Do you think this is 'normal'?

[mumto3boys]

I use the term normal loosely, but am not sure what else to put!

DS1 is 12 and a half and in year 7. He is teeny tiny compared to his mates - 140cm tall and just gone into age 10 clothes. His friends seem massive and more like grown ups where as DS is very much a little boy.

I'm not sure if he's just a bit of a late starter, or if some of his friends are a bit early - some of them do seem particularly grown up.

He is getting increasingly upset at getting called 'midget' - he takes it very very seriously and thinks he will never grow. He is growing - he has grown 5cm in about a year. He also says there are others about his height, but that they are all the smallest and most of the others are bigger.

I am thinking of taking him to the GP, but don't want him to think I am making an issue of it, the GP say he is a late starter and him ending up feeling worse.

His voice hasn't broken, he doesn't sweat, has no new hairs (that I am aware of).

Advice please?!

Poor DS, it must be so annoying for him - at that age it seems that children can vary enormously, my DS1 is only 7 but already there are boys who are head and shoulders above the rest in his class and some of the year 6s seem to have suddenly shot up while others still look about my DS's size.

Personally, I think I would go to the GP on my own first to discuss it, take along his measurements, height and weight etc, rather than risk the GP making a comment that might upset him.

If the GP then wants to see DS you can take it further.

Good luck

PS I mean the silly comments must be annoying, not his height!!

My DH was tiny in school, even when we got together at 15 he was one of the smallest in the year.

at 18 he just spouted up, super fast, is almost 6ft now.

DS had a very tiny friend in year 7, but last time I saw him (now year 10) I thought wow you've grown a lot. His voice had finally broken too. So take heart - there's a huge spread of sizes at that age as puberty does make a big difference to when they have their growth spurts and there's a very wide range of normal.

Dh was 5'3 at 15. By 17 he was 6'3.

Plenty of time for your DS to have his growth spurt yet

DD is in year 8 - the girls towered above the boys in year 7 but most of them are catching up. She still has one friend (a boy) who is tiny (and therefore very popular with the girls for the cuteness factor). His dad was telling me that he didn't shoot up till he was 16. He's now about 6'2. Can your son's dad reassure him about his own growth?

Very sad these days how much more aware of physical appearance kids are, both boys and girls.

DS1 was the same at this age.

We did take him to the doctor because he was getting more and more unhappy about being teased at secondary school. The doctor said that it was good to come and talk because this sort of problem tends to affect boys psychologically as much as physically.

Firstly the doctor tested his thyroxine level, which was fine, and so DS1 was referred to a growth clinic at the hospital.

He is still under their care at 15 because he is still very short for his age and quite immature in the body (if you follow me).

He has really helped him psyschologically. Basically they have assured him that there is nothing wrong with him and talked him through the tests they have done. He had the bones in one of his hands X-rayed and this showed him that he had the bone structure of a much younger boy and that this will change over time. They have also examined his testicles and explained to him how much longer it will be before puberty kicks in. At one stage they put him on a course of hormones to try to kick start puberty, but it still didn't help.

He is still short and prepubescent (has the best skin in his year!). He is used to teachers who don't know him telling him to get out of the fourth year areas at the school and to restaurant staff still handing over the children's menu (so cheap!) What has changed is his attitude and his confidence. He knows that it is a question of waiting. He knows that there is nothing wrong with him.

I would really recommend talking to a doctor for psychological reasons if nothing else.

My experience as a secondary school teacher might help; I have taught teenage boys for years and am afraid, although it's not reassuring for your DS!, that even in Yr 9 the different developmental stages of the boys are really vividly apparent - some are like young men, other still clearly very much boys with unbroken voices and lanky forms rather than that muscular development of arms and torso that you start to see in adolescent boys.

In my experience, it's not until Yr 10 and Yr 11 that they start to even out a bit although I have taught the occasional sixth former who still clearly had some physical developmental stages to go through. But year after year, I have walked into classrooms of Yr 11 students and realised that that is the first point at which: "God, all the boys are bigger and taller than me!"

Unfortunately, Yr 7 is still very early to be hoping they will all even out - he sounds completely normal but I'm afraid you may have two or three more years yet to cope with.

Was at parents evening in Yr 7 yesterday: all the boys looked titchy. And not only small but so young. Dd bemoaned the fact that we have stuck her in a school that has only this year had an intake of boys, so no older talent for her delight.

Boys choirs do tend to contain a fair few 11/12-yos, which would seem to indicate that they haven't all hit puberty at that age.

Am on third teen now, and can tell you that some of the boys who are huge and 'developed' in Yr 7 do not continue growing. Quite often they end up as the shortest in the year in the 6th form or whatever.

