You can?t upset the mother, she?s already upset but it will help her to know that you?re thinking of her and her child.
Drewsgirl, as a new mum I?m assuming you?ve never held your dead child or watched their last breath leave their body? Until you have you have no idea the harm and hurt that these stories cause.
?Should people write the child's name on christmas cards, or just a little mention of them?
I often wonder, do you say you have 3 children or 2 (if one died)??
My OH sometimes writes our first baby on Christmas cards to me and I find it a little weird, maybe just a ?thinking of you? message, just really simple would be nice. Forget Christmas though, for me it?s Mother?s Day, especially as it?s also my half year angelversary!
How many children is something I?ve spent a lot of time thinking about. I have two children, I have had three children. It does hurt to think of it that way but it?s the simplest way.
BTW, don?t worry about the questions, I?m sure we can all see the intention behind them and often that?s the most important thing.
A friend of mine lost a son before birth then had a second son prematurely. When she was pregnant for the third time she had people saying ?Oh I bet you want a girl this time to even it out?? Not only did that deny her first son but as someone who had lost a baby and had to go through the ordeal of prematurity her only concern was to have a healthy live baby so she found it quite hurtful.
?Both women would still be under the care of midwives?
The same midwives at that! That thought hadn?t crossed my mind before. Another thing, did anyone notice it was the same baby? Mum said about Ronnie?s baby ?look at his ears!? so when they cut to Kat?s baby we noticed the same ear.