DS is driving me MAAAAAD!!!!

[RGPargy]

Bit of background:

DS kept stealing money (loose change) from mine and DP's bedroom (DP is not DS's dad) and it got so bad we had to put a lock on our bedroom door.

DS also takes DP's t-shits, socks and even boxers if he has run out of his own. It drives DP mad because DS leaves his BO smell all over the armpit section of DP's shirts and it wont come out even after washing. Plus i should imagine he feels violated if even DP's UNDERWEAR is being "stolen" (as such). DS even wore DP's brand new white t-shirt (that was a present from me) to college and proceeded to get CEMENT all over it (he did a bricklaying course!) which ruined it. DP was furious about this and rightly so! So now I have to make sure that our washing is put upstairs and away in our locked bedroom pronto before it gets stolen by DS.

The latest thing that he is doing is stealing from the baby. Yup, the baby. DD (22 months) has had her cereal scoffed, her biscuits scoffed, despite numerous times of me telling him NOT to eat her cereal OR her biscuits because, well, i bought them for HER!

This morning i came downstairs to a note that he left saying "i had the biscuits but will buy more before i go out". I know it's only a pack of biscuits, but i am FUMING!! I feel like i'm talking to a brick wall. What happens if DD wants one of her biscuits before he has gone out to get them? FFS i'm really despising him living here atm.

He leaves his motorbike bits all over the place, dirty clothes just left everywhere, his bedroom is a pig sty, he NEVER puts his plates away in the dishwasher, he leaves dangerous things laying around that DD could possibly pick up and injure herself with, he leaves the stairgate open so she can get out, and i'm just so pissed off with it all.

The irony is that he (stupidly) had a tattoo of DD's name on the inside of his forearm and it feels like it's just a mockery. If he really cared about his step-sister enough to get a tattoo done, surely he'd stop eating her food, especially as she's going through a fussy phase as it is, without him pigging on her food!!! I think he had the tattoo done just as something to have done, rather than having it done because he truly deeply loves his sister!!

Sorry for the rant but i'm so furious i just cant stand to look at the boy right now.

He's 19.

If you've got this far, then thanx for reading and you can wake up now lol.

And breathe.

Playing devils advocate now, do you think part of it is that he feels a little bit left out now that there's a new man and new baby on the scene whereas previously it was just you and him?

I'm not excusing him, just trying to see things from his perspective. Maybe he knows he's behaving quite badly but it's his way of showing that he feels a bit redundant??

I think all you can do is tell him again and again. The fact that he said he'll buy some more biscuits for the baby shows he's not a complete heel.

Hopefully it won't be forever, is he looking to move out to a flat when he's 21 or so?

Perhaps he does feel a bit left out mumble, but tbh he's not helping the cause really. He's never in so it's not like he can even spend time with us so that we can include him. We've invited him places with us before but he's just curled his lip and said "nah" so now we have given up.

The most we can do to include him now is buy him a takeaway if he have one, which he eats on his own when he gets in a whatever time.

He's not showing any signs of wanting to move out yet unfortunately!

I think he only said he would buy more biscuits is because he knows i will go mad if i found out he'd stuffed her biscuits yet again.

I just cant believe how selfish he is - all the time!

Well as predicted the replacement biscuits never materialised because they apparently "ran out" up the local shop. GGGGGRRRRR!!!!!!!

Oh dear.

Maybe you should refuse to buy one of his fav foods for a couple of weeks.

He doesn't have any favourite foods bought for him anyway.

I just dont know what to do really. I'm fed up. I'm seriously thinking about saying to him that he should look for somewhere else to live before our relationship completely breaks down!

Could you perhaps try buying him some of his favourite foods or snacks and point them out to him in the cupboard, then he might not eat the babies. Or, ask him what he would like you to buy specially for him. Sounds like a touch of jealousy to me.

I hope he knows you love him, because your OP is full of contempt.

A 19 year old doing things like that is contemptible no matter how much you love them. He's an adult and at the very least should care enough to keep a baby safe.