How to cope with exam and school work stress

[larry5]

Dd is taking A2 exams this year. She has been doing Chemistry coursework which is very difficult. She keeps crying and telling me how bad everything is and I am worried that when she actually gets to take her exams in the summer she will have a breakdown because of her stress levels.

Has anyone got any ideas about how I can help her with her stress levels.

Can you speak to her teachers for their assessment on how she is doing, and use that to re-assure her?

Let her know that you are proud of her efforts and that no-one has unrealistic expectations. Her teachers would have not let her on the course if she didn't have a chance and would have told her by now if they were worried. Maybe a long cry & talk is what she needs right now? My DD was in tears at various times in Yr13 with the pressure, we just kept talking and reminded her that there were always Gap years, re-sits etc if she did fail, but her teachers predicted good grades and she should believe them and just give it all she could.

Chemistry Coursework was a killer for all DDs friends last year - I remember the discussions, so she has my sympathy.

Good luck

we had parents evening last night for DD1 (Year 12) and hearing every single one of he teachers telling her she needed to chill a bit more, she was doing great helped loads.

Also, between us we managed to work out exactly what was bothering her (the fact that she doesn't understand all the theory behind everything she's doing) and explained that to all her teachers (they mainly laughed and told her to remember she's doing A levels and not a PHD, and that Chemistry is supposed to be fuzzy round the edges at this level), so they can see where's she's coming from.

DD2(year 12) is prone to meltdowns over schoolwork. We've had two recently - one over the maths module that she took in January and thinks she messed up and another one over the volume of homework she had a couple of weekends ago. Normally having the tears and a chance to talk is enough to get her through it.

It is difficult when they put a lot of pressure on themselves and as a parent I try and make sure all the boring things are in place like getting a good nights sleep, eating properly and providing tea and sympathy when they are staying up late to get stuff done.

Thanks for all your messages. We have parents evening in a couple of weeks time so I will talk to her teachers to find out how she is doing. I did have a long talk to her today and have told her that whatever happens she can only do the best she can.

She is doing her last uni visit next week and then has to decide which one to choose having had offers from all 5 which would suggest that the referrence from her school was extremely good.

Oh well I will have to take the chill pills to help me cope.

I was going to ask you whether she is a high achiever? Just like the other posters before me, my experience of teaching 'A' level students is that usually it is the brighter, higher achieving students who seem to put so much pressure on themselves, that sometimes we need to tell them just to relax and take the pressure off themselves a bit.

That's not very helpful is it really?

Dd wants to study Maths at uni and her favourite requires 300 points with an A in maths so I would think that she would be thought of as a high achiever.

One of her problems is that she was badly bullied at her first secondary school because she wanted to work and it wasn't cool. She kept working and kept her head down. Having got into this pattern I think working hard is part of her personality.

We moved here when she started year 10 and she was put into the second set for Maths and Science because the school set for these two subjects in year 9 so she missed out on doing triple science and maths GCSE a year early. Since then she seems to feel that she can't catch up with the others although I thinkl she is expected to achieve one of the highest marks in Maths.