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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

anyone online....am sobbing. DD1 wnet to pics with friends, they plied her with alcohol, and the police found her slumped on the beach alone, with no shoes or cardie, compley drunk, and bag stolen

273 replies

psychomum5 · 24/05/2009 01:14

containing her purse, mobile and new ipod touch that I bought her with my car accident money.

she is not rousable and shaking or vomiting.

help please

OP posts:
ilove · 24/05/2009 11:54

Glad she's ok and that you're calming down. Maybe get her to save the other half of her pocket money for a couple of weeks for a really basic PAYG phone? Got my sons for £10 in Argos.

differentID · 24/05/2009 11:56

Psycho- just a thought. Where did they get enough alcohol to get that pissed? Because you could potentially have the bars/ shops prosecuted for selling alcohol to minors.

psychomum5 · 24/05/2009 11:56

thankyou all for the hugs and the birthday wishes BTW

the inlaws are now on their way with pressies for DS1 and hugs for me.....I sobbed on the phone when they rang to say happy birthday

still flitting between the terror pic in my head, and the thankful-she-in-ok feeling, but girl in question is groaning on the settee asking why they invented alcohol

AIBU for having no sympathy

OP posts:
differentID · 24/05/2009 11:57

oh yes! HAppy Birthday to ds!

psychomum5 · 24/05/2009 12:00

Diff, not 100% sure on who, but it seems that one of the girls (who has two older brothers in their late teens), managed to get it thru them. not sure if it was the brothers, or friends of the brothers, who think that buying for 15yr old girls is funny!!

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Kbear · 24/05/2009 12:01

I'm emotionally drained for you just reading this thread. Yes, we've all done it, yes our kids will do it but holy crap what a horrifically scarey night for you.

This might be one for all those parents of teenage girls to print out and leave on their pillow to read!!

What the hell, !

differentID · 24/05/2009 12:01

the bars could still be prosecuted if they even thought it was being bought for the girls.

edam · 24/05/2009 12:11

'kin hell Psycho, was clearly terrifying. Am so glad dd is home safe. And clearly chastened.

(Happy birthday to ds btw, dd should ALSO feel guilty for something that could have ruined his birthday and certainly leaves you and dh too knackered to enjoy it.)

mamas12 · 24/05/2009 12:16

psycho I'm so glad that she is safe with you today and it is not as bad as you imagined.
I echo what diff says chase everything, the bar and the older boys need to have a chat with some police officers and maybe a stint in the a&e dept themselves or something, I like to demonstrate consequences.
I admire the way you are dealing with this, re: tears, let it out!

Happy Birthday littly.

Stayingsunnygirl · 24/05/2009 12:24

I am glad to hear that things are getting back on an even keel this morning, Psycho, and I agree that you have handled this exceptionally well.

Letting your daughter see how upset you were and helping her understand why you and her friend were so scared will have made a huge impact on her.

She and her friends have learned a valuable lesson, and without dire consequences.

I hope that you have a good day today, and that ds's birthday goes well.

Flame · 24/05/2009 12:27

Give her a bowl and let her get on with it - no sympathy.

What was wrong with DS2 anyway? Both mine went to bed with temps last night but seem fine today.

BCNS · 24/05/2009 12:45

Psycho.. Have only just seen this. OMG

you poor poor thing. flipping dc's

Happy birthday to ds hope he has a lovely day!

You have handled this really well. mean though it sounds I do hope her hangover lingers on a while.. grrrr
as you say the only thing you can do is start again with the trust thing.

I do so hope that she really has learnt her lesson. ( blimey learnt mine with an incident not half as dramatic or worrying.. so she should do).

thinking of you and hope that your day isn't so bad

LaDiDaDi · 24/05/2009 12:49

Glad that things are getting sorted for you psycho.

FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 24/05/2009 12:52

I'm so pleased she's OK. It can be really difficult to assess people who have been drinking as the alcohol can mask things like a head injury. My brother did this by the way. I think the hangover put him off for a very long time

Yurtgirl · 24/05/2009 12:55

Sympathies psycho, especially as its ds birthday - I hope you sort everything out and that dd realises how upset you are

HeinzSight · 24/05/2009 13:13

Psycho, just come across this thread and read all the way through. WHAT a relief your DD is OK. I can't even begin to imagine what you went through last night.

I think this is a valuable lesson learned for your DD and from what you've said she sounds like the sort of girl who will indeed learn from it. This is something that is v comforting.

