Is life with a teenager inevitably hideous?

[Winnie]

Hi everyone, it is good to see this discussion on teenagers... what I'd like to ask other parents is 'is life with a teenager inevitably hideous?'
My daughter is eleven-going on fifteen(at least). She has always been a great kid (but I would say that wouldn't I?) but thankfully everywhere we go people say this too. Since my daughter was a toddler my mother has said, with an air of wishful thinking,'wait until she is a teenager!' I was a hideous teenager (although not by todays standards) but I had a terrible relationship with my parents. My daughter and I have a good relationship which I dread loosing, is teenager angst inevitable? What are your experiences?

If someone had of told me my son would be out of near control when he became 14+ I would never have believed it...As I brought him up with strong boundries, I taught him manners etc,...FORGET IT!!! But its all returning slowely but surley hes 18..

4 years later I can answer my own question: sometimes it is hideous having a teenager in the house!!!!!!

Lol winnie - you still sound pretty sane though so you must've done OK

in my experience teenage girls have their moments
they can be gobby and opinionated
they can be helpful and good
they can be secretive yet trustworth
they can be demanding but they
are all still loveable

My ds is 11 and has just started secondary school.He is getting a bit lippy so this is probably the start I will watch this thread with interest for tips on keeping a cool head

I had a most horrific 2 years with a teenage niece who came to live with us.
Now i have a 2 year old and i have resigned myself to the fact that all teanagers are horrors, uncontrollable, rebellious, with no self control, no morals, no personal ethic and a taste for drink and what ever drug comes thier way.
My stomach churns at the thought of my boy hitting teenage years.
For me this is a foregone conclusion...however, its not a fair assumption is it.
My hubby is a college lecturer and he has to teach the "unteachables" who no one else wants or can control and it has opened up a whole new perspective on teenagers for me.
He argues that i am wrong in my assumptions, that the kids he works with are not essentially bad but need direction, some one to have confidence in them and encouragement.
I am converted, still apprehensive though.

No, I work with teenagers as well as having two and they can be lovely! they can be foul as well but can't we all. Try to remember what you felt like at a couple of years older (imagine your 16 year old brain in your 14 year olds body) and you get something like what they are. That's what the head at our boys school told us and it seems tomake sense. They can be so mature one minute and so vulnerable the next. They can be wonderfully idealistic - our 15 year old won't use any nescafe products at the moment. And they are just wonderful to talk to. Wonderful to keep up to date with current music. In my small experience I think boys seem a bit easier than girls. My son's boy friends come and talk to me but when girls are round they just seem to disappear. Talking to mothers of girls this seems to be standard. Apparently parents are embarassing! And it's great just seeing them grow physically. My little boy now has a 6 pack! It's great. (Most of the time!) Honest!!!

and we do tend to post about the rotten stuff. i dont gloat about how he painted the lobby for me or how he gets up at 6.30am to go to a job in the holidays. how they all run out to the car to bring the shopping in or go to the shop on demand. i dont talk about how lovely it is just to have a conversation with my 15 year old or tell them about stuff - like the vietnam war - that they have no idea about.

how utterly delightful they can be in general. am a lucky person to have such aloving family.

sure i wanted social services to take him away a few months back but essentially they're great.

and the funniest things come at the most serious moments - like a 5 ft 2 woman looking upwards with wagging finger at her 15 year old son and 12 year old daughter.

its great to swap jokes. i get called a poisened dwarf shorty and such by my ginger hubby and also my kids- thats just begging for it - and he gets it off the kids too!
farting competitions. highly exvcellent. is good sometimes

I have 3 teenage girls aged 13, 15 and 18. Although they can be very trying at times and often argue we do also nave some great times and they do usually get on with each other.
My 18 year old has left home and is living in halls. She often texts me and recently asked if I could meet her for coffee.
We have just taken the younger 2 to New York ( eldest is having some money to go towards a unu trip to Kenya) and have had a great time they both enjoyrd spending time with us( although of course we stil had a bit of grumpiness mainly due to jet lag). Befoer you all think we are very rich wer're not this trip was funded buy money frpm my father in law he wanted to give ti to us now instead ogf leaving it to us in his will.
We aso do have some nice ordainary days with all 3 girls.

Message withdrawn

winnie teenagers imo can be hideous yet loveable

the bad points imo experience is that they can be trumped up know it all little beggars

hormones raging from one day to the next-ya afraid to open up your mouth sometimes

secretive behaviour-but they dont realise you were young once and did what they are now up to

backchatting-arggh winds me up

but the good points are
you can have a laugh and a joke

tell them the boring old fart stories of your yester year-which they find interesting

help you out around the house

and most important of all is you can advise them were you went wrong in life and hopefully listen to you

i love them to bits hormones and all

There is nothing like having teenagers in the house - on the whole I love it! I have 2 DDs, one 14 in 2weeks, and the other 17 next Jan. They keep you young - you have no choice if yu want to be involved in their lives!
BUT, they are soooooo selfish - life revolves around them - they will only do anything for you if it is in their interests - we spend a lot of time bargaining! They can be evil tempered, moody, sulky and just plain mean!
Having said that, both mine can also be a delight. My idea of bliss is going clothes shopping with them - they love it, I love it. I love their fearlessness, their strong opinions on the world and what goes on in it. I love their ambition and their ideals.
My DD1's social life means everything to her and I love hearing about the latest gossip at what goes on!
On the whole, the good outweighs the bad, by far, but it is really hard work!!!

plus you can pinch their clothes and make-up