A topic from another thread that seem strange to me as a parent of teens

[FleurDelacour]

I find the frenzy over micromanaging what small children eat strange. This thread here leaves me reeling. Looking at your teens and their friends can you tell which ones had the easy going parents and who had the strict parents foodwise?

me too - its a culture thing now though isn't it -something that i certainly wasn't caught up in. i remember clearly pouring out 5p puffs onto the high chair tray

my kids haven't got any fat mates. its becuase they skate, bike, walk everywhere.

they dont stay in on games consoles unless they are grounded

It does all seem much more stressed than it did when DS was small - maybe it's just because I didn't have the internet then, so I only had magazine articles and other mothers to wind me up about what I ought to be fretting about?

LOL at 5p puffs. My kids don't have any overweight friends either. They all look great yet the parents vary in their regimes. I wonder if teenagers rebel against strict regimes or whether parents mellow. Certainly they all eat the same sort of stuff as each other now.

I think it was miles more relaxed even just ten years ago. I don't remember any edicts from school or comments from parents about the suitability of food items for distribution.

mine goes out all the time. all his mates are skinny even though they eat like mad.

anyway i said my piece on that thread

I agree, I actually think the weaning board should be banned, it just seems to fill everyone with worry and scaremongering. I don't remember anyone really having weaning problems when my two were babies.
I was also thinking this evening about all the micromanaging that goes on in some peoples lives, where nobody else is allowed to have an interest in their children.

Everything in moderation, as my Gran would say.

I think if you get to the stage that a glass of Coke is some sort of parental procedural breach you're losing sight of the fun parts.

There are principles that are worth upholding strenuously, and then some, like food, that can be bent.

I may be very wrong and out on a limb on my own here, but I can't help thinking that all these things that you must do as a new mother these days, contribute to PND. It must be so, so hard to be a new mother now. So much pressure to get it right. It must go some way to panic new mothers into thinking they are crap and getting depressed about it?

Even from be pg I remember, I got pg, doctor confirmed it, midwife said I'll see you in nine months. End of. These days, you are doomed from the outset! All these figures and statistics must scare the pants off mums-to-be! No wonder they are nervous wrecks by the time they become mothers!

Sorry Totally of topic, I think!

Looking back, the friends that I had who were overtly food obsessed all had the AK cookbook. Methinks there may be a link.

I had an AK book, but I just like cookery books . I don't think I actually ever made anything from it

Can I just say, as a relatively new mum of a 1.5 year old, that I'm glad to hear you all talk about the food issue. It is stupidly controlling these days, and MaureenMLove you're so right about all the pressure to get things right can drive you barmy! I must admit though, I did seek out ALL the info I could, as I'm a bit studious sometimes, and freaked myself out. I have, however, gotten over myself now, and am relaxed about food. I don't buy my lo sweets - she is only wee after all, but I don't want her to miss out on lovely foods either, like cake, biscuits, the odd chip, a bit of chocolate. That's what life is about. Everything in moderation, is so right.

Agree Maureenmlove - I remember being pregnant and there were some vague mentionings about not drinking a lot - remember the midwife saying a few pints of guinness would do more good than harm! Also remember reading something about avoiding pate. But that was it - avoiding. Now there seems to be an absolute blanket ban on eating so much stuff whilst pregnant.

Also some friends who have babies now are so fraught about the whole weaning thing -when to do it, ow to etc. And I have read emotive threads on here about people who dare to wean at 20 weeks or whatever - a couple of weeks early. And if you wade in and say 'well back in the day everyone weaned earlier - I weaned dd at 13 weeks and she is now perfectlt healthy at 13 years old and a fantastic eater' you will get people quoting guidelines, and how early weaning can lead to digestion problems in later life.

I kind of knew to ignore guidelines when pregnant - at the start of the pregnancy with dd the guideline was to put babies to sleep on their front to avoid risk of choking. By the time she was born it was put babies to sleep on their backs to avoid cot death (I may have got this the wrong way round but you know what I mean!)

I remember my PFB years - I joined a new toddler group, and I asked the girl in charge of drinks that week (who went on to become my best friend) to put the kettle on.

"Oh, does she want cozy juice?" she asked, looking at DD.

I fingered the fennel teabag in my pocket, and had an epiphany - DD had cozy juice, my sphincter relaxed by several degrees.

I used to worry about what my toddlers were eating (10-15 years ago) until a paediatrician very wisely infomed me that he had not yet come across a malnourished child in NW london and to chill out.

I admit to taking them to macdonalds about once a week for a time and using lollipops to stop tantrums!

They eat everything now as teenagers and are probably more concerned about a healthy diet than me.

One story comes to mind when we were on holiday and they were about 6 and 9. DH and I wanted to go for a pizza, but they insisted on going to the local fish restaurant!

in our house we aim for a healthy diet, but certainly no micromanaging..

on route to work i pass a corner shop, it is usually crammed full of teenagers spending their lunch money on sweets .. i bet they go home and tell their mums they had lentil soup for lunch at school

DS (14) is not too bad on the diet front.. although on a day out with friends he did once eat a whole 'family bucket' from KFC. its not somewhere we ever go (dh, and dd are veggies and i don't really like chicken) so it did make me think that maybe having been 'denied' KFC had made him covert it more? also he is a greedy sod has a healthy appetite but is very sporty/skinny

My biggest nutrition concern these days is persuading eldest DD that if she insists on drinking alcohol, it should be beer or wine rather than alcopops or vodka!

Although my brother is the same age as me, he has a baby and three year old twins. Spent a day with them last week and found the whole thing traumatic. His GF has just been persuaded she doesn't need to measure portions any more and was horrified that we had white bread and full fat milk in the house. The conversation seemed to be entirely about food intolerances, what they're allowed to eat etc - makes me realise how slapdash I was feeding my two prawn buhna!

My ds is 15 and has been fed a healthy but varied diet which I didn't really analyse and certainly never vetoed any party foods or sweets from grandparents etc etc.There is a lot more pressure now to discuss it all ad infinitum rather than just get on with it.My ds skates 2 hrs a day after school and all day sat and a bit sunday so is skinny minny.He has a varied group of friends rich poor fat thin home schooled etc etc and now they all eat the same left to their own devices-crap!

yes totally agree

the world has gone mad when it comes to child rearing-or maybe it's just on mumsnet

Absolutely agree too. Mine are 22,20, 13 and they ate sweets, sugar, full fat milk, meat etc and I drank wine two or three times a week whilst pregnant (and I, too, ate what I wanted). They are fit, healthy, thin, above average intelligence, still have their teeth, and are absolutely fine. They all eat anything now with no food hang ups at all.

All the teens/ young adults I know who were fussy eaters when toddlers, or were the offspring of worrying parents, all eat perfectly normally now.

I do think all this information is a bit of a double edged sword. I would have been a gibbering wreck had I had to contend with all this 'advice' . But, on the other hand, sites such as Mumsnet would have been a godsend to me in those awful early weeks of having the first baby, when I had never even held a baby.

agree totally

ds1(14) is a rake ds2 (10) is a plate rack dd (5) will be when she finds the out doors!

I will also admit that ds1, ds2 and dd were spoon fed our dinners mushed up and ds1 has his first solid at 8 weeks old ( really runny baby rice!)on the advise of an HV !!!

I like to nurture a bit of healthy eating.. but a little bit of everything is fine.

I know I don't belong here as DS is 5 and DD is 3 but I feel I am pretty similar on a food front to the people on this thread