There is a massive difference in shapes and sizes up until about Yr 10, girls and boys, some enormous, some tiny, then they all even out. My DS in Yr 8 has some friends who are huge and look like they should be shaving and others who are tiny and still look like Year 6 at primary school. So it is completely NORMAL.

mumto3boys - I was he same as your DS. Weighed 6 stone and about 140 cm on my 12th birthday, almost no pubic hair and was not really shaving. I looked really young and was mocked and felt embarrased.

By the time I had my 13th birthday, my voice had broken, I no doubt smelled bad, I had hair everywhere and had a full adult male sexual function and sex drive. That rapid change from boy to man in one year was incredibly difficult to deal with.

At 18 I weighed 13 stone just under 6ft and played Rugby in the 1st XV and no doubt your son will be just the same. If he does not develop noticeably in the next 12 months then perhaps get a GP appointment. Otherwise do not worry for the time being.

Your DS just needs your love and support at the moment (which I am sure you are giving already) and more especially when he suddenly begins to change to manhood.

Slayerette I didn't know you were a teacher!

They do vary a lot at that age. Mine had a real growth spurt at 14yrs-they almost seemed to shoot up overnight!

wow, thanks so much for all your replies. I did mention it to the gp yesterday as I was there with my other DS but he said he would need to see him.

Thanks for your reassurances. As there are others in his year that are the same size, I am sure he is ok, but when he says he is getting upset, its quite difficult.

For my sins, cornsilk, I am I took it up to earn some money while I worked out what I actually wanted to do - that was 13 yrs ago - turns out teaching was what I actually wanted to do!

I have 2 sons who both hit puberty and growth spurt at the age of 11. They therefore started their growth spurt from a lower height. They towered over the other boys and had deep voices etc before anyone. However the older one, now 17, is an average 5ft 9 having not grown since he was about 13 and appears quite small in school photos etc. The younger one (14) has probably stopped now at 5ft 8 and is being overtaken by most. So don't despair, once he sets off he'll probably overtake quite a few of the big ones and get his come uppance.

ds1 is 12 and a half too and doesn't seem to have grown for about 2 years - he's taller than your son, but very much smaller than many of his friends. His voice also hasn't broken, no sweating and as far as I'm aware no extra hairy bits (not that I've inspected too closely!)

It's a particular issue for him as he's a competitive swimmer and at this age the difference in speed between the boys who've hit puberty and the ones who haven't is enormous

he's beginning to despair that he will ever grow ... however, dh is 6'4" so I keep on telling him he's unlikely to be short in the long run, and his swimming coach says the later they have the growth spurt the better

so from our perspective, your ds sounds completely normal!

my ds was very small - i am a short arse . his twin dd was always taller - towered him by a full head at some points. it really began to get him down

i secretly hoped he wold grow tall - everyone said he would - but tbh, deep down inside i thought he had the custymidget gene.

to prove he was actually growing ( as its something so slow its hardly tangible) i literally got a knife - and measured him on the door post

there were times when he grew remendously - and he could see it.

now he is taller than his sister by about 3 inches. and he towers me - i am chest height on him

My DS will be 14 in August and he is only 148cm much smaller than most of his friends. He is going to be taller than his sisters though, and me. He has not much chance of being really tall since I am only 5'1 and DH is 5'6.
My children have all been teased about being small but they now just accept the nicknames of minime or microchip and it can sometimes be useful being small. For instance when trying to dishonestly pass for being a year younger! That is until DS2 pipes up 'but I'M NOT 5 I'm 7!!!'

I have 3 boys, all fairly small for their age. My eldest DT1 is a good 6" shorter than his twin who is almost my height, and is mighty pissed off about it - and fed up with people's comments. I really feel for him, because it must be hard enough people saying you're small, but forever comparing you to your twin is agony for him. We have their friends back here quite often and they are all huge, hairy and manly and it's really quite intimidating!

He has seen a consultant orthopaedic surgeon and has something called Osgood Schlatter's disease, which is a growing thing - the consultant weighed and measured him and said that he was fine and in fact that was his height at that age (14), the consultant was a good 6 foot!

My youngest is 10 and small for his age, although he weighed nearly 9lb at birth, but he's not the smallest boy in his class and although he complains a bit isn't too fussed yet.

If you are concerned then do get it checked, I feel much better for having been reassured although it wasn't why we went to the consultant, but if you and DH are a reasonable height then there's no reason why he won't get there in the end.

DH was under 5' at 16 when he left school. His Dad took him to the Dr who said not to worry he would grow into his (enormous, dinner plate, 12cm across) hands. At 17 he had a 3 month growth spurt. He is now 6"2'.

Would be really interested to hear how tall your sons ended up being? My 12 year old son is 139cm. Really concerned as he’s so short compared to his peers and still a little boy with zero signs of puberty.