Revision versus Facebook etc

[ADifferentMe]

DD1 is doing mocks plus actual GCSE papers this week. The school puts revision help on their website meaning I can't take away her laptop completely when she's supposed to be revising. I can see from her Facebook updates that she's dipping in and out of FB all day (and some of the posts even mention what DVDs she's watching while she's revising).

I seem to be having an unusual crisis of confidence over this - I don't know whether I should still restrict surfing time for a 16 year old or whether I should just let her get on with it.

The GCSE papers are resits because she got Ds last summer instead of the predicted As, otherwise I probably wouldn't be fretting.

Any advice?

I'm not sure there's much you can do. Even if you block facebook (use a parental control thing), there will be something else to distract her. Remembering back to when I did exams, there was ALWAYS something else to divert attention, and that was before computers, DVDs and even videos were around.

I know how you feel but as snorkie says I think you just have to go with it my 2 DD's are the same the eldest got 6A* and 5A last year not sure youngest will do as well but is doing them this summer

Thanks both of you - that's strangely reassuring She never appears to do any work but usually does very well.

She got the laptop for Christmas against my better judgement so I'm probably just panicking.

Had huge row with ds last night on this as he has just received less than encouraging results inmock GCSEs. He was predicted to do well but his results have fallen well short. It seems he can no longer be bothered to learn. T hemore we try and advise and encourage the worse he becomes. He is also now rude to us most of the time and I am in danger if actually disliking him and his attitude. Any advice?

I don't know flashpan. It's a difficult age really, they just don't like to be told. Hopefully he'll figure it out himself, but no idea really how best you can encourage this - except maybe be as subtle as you can!

If it's any consolation ds was revising for his (real not mock) exams today at the piano whilst playing last night .

Exactly the same for DD. She got a bad grade in one of her mocks where she was predicted the top. I'm worried for her and can tell she is one and off facebook when supposed to be revising.

The laptop is hers so there isn't much I can do about it except trust her to try much harder in the real GCSE's.

Last night must have been official teenage meltdown night!

DD1, until now highly responsible and hard-working has managed in the space of a week to lose her Art coursework which has taken her hours and run up a massive phone bill. She hasn't realised that documenting these aspects of her life on Facebook is not sensible if she doesn't want her parents to know

As of last night, phone and laptop are confiscated at 10pm.

Can you not negotiate some concentrated revision without distraction followed by unfettered FB etc access? (Hopeful. Works now, but dcs are younger).

Fair enough!

Computer use can be very addictive and time-wasting.

While you hope your teenagers are developing the self-discipline they need to carry them into adult life, I think it's up to parents to set boundaries and exert discipline to help them develop that self-discipline.

I'm just remembering a comment by an MNer this week whose son said he would would have done better academically if she had been more strict with him .

That really made me think about how I deal with dd. I think I need to raise the bar a bit and set more boundaries and have higher expectations. Yes, it's their life but we're still coaching them on how to make the most of that life.

Good luck.

All mine have done that while they have supposed to have been revising. DD1 is now 22 and she finished uni with a first in Biology. She's now doing a PGCE. DD2 is 20 and finished colege with double distintion ( equivelent to 2A's)in Performing Arts and C in English. She is now at uni doing an acting for stage and media degree. She gor 2:1 in two essays she did before Christmas,
DD3 just 18 is differnt as she has dyspraxia and is not as acadamic as her sisters, She got mostly D's and E's but did get one c in her GCSE's. She's now at college and enjoying her course.
Sorry got a bit carried away. I think you just need to leave her to it as much as possible,butoccasionly gently emind her about revising.