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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

teens are fun you know, not monsters(come post your nice stuff)

112 replies

smoking2shoes · 09/10/2009 07:42

fed up with the "omg a teen will stab me dramatics"
on monday dd had to have an operation(sn)
her 17yr old brother came to visit her with his friend(a girl) they stayed an hour and made her day.
he has another friend, who if you saw in the street would look scarey(mohican and all in black) yet whenever he comes to the house he comes in to show dd his hair, even though he knows she will lol

OP posts:
mamhaf · 10/10/2009 21:29

I much prefer being a mum to teens than to younger children - it's much more fun and not nearly as much work.

And the bonus is, they have great friends who are a joy to have in the house - dd2 has a friend here for a sleepover tonight, and we're sitting down watching X-factor together - it's a delight.

PoppyIsApain · 10/10/2009 21:30

My 13 year old brother is quite mean to me most times as you would expect him to be to an older sister but if im ill or upset he is always concerned for me, he is great

Goober · 10/10/2009 21:34

My pain in the arse lovely 13 year old daughter who is out tonight at a sleepover. At first it was a relief, but was just sitting here thinking how much I miss her when the phone rang. Twas the angelic daughter phoning to say goodnight and "Love You."

woozlet · 10/10/2009 21:37

My sis is 14, very hormonal but also very sweet and a right laugh.

IME teens are so much more helpful out and about than adults. They don't seem as wrapped up in their own lives despite what people might think of them. Honestly it is ALWAYS teenagers who offer to help me with the buggy.

gemmiegoatlegs · 10/10/2009 21:38

I am surprised to have something to add to this thread as I am generally scared of teenagers and my two are far from that age at the mo.

But today, on a crowded train coming home from Newcastle i was anxious about standing with dd (just 4 and utterly knackered). a young teen couple - maybe 14- had seats and shuffled over and invited dd to sit down with them. So dd sat down and the young girl chatted with her and even shared her sweets.

Hassled · 10/10/2009 21:41

A Mother's Day a couple of years ago - I was having a lie in and feeling a bit crap. There was a knok on the bedroom door and in walked DS1, who had got the train back from Uni the night before and stayed at his father's - was the best surprise ever.

PurpleLostPrincess · 11/10/2009 00:19

DS was 13 when DD2 was born and had to have a series of operations - he came to see her in the hospital but had to leave the room in tears, he said he couldn't cope with seeing her all hooked up to the machines. Since then, she has become his favourite person on the planet (apart from his girlfriend!). He and his gf came on holiday with us this year, I was thinking it would be the last one he'd come on with us now that he's 15 but he can't wait for next year! He took DD1 (11) and her friend on the bus into town and showed them which busses to get where and when etc for me as I'm having a hysterectomy in a few weeks. He has his moments as do all teenagers but on the whole, he is thoughtful and loving and doesn't mind giving me hugs in public. He admits to being a mummy's boy to his mates and they all love coming round here and chatting with me, it's like a youth club and they're all funny and a joy to be around! He even say's 'LOVE YOU' at the end of a phone conversation in front of his mates at school!

So far, even with the difficult parts, I have to say the teenage years come a close second to the toddler years - I love my teenager! The key for us has been keeping the lines of communication open and not freaking out when told stuff.

What a fab thread

tillytips · 11/10/2009 08:41

My son is curently in year 10 and has just started his GCSE coursework. Needless to say, tempers have become frayed lately!

I took him shopping with me last sunday, just the two of us and i'd forgotton what good company he is.
He's very funny, kind (although not always to his sister), clever and generally a decent kid.
I can see why he is so popular and why i've always got other peoples kids in my house, it's because he's cool!

I also found out that when he goes into town with his mates they club together and buy our towns homeless man a sausage roll and a drink from the bakers.
A proud moment.

edam · 11/10/2009 11:43

I had a tangle with stereotypical badly behaved teenagers the other day. They were bloody surprised when I ran after them and caught them up to tell them off. But they went red, apologised, were embarrassed, shuffled their feet, and were horrified when I pointed out they'd upset ds and apologised to him too.

Then they jumped the gates into the tube but hey ho, they'd spent five minutes making up for their previous behaviour, I wasn't going to tell on them!

edam · 11/10/2009 11:45

Oh, and a few years back I was walking up the street with ds in the buggy. A few yards ahead of us were some teenagers effing and blinding, just chatting amongst themselves but obv. using the sort of language teenagers do.

Then one of them glanced back, clocked ds, and told the rest of them off, saying 'oi, stop swearing, there's a baby over there'. So sweet!

MamaLazarou · 11/10/2009 11:56

What a wonderful thread.

We were in a café yesterday and a small group of unruly teenagers came in, trousers round their knees, noisy and scruffy, ordered cheeseburgers. All the old folk rolled their eyes and tutted.

When they'd finished their meals, the teens took their plates up to the counter and said thank you to the waitress.

