pre teen help please

[kasef]

My oldest dd has just turned 10. the problem we have atm is she keeps wetting herself, we took her out of school because of school policy about going to the toilet and because she was bullied. we thought we had cracked the wetting thing but it's come back, we have tried everything from asking her to go to the loo every hour to taking away things she likes to do we even tried ignoring it but nothing has worked so far. my sil is disabled and wears incontinence nappies so i have asked mil if we can have a couple rather than threatenning to put her a nappy on i want her to see we have them to hand but i feel it may be more detramental. weak bladders run on my side of the family so i know that as soon as i feel the need i have to go, i used to wet the bed which is something she doesn't do, it's just through the day every time i say go to the loo please she says she doesn't need then fifteen minutes later to half an hour she will be wet. normally its when she is busy and i tell her it's not good to do it. i think it's because the school used to tell the kids they couldn't go untill they finnished their work so she feels she has to finnish whatever she is doing eventhough we keep saying go when you need.

does anyone have any ideas about what i should do now please we are comming to the end of our tether with this.

has she been to the doctor to check her out for a urinary tract infection and/or to refer her for physio as that can really help stress incontinence?

I really feel for your dd kasef. My dd is 13 now and had kidney/bladder probs since birth.

First thing you need to do is check her out for wee infection, get it treated etc.

Then explain if you haven't already about the bladder weakness on your side of the family to take away any guilt she may have about wetting. Encourage her to go to the toilet every 2 hours - talk to the school about this also so you have their support. If a child has a medical condition they must accommodate this - you may need a letter from your GP. My dd has been able to go without it being too noticable at school. Just before school, first break, lunchtime, afternoon break if she has one, if not then end of school before she comes home. dd had a laminated note in her pencil case which she could show to the teacher which read "please allow * to leave the room on request due to medical reasons.

When she actually goes to the loo teach her to sit there for a minute longer to ensure she gets rid of any dribbles, get her to lean forwards, this helps.

Also, kids do get totally engrossed in what they're doing ang going to the loo is the last thing they want to do in case they miss out on anything. As she gets older she will realise staying dry is better than having a few more minutes of fun.

Using something like tena lady pads is a good idea. However my dd preferrred not to as she hated having a brick in her knickers. Bizarrely she would rather wet herself and have the trouble of changing when she did wet herself.

Something else to consider - is there something worrying her. a lot of kids wet as a sign of distress even at 10. If she has been dry for a long period and gone back to wetting herself, it's likely to be an infection or if not then she could be worried about something. If she's always been wet during the day then it's more likely to be an underlying medical thing.

we home educate her so going to the loo is not a problem. she does go to the loo while we are out. i have tried explaining the weak bladder thing but she still doesn't understand why i ask her to go to the loo. i have asked if there is anything bothering her but she says no, so i think that the doctor thing may be a good idea, i was reluctant to take her as when i had my problem i was back and forth to hospitals on tablets and being continually checked out, which is quite embarrasing, but i will take her as stupidly i didn't think about water infections or kidney problems.