Dilemma with DS1

[TrevJC]

DS1 is at uni and constantly overspent. We have baled him out twice this year to the tune of £400. His Christmas present to very kind, generous but lonely, elderly aunt was to take her out for lunch. This is supposed to be next weekend. He now tells me he has no money and has to cancel the lunch. I know she will be very disappointed. Do I bale him out again to avoid hurting aunty? Or do I send money for the possibly doomed event?

Personally i think he's old enough to face the consequences of his actions, let me put it this way, do you still want to be bailing him out in 5 years time? By all means give budgeting advice but in the long run your not helping him, although i think you already know that yourself. At some point in the future i he'll want to own or rent a property unless your planning on letting him live with you until he's 40? he'll then have to face real financial commitments, being cruel to be kind won't hurt as much as you think. Oh and if he were mine i'd make him phone the aunty himself and explain why he's letting her down - yep i'm a harsh but fair - it's gotta be done!

Thank you. Yes, I know that you are right really. And he will be phoning aunty himself!