advice needed re statutory rape

[herbidacious]

just found out my 14 year old daughter has slept with a seventeen year old. its too long to explain but apart from the fact she is now under extremely close supervision at home i want to know what happens if i go to the police. i don't think for one minute she will agree to pressing charges so can it be persued. i also believe he has supplied her with cannabis.

I think it's unlikely you'll get anywhere tbh. I would be more concerned in workign on protecting her and guiding her now rather than going to the police.

If it was consensual and they used contraception then I think, as rainbow says, you may be better off dealing with this privately

herbi Im definitely not having a go at you ....but if youd been at my house 2 sundays ago when 4 14 year olds were there and one offered my 16 year old ds sexual favours and later texted to offer full sex - you will forgive me for saying this is a very dodgy area.

Hope your dd is ok .

Personally I think you'd be better off doing what you're doing - close supervision, lots of opportunities for her to talk, don't label her as a 'bad kid' etc etc.

You are well within your rights to go to the police but I don't know how far you'd get - it is a tough thing to brand a guy a rapist too. Completely understand you though, really do.

I know you must be very, very, very angry and upset and wanting to strike out at him

my opinion though, that if it was consensual and your dd was not coerced in any way, that going to the police will achieve very little

however...if you feel undue pressure was put to bear, he got her drunk/drugged, for example then you may have a case to make sure he understands that this was a criminal act and not acceptable

it's a difficult one...at the moment I think I would be prioritising the r'ship with my dd and if going to the police would drive her away from you, I would not do it

Not sure if this helps but if it is reported by you - regardless of whether your dd presses charges or herself makes a formal complaint- it is likely that the police would take action of some kind.

So clearly you need to think through the ramifications on all concerned and ensure that you wanting to report this is for the right reasons.

I don't actually think they would prosecute though, if it was consensual

Rather than the police I'd perhaps copnsider informing his parents.
He should be made aware that it is not ok to go round shagging 14yo's.

oh yes, JV, that goes without saying

I wasn't thinking that nothing should be done

I'd also go to see his parents.
Then take stock.