how Ronnie acted when left alone with the baby. She seems increasingly upset when alone with him.

Maybe EE/BBC will take the 'she really loses the plot and confesses to all' route?

How does everyone else feel who has watched it?

It has been so disjointed that it has confused me most of the time!! It hasn't flowed IYKWIM. Really very odd.

Kat and Alfie (and all the Slater family) have got 'it' very right. When Matty was killed my Mum seemed to 'shut down' and my Dad (the strongest man I have ever met, my hero) had to go on AD and drank till he passed out. My brother got so angry, my DS1 was distraught, my DH just cried all day and night, and I wandered through the middle of it trying to hold it all together. Still do to a certain extent.

Kat blaming her Dad IMO was what many, many bereaved parents feel like doing OR indeed do. You just want answers or someone to blame. To loose a baby because of SID's must be truly, truly awful. To awful to try to understand or make any sense of.

I never really thought that Jessie Wallace (Kat) was that good an actress before, but I think she has been really believable. She played Ena Sharples in this corrie play and she was brill in that too. Apparently Michael Moon comes back next week in EE.

Shabba

I know what you mean. After you blame yourself for not being there, you look to others.

Human nature. Not very nice but it's how you compute sometimes.

I thought that Kat and Alfie have done brilliantly with this story. Very believable.

Some people just shut down, some shout and scream, some just wade through all of the grief and become the glue that keeps them all together.

You are the glue Shabba - you maybe didn't want to be, but you are.

Much love to you xx

Shabba, it's funny what we will find to blame. A few days before I lost my baby, Mum bought a nice WTP toy in the sale for my unborn niece. I said it was nice and asked if there were any others but she said that there weren't. After she died she told me she blamed herself for not buying a WTP toy for my baby too but she hadn't wanted her first present for my first baby to be bought from the sale.

Thats so sad about your Mum confuddled. I think its understandable in such an awful and unexplainable situation such as a cot death - it is no-ones "fault" - but because we are all human it is an instinct to look for reasons, based on the "is there something I could have done differently" thing which leads to unnecessary guilt at an already emotionally overwhelming time for all people affected by it.

At least in the beginning anyway I feel this has been my experience of peoples emotions.

One way to get back at Eastenders... Ensuring they do not walk away with a Soap Award at this years Television awards...

Link to thread for details

I really hope John Altman was protecting his reputation with Eastenders, he just compared the storyline to to his heroin one and said they did a good job!

I thought it was a really good story line and was annoyed that, due to letters of complaint, they changed it. Soaps rarely have totally realistic story lines - surely that´s why they´re so popular?

I assume they chose to use this story line as they were interested in the ´What if? ´element. After all isn´t this the purpose of most creative writing/plays/screenplays?

Of course there should be boundaries based on a sense of morality, but I don´t feel the baby swap story line was promoting an immoral viewpoint. It was just examining the issues of identity and grief and as such was aimed at provoking thought.

I think Eastenders is a good soap. It´s not high art but it does try to include relevant issues to most people´s everyday lives. Since watching this story line I was reminded how distressing it must be for parents to lose a child in this way. I did n´t immediately think it meant that all bereaved mothers would want to steal other people´s children.

If this story line has increased donations to charities offering support to bereaved parent´s, surely this is a good thing as by the story no longer running, it will be in the public consciousness for a shorter time.