Tillytips, your town has just ONE homeless man??? It sounds like some kind of Utopia! That's lovely, by the way - your son sounds smashing.

harryharpie · 11/10/2009 12:16

Ha well said dollyparting

halfcut · 11/10/2009 14:38

My 17 year old teen ds is currently building lego houses with his nephews

charis · 11/10/2009 14:54

I have just got back from scout camp. The teenage boy leaders (explorer scouts?) each took a group of seven year old beavers and showed them how to climb, shoot arrows and set fire to sticks. They were terrific role models; kind, friendly, good fun and polite too.

bigpantywoman · 11/10/2009 20:58

What a lovely thread, I have two DD's aged 5 and 8 and I dread the teenage years but this is letting me know that there is hope! I must say, my teenage neices are fab; although they have given their mum and dad a few grey hairs over the years, but they are lovely girls

troutpout · 11/10/2009 23:42

Walking back from town last week. I saw an elderly gentleman get out of his car looking really panicky. Realised that his wife had got out of the other side and must have fallen because she was on the floor.
I then saw 3 teenage boys rushing over to help. By the time i was up close they had all got the lady on her feet and one had got a chair from a local garage for her to sit on.

Fab kids

desertmum · 12/10/2009 07:06

I love my two teens (13 and 15) - DS is soooo funny and the most amazing mimic with a great ear for accents, and has us rolling up with laughter at his jokes and observations on life. DD is the greatest company, kind and generous. She works hard and has just joined cadets with her brother which amazed me! She makes me really proud - they both do.

Went to pick up DS last night from his friends - the friends Dad said of all his son's friends my DS was the politest, brightest most likeable boy they knew - he makes eye contact, can hold an intelligent conversation and always says please and thank you. Made me so proud.

Of course, there are times when I could wring their necks! But overall they are pretty good kids. Isn't it nice to be able to say good things about them ?

Hurray for our teenagers,

lillypie · 12/10/2009 08:31

When my sons were teens things were hard as I was a single parent and was at college as well as working to jobs.

I got very angry with them one day when I came home yet again to find one of the worst boys in the area tucking into dinner at my expense,waiting for clothes that had been washed in my washing machine to dry in my dryer.

When he had gone home I pulled my boys about it and DS2 (who was the same age - 14) said Mum he fights at school because people take the piss out of him because his clothes are dirty and he steals from the shop because he is hungry.His family are shit.He's my mate and I have to take care of him!!!

I felt very ashamed.

lillypie · 12/10/2009 08:32

lol two jobs

GetOrfMoiLand · 12/10/2009 08:45

I love being a parent to a teen - this is the best part of parenthood imo, dd was was lovely as a baby, toddler, pre-school, infant, junior and tweenie, but now she is a teenager she really is fantastic.

The downsides are the general untidiness (her bedroom would be unspeakable if I didn't make her gut it once in a while) and the hormonal swings, however the upsides are wonderful conversations, her funny asides, her support and help, and the fact I am seeing her blossom into a young woman.

Parents of babies and toddlers - the best bit is to come .

bodycolder · 12/10/2009 08:57

My ds is 15 and he is adorable most of the time.Yesterday he brought me the observer and a tin of cat food because I was exhausted and didn't want to go out.He still snuggles up to watch tv and says he can only go out on a friday night as he likes at least 2 family nights at the weekend!He is hilarious and loves his dad to bits and seeing them together playing guitars etc is a joy.He does bring home any old waif for dinner and there are sometimes a bunch of smelly shoes in the hall and lynx riddles boys on the sitting room floor but they are fab!

nikos · 12/10/2009 09:41

Lillypie - that's a wonderful thing your sons were doing. Be very proud of them, brought a tear to my eye!!!

lillypie · 12/10/2009 11:15

They were fab teens and have grown into lovely young men

GoppingOtter · 12/10/2009 11:19

my teens can be lovely

ds1 has barely ever been a minutes bother....the thing is they are humans - with hormones - it was never going tp be easy - in 10 days i will have 3 teenagers and if this is a bad as it gets - it's fine

at least you can talk to teenagers and laugh with their mates

SexyDomesticatedDad · 12/10/2009 14:22

DW gets to work woth some very difficult teens but overall seems to get them back onto the right path - its the other staff and mgmt which makes life so difficult.

We also get good reviews for out two eldest, DS1 (just 17) works as waiter and general kitchen staff as needed, the hotel says he's fab and guests enjoy chatting too. Also plays in a social table tennis league on a team, their captain is about my age and says he's now the shortest and weakest of the team, the other lad is about the same age too.

DS1 also sometimes picks up when DW and I are not hitting it off with 'look into each others eyes and say one thing you love about each other'.

DS2 12 enjoys playing music with DW and also takes DS3 & 4 to park to play. Just training him up too as a childminder when DW & I need to go shopping.

Saw a couple of recent programmes on teens and one was based on the not so good parts of Swindon - an ex Army bloke got the oldies and the young uns together and got them to talk about what they don't like about each other and reasons etc. Then they signed a pact to try to understand each other more e.g. teens sometime do just hang around doing nothing, oldies should not sneer at young uns etc. Made me think we don't do enough for our teens. I spent all my time in youth / cadet / scout type things so never did the hanging around corners but got some insight.

Overall teens are great - would like to see more done to help those that loose their way (as DW puts it) they generally have poor support at home and some pretty shocking histories .

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