Poor you, all this on your DSs birthday too!! I hope he's having a lovely day despite all the going's on and you're able to enjoy this gorgeous weather.

x x

ssd · 24/05/2009 13:28

so sorry op, not read all the thread but what an awful thing to happen

psychomum5 · 24/05/2009 13:33

inlaws been and gone, DH now out with DS1 collecting a child for the birthday, plus the birthday cake that COMPLETELY slipped my mind as regards to needing one.

birthday is going well. DS1 seems as oblivious to it all as only 9yr old boys CAN BE, and is thrilled with his pressies.

oh, and my son can strip and make a bed it seems. we bought him a Chelsea FC duvet cover and he wanted it on straight away. I asked him to wait while doing various things and he decided to do it himself. he is soooooooo proud of himself.

DD1 is still feeling crappy, now in the bath tho as she is full of sand. she is sipping flat coke to bring up her sugar levels, and altho the thought of food is making her cringe, she has more colour in her face finally.

she is sooooo very very very sorry. she keeps hugging me when she is able to, and saying sorry, that she loves me, and she feels so bad about what happened, altho she cannot remember much.

I rang the lady who found her, and said a huge thankyou. the lady in question was thankful it all turned out ok, and said that when they found her she really was in a state, and they felt they could not just walk past and leave her as it was clear she was a young teen (she might facially look old enough, but body-wise she certainly looks younger than she is). they could not get much sense out of her bar DH's phone number that we have drummed into all of them for a long time (for just such a 'just-in-case' scenerio. not that I ever imagine it would really happen.

anyway, alls well that ends well. she is safe at home with us, nothing more damaged other than her pride and head (ie, hang-over head) and sore tummy from the vomiting. oh, and the fact that she has upset us with it all!

another badge in my parenting belt

OP posts:
Kimi · 24/05/2009 13:35

oh p5 poor you, I am so glad your DD is home safe, i do not think you are being unreasonable in the least, even if you do ground her till she is 18

Buda · 24/05/2009 13:40

God pyscho. What a drama. Hopefully this will have scared her and she won't touch alcohol again for a long time.

Did you discover what happened to her friends? How come they left her?

It doesn't bear thinking about what could have happened if someone else had found her.

Years ago a boy who lived near us had a few friends round when his parents were out. They all drank and the friends left. The boy went out into their garage to hide the bottles and fell, bumped his head and knocked himself out. He then vomited and choked. His sister came home and found him dead on the floor. He was 16. She was 18.

Drink is so scary really.

ChasingSquirrels · 24/05/2009 13:40

Psycho, just wanted to post and say I am glad she is ok now.
What an awful night for you all.

psychomum5 · 24/05/2009 13:41

kimi, I am tempted believe me.

am emotionally rung out now, and beginnning to feel ever-so-slightly knackered due to the lack of sleep.

oh, flame...........DS2 was achy legs and mild temp and coughing. assuming it was from excitement of party added to going into the neighbours paddling pool. he is not able to cope with icy cold water! he is fine today, altho is saying he had no sleep due to me shouting at DD1, nowt to do with legs and him sobbing that he needed calpol and a hot water bottle then for several hours!

I have a party for 9yr old boys to do

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BitOfFun · 24/05/2009 13:43

< squeeze for you >

pinkcake22 · 24/05/2009 13:44

glad to hear shes okay psycho mum and u got through it so well, fro my teens i remember the guilt and shame i felt for putting my mum through the stress was enough to teach me my lesson (sort of) i think if you sit down and talk to her properly about the dangers of drinking and also not feel pressured into drinking to keep up with friends. my mum never did this and i think thats why i ended up doing it again. she definately needs some sort of discipline for it i think. but leave it for a few days anyway and enjoy the rest of the day with your son!

psychomum5 · 24/05/2009 13:48

buda, the friends were tracked down on the bus coming home to tell us that they had lost megs, and then the policeman dad went and collected them from said bus once we managed to find them. not sure still what happened from them as when they were tracked down they were hysterical about losing her and terrified of our reaction.

it has been a huge drama. and I feel bad as they were supposed to be staying at my house for a sleep-over, and all this happened on 'my watch'. all us mums had spoken the day before as they were ensuring I was ok with the girls sleeping over before DS1's birthday. I had said yes, and they were all wanting to come home on the bus for the very first time and we all figured that all coming on the same one to the same house would ensure safety-in-numbers type thing.

thankfully no-one is blaming anyone else, as we all agree that this is a 'normal' teen thing to try. all upset with the girls for the lying and the getting so drunk they seperated from megs.(well, assuming so....as I said earlier one of the girls has now gone away. cannot speak for her or her mum at the mo, altho I know her of old - these girls have been friends since starting reception!)

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