Just curious really but...

7 replies

XmasLollipopViolet · 21/12/2008 10:26

What are your rules for your teens regarding:
What time they come in
How late they are before you start worrying
Friends who can drive and accepting lifts etc
Giving lifts yourself.

Me, I'm 19, and my answers are:
Usually in by ten at the latest, except Tuesdays when I go to a pub quiz and am in for 11 ish
My family have said they'd worry after 1-2 hours and only if I hadn't phoned home (I always do).
As long as they've passed their test, it's fine, they let me use my judgement and always have done. The only exception was when a friend said she'd drive us to Alton Towers the day after her test (she didn't pass on that attempt) my grandfather especially wasn't happy with that. (I have an odd family arrangement, live with mum, her parents and her brother, no kids yet).
As long as there was some notice, although my grandfather was actually kinder in this respect than my mum is! He'd give me a lift with as little as an hours' notice.

So, your turn This came about because of a conversation I was having with my GP's in case you wondered, I wanted to see if anyone else was this laid back!

OP posts:

ThePregnantMerryYuleWitch · 21/12/2008 18:07

This reply has been deleted

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needmorecoffee · 21/12/2008 18:10

depends on the age. My teens are 15 and 13 so the driving thing hasn't come up and its generally friends parents who run them home.

I'd left home by 19 (didn't drive or know anyone who drove until I was 24) and my mum didn't have a car when I lived at home.

Original poster

XmasLollipopViolet · 21/12/2008 18:32

See I think this is where my family's flexibility has come from. I've not got into trouble before, I've shown I'm responsible and they give me the freedom. When I was 13-16, the freedom was less forthcoming, probably because I, and my mates, weren't as mature.

OP posts:

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 22/12/2008 13:42

I have two DS, 22 and 18. We live very rurally, so our "be home by" rules were governed by the bus timetable. Sometimes the last bus was missed, so I'd have to go collect one of them, but it didn't happen that often. They now both have cars - DS1 is fairly experienced, DS2 only passed his test a few months ago, but he's very sensible and I'm happier that he's driving his mates around than if he were being driven.

AFAIAC, they're both over 18, ergo adults, and it's not for me to set curfews and restrictions on them. (As long as they're behaving like adults while living under my roof, and all that.)

As XmasLollipopViolet said, they showed they could be responsible (most of the time - I've poured each of them into and out of my car at least once in the past ) so that's what I expect. If they'd been totally daft youngsters I suppose it would be a different story. DS2's mate is having rather more "issues" with his parents than I've had with my sons, but it's a different situation.

lonevoiceinthedark · 28/12/2008 12:34

I was the youngest of 5 daughters. The other had very set rules and all rebelled, causing all sorts of ructions.
By the time they got to me, there was only one rule: safety.
I was NEVER told a time to be in by. But I had to explain where I was and who I was travelling home with.
Parents would far rather I came home at 3am in a licensed taxi with a group of friends, than alone in a (perhaps) dodgy minicab at 11pm.

smudgethepuppydog · 30/12/2008 18:12

DD is 18. She can come in at whatever time suits her so long as we know roughly when to expect her and roughly where she's gone. DS is 16 (almost 17) the same rules extend to him within reason, he doesn't drive yet so his 'home time' has to suit whichever one of us is going out to pick him up (rural area , no public transport links at all here).

I start to worry about an hour after they've said they'd be in but aren't. Not that it's an issue because they are both great at letting us know of any changes of plan.

They have one friend who I won't allow them to travel with but then we're not alone in that. Most of their mates aren't allowed in that person's car either.

DD can give lifts to any of her friends. If she needs more than the four seats her KA has she can always borrow her dad's car. DS can't drive...yet.

Tortington · 30/12/2008 18:16

What are your rules for your teens regarding:

What time they come in

ny 19 yo was usually in for around 11- midnight.

How late they are before you start worrying

i never worried - i think i will about my daughter ( sexist, yeah probably)

Friends who can drive and accepting lifts etc

as long as they have passed their test,

Giving lifts yourself.
you don't be late for anything important by giving lifts ( college, uni, work)

Flip