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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Trick or Treating - How do you feel about it?

24 replies

ADifferentMe · 22/10/2009 18:44

DD is in Y9 and has announced that she is g
doing it next week with a group of friends.

In turn, I have announced that she is not so I'm not very popular at the moment

She is very sensible, more so than some of the others in the group, but my main objection is I really don't like people doing it to us so it seems a bit hypocritical. The whole concept seems wrong - knocking on strangers' doors, asking for stuff then playing up if you don't get your own way.

Our house was egged last year. We live in a village with a very elderly population and I don't think it's fair on them.

Am I (as she tells me) the only person who doesn't like it?

OP posts:
mumblechum · 22/10/2009 20:14

I don't have a problem with ds and his friends doing it in the village, we have hordes of littlies trick or treating with a couple of adults accompanying them and some older kids and teens by themselves.

We have a pumpkin at the end of the drive which is the unwritten rule in our village that people are welcome. the kids know not to go to a house without a pumpkin.

The only prob is keeping stocks up - they're like a horde of locusts!

mumblechum · 22/10/2009 20:15

And they don't play up if they don't go their own way. When I used to take a load of littlies out, if the person didn't have or want to give them anything the children would tell a very bad joke instead.

Original poster
ADifferentMe · 22/10/2009 22:35

Mumble, how old is your DS?

I felt happier when they were little and with an adult. Round here it seems if they don't get the sweets (or cider ) some of them will resort to malice. I know DD wouldn't but I'm not so sure about some of the others.

OP posts:
blametheparents · 22/10/2009 22:39

We have the pumpkin rule in our village too

OnceWasMummyPig · 22/10/2009 22:51

I hate it. Around here it's getting more and more popular. I've said the piggies can go and do it this year but only with me. And I'm going to make sure I only go to houses of people we know.

I'm not sure what I will do when they are older. Hopefully by then they might have absorbed my approach and they won't go and knock on just anyone's door and then throw eggs at people who won't give them sweets. But I feel ds1 (in particular) may be influenced by his peer group so I know I would worry about it.

mumeeee · 22/10/2009 22:58

I don't like it and didn't allow any of my tenagers to do it.

cory · 23/10/2009 08:40

little and with an adult, no problem- but we don't get those around here

it's all gangs of teens and egging not unknown

while I don't find them horrendously threatening myself, I think they must realise it is frightening for the frail and elderly

so no way my dcs are doing it, this or any other year

we skulk in the kitchen with a saucepan full of popcorn on Halloween

Original poster
ADifferentMe · 23/10/2009 09:07

Thanks all of you - such a relief to know it's not just me.

This is the first time I've had to say no to her and the first time she's wanted to do something in the evening. She's a really good kid, well-behaved in the extreme, and I don't want her getting caught up in something which is possibly going to go wrong.

Cory - it had never occurred to me, but a gang of teenagers is exactly what they are!

OP posts:
BrigitDeathEaters · 23/10/2009 10:08

My younger DD (11) will go out this year with a few friends (with an adult supervising of course) and the accepted thing in our neighbourhood is that people put out a pumpkin or decorations to show trick or treaters are welcome.

DD1 is 13 and she has decided not to go out this year as she feels she is too old for trick or treating and I agree with her.

I always feel quite intimidated by gangs of teens demanding sweets with menaces- from little ones it seems more innocent somehow. For bigger kids its just a license to cause trouble IMO

inthesticks · 23/10/2009 16:01

I detest trick or treat but caved in eventually when DSs were 9/11. Again in our village a pumpkin outside means you are welcome and the householder has in supplies of sweets.
This year DS1 is 13 and wants to go to a nearby much larger village. I've said no because I fear there will be large gangs of older teens around. I am currently the Wicked Witch of the West in his view.

MrsMorgan · 23/10/2009 16:03

I don't mind it, but will only answer the door to trick or treaters on 31st and only if it is before 9pm.

My 3 dc will go trick or treating, but they only go people who they know don't mind it.

Original poster
ADifferentMe · 23/10/2009 20:20

Inthesticks - perhaps we should go trick or treating together as I am apparently a witch at the moment! Another screaming match tonight - this seems to have happened overnight

OP posts:
desertmum · 24/10/2009 06:52

I guess it's like all the other issues we have with our teenagers, be it drinking, smoking, going out to parties etc., you have to stick with what is right for you and your family. I know this can be hard when you are made out to be the Wicked Witch of the West, but another week and it will all be over and you will be onto something else LOL.

But I know sometimes you can doubt yourself (I know I do even when I know what is best for my family)- hence all our questions on this forum.

StinkbotsMum · 24/10/2009 08:26

People who leave their porch lights on and put out Halloween decorations WANT to participate. I can't see any nuisance in knocking on their doors. Around here, it usually turns out to be someone I vaguely recognise living in the house.

The problem is when the gangs of teens run down the road rapidly knocking on every door, including those that are completely dark. We didn't get any responsible How to Go T-or-Ting leaflets this year, but hopefully they were passed out at High School (??)

WickedWitchinthesticks · 24/10/2009 12:47

ADifferentMe - off subject sorry, but my DS is in Y9 and I'm finding it quite a challenge at the moment. He has always been very well behaived and sensible but in the last few months is constantly pushing the boundries. I try very hard to be fair and never say No without thinking about it. As someone else on here said they can be a bit like big toddlers, whatever you agree to they always want more.
I have now said No to a sleepover at a friends because the parents won't be there. He thought I was being unreasonable and should trust him until he found out the sleepover was cancelled because no one was allowed to go.

Tortington · 25/10/2009 13:20

i had to explain to mine that they were now considered intimidating becuase they were teenagers, and the only way they could go trick or treating was if they went with other small children.

it was quite a shock for them when i told them, as they didn't consider themselves that way - obviously

pointyhat · 25/10/2009 13:25

Depends how it's done.

If they go to friends' houses so someone is half expecting them, then it would be fine. No problem.

I don't think anyone - especially teenagers - should be knocking on any tom, dick or harry's door at hallowe'en. We all know some people hates em

herbietea · 25/10/2009 13:26

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Anifrangapani · 25/10/2009 13:27

Another Village with the pumpkin rule

Original poster
ADifferentMe · 27/10/2009 20:39

Thanks everyone - panic over, she's had a better offer

Herbie - that's awful, do you know who's planning it? I wouldn't be surprised if it happens again to us after last year - may send DH to sit in the hedge all night waiting for the little sods.

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 27/10/2009 20:49

I loathe it too.

My ds is going but with adults and his father (we're divorced) so I can't really stop him but I think it's horrible. I live in a small town and luckily our house is in a quiet part so we don't get any.

herbietea · 27/10/2009 20:53

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Message withdrawn

Original poster
ADifferentMe · 31/10/2009 17:58

Hello Herbietea, everything calm so far?

I'm sitting here in the dark so they don't know I'm home!

OP posts:
mummyflood · 31/10/2009 18:27

I hate this! they are driving me sodding mad this year. They started at 4.45 and we are now into double figures. All ages, including one adult so far (yes, it was the adult that knocked and wished DS2 happy halloween...) Next door has put a note on her door, 'please do not knock, it upsets my dog'!! talk about a red rag to a bull...

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