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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Celebration when a daughter started their periods?

101 replies

tatt · 02/09/2008 13:16

most cultures would have some ceremony - just wondered if anyone had done anything different/special for their child?

OP posts:
Original poster
tatt · 02/09/2008 21:27

Mercy thank you so much for the link to the previous thread. I'd searched before posting but missed it in the 500+ posts about periods! If my daughter had felt embarrassed I'd only have had to show her the post about the jumper.....

We settled on the hug, a box of after eight shared between us and a chat about practicalities as I realised that the advance talks we'd had didn't really cover everything.

One day I'll show her the other thread and she can see what she escaped

OP posts:
BloodySmartarse · 02/09/2008 21:38

its slightly alarming to me how incredibly negative some people are about this its not that bad surely?? dounds like the days of it being 'the curse' are not gone at all

my mum was chuffed and made a fuss... i ws 13 and grateful it had 'finally' happened. she wanted to celebrate and i was shy... so i had a sleepover with my closest mates and they knew but we didnt chant round my stained knickers or owt, just had videos and junk food n stuff... was embarassing a bit but nice to be made a pleasant fuss over.

my mum also bought me a gold ring, which was a big deal as we were skint and it obviously meant a lot to her... i was, again, all 'oh mum, youre bing embarrasing' about it, but i was still really honoured to have such a special thing made out of me 'becomign a woman' or whatever... 'course, i lost the bloody ring (arf) about a week later and have been gutted and on the lookout for another one the same ever since to make up for b3ing so crap... but hey ho.

i think its nice to communicate to your dd that its a positive as well as pita the thing... i'll prob never ave a dd to tell... [little bit sad bout that]

fortyplus · 02/09/2008 23:25

mercy - I'm definitely with you. I'm not embarrassed about periods. I'm not embarrassed about having a poo, either, but I wouldn't feel the need to celebrate having one.

I had endometrial ablation a while ago after suffering very heavy periods for years. I was gently warned that I might 'grieve for the loss of fertility'. You must be kidding - I'm ecstatic at not having periods any more! It's the most liberating thing that's ever happened to me!

Quattrocento · 02/09/2008 23:27

What do you suggest? Hanging a soiled sanitary towel on the washing line and all your friends and relatives can come round to admire?

ThatBigGermanPrison · 02/09/2008 23:30

Fuck no. My mum chucked some Bodyform at me. I was appreciative that they weren't Kotex. I read the intructions on the packet as she told me to do.

That was IT. I would not have handled anything more than that. I hate having attention drawn to things like that. I don't mind the whole world knowing I have menstrual fluid coming out of my vagina, but they can stick any song and dance about it up their arse.

fortyplus · 02/09/2008 23:36

What about those towel ads that go on about 'Have a happy period'?

Must've been a man that came up with that one!

As far as I'm concerned, however much I once gloried in my fecundity, there's nothing feckin' HAPPY about fidgeting on my seat wondering if I'm going to have to change my trousers AGAIN

zippitippitoes · 03/09/2008 09:32

i dont get this sadness about people who just take periods as a fact of life ....it isnt sad or terrible to ignore them as best you can

i am happy as a woman so are my dds as far as i know

we can happily leave packs of tsmpax in the bathroom (well actually i did take to hiding mine as ythey seemed to think they were free and they were always gone when i needed them)

and ask for anadin

but no rites of passage required

doesnt mean im ashamed to be a woman

i am just not getting the fecundity excitement

i dont get bb exccitement or xfactor excitement either

AbbeyA · 03/09/2008 11:38

I feel the same way zippitippitoes. I am quite happy being a woman and discussing it in a matter of fact way, it is the rite of passage that makes me cringe. The worst that I heard of was a woman who had got ready a special little box of presents all gift wrapped in red and was planning a party!

seeker · 03/09/2008 11:47

However, the ear piercing idea would nicely get me out of a hole I have dug myself with dd by saying absolutely "not til 16" - and discovering that all of her friends - bar none - have had theirs done already at 12!

WendyWeber · 03/09/2008 14:04

That's partly why I did it too, seeker - it seemed to fit in very nicely all round & both DDs were very happy about it

seeker · 03/09/2008 14:39

Next question - when did your dd's start? Mine is 12, and developing hips and breasts and general girl-shapedness, but no sigh of periods yet.

WendyWeber · 03/09/2008 15:22

DD1 was quite old - about 14 I think - & DD2 maybe 13? (I can't remember I will ask them when I get the chance, I'm sure they will remember themselves )

ethanchristopher · 03/09/2008 20:58

just buy her some pads or tampons (tampons with instructions are ideal*)

ethanchristopher · 03/09/2008 20:58

just buy her some pads or tampons (tampons with instructions are ideal*)

pointydog · 03/09/2008 20:59

I am very positive, just in a more reserved way.

Blandmum · 03/09/2008 21:04

I'm totally relazed about the facts of life stuff. If you have explained it as often as I have, you get like that. As far as I'm concerned they are just a natural part of life.

Just don't have a part of your dd and dance on the mountain tied to her by a red cord (do you dig the symbolism). That happened to my loopy step MIL's neice. When mother could dance no more the cord was cut and the dd had to dance on alone.

I'd have crawled under a rock.

these were white americans btw. this wasn't a traditional anything for them!

Califrau · 03/09/2008 21:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Aefondkiss · 03/09/2008 21:16

Tatt, I agree that it would be a good thing to recognise it as being positive. (without making a song and dance out of it )

I was very embarrassed and unprepared when I started my period at the tender age of 11, and I think that made me feel very negatively about it for a very long time, I have got much better about dealing with my period since I got a mooncup.

I also read the Red Tent, which is very positive about being a woman.

seeker · 04/09/2008 08:41

And when did yours start using tampons?

zippitippitoes · 04/09/2008 08:45

i cant remember when my dds started but it was younger than me

i was well into my 14th year

my dds are 16 months apart but im fairly sure there wasnt that much gap period wise

they would think i was daft if i asked them lol

slapheadsrock · 04/09/2008 10:26

Bit late joining in this thread, BUT, my DD1 has yet to start, but we have given her a book about the next few years, what to expect etc.
She arrives in the kitchen and says, 'Mum, it says here that we should have some sanitary towels in a drawer, along with a little gift such as a big bar of chocolate or a trinket, ready for when I start. The chocolate sounds nice'!!!! If I have my way, the chocolate will be well out of date by the time it is needed!!!! (She is 11.5)

So, have compromised, have bought towels, and a little pretty cosmetic purse so that she can have them in her bag without it being obvious what they are when she does start. Am also going to add a little bracelet. I don't want her to think it is a curse, just a part of growing up, and it is special really. The first one only happens once.

seeker · 04/09/2008 11:42

0y dd has a "kit" she keeps in her bag - it's got a couple of towels, a spare pair of knickers and a couple of wipes. We made it after they had the growing up video in year 6.

I like the idea of marking the event in some way - I think we'll go for the ear piercing idea, although for some reason I hate the idea of her gett5ng her ears pierced!

clarabellabella · 04/09/2008 14:52

Hm. Can't remember my first period, but I remember being absolutely mortified when I had to get my first bra (at 11, which was quite young. They haven't grown since). We had a big family party that evening (not connected) and my Mom decided to announce the bra to my oldest brother, father, cousins and aunt in the kitchen, and then I had to show everyone. My super-pushy aunt then went and bought a bra for my younger cousin (who was 8/9 at the time). That was probably for the best. She was a double D by the age of 14.

mum0f4 · 04/09/2008 17:44

I cringe about when I started mine asI never noticed I had it was my brother who did I was sat on my mums white sofa atthe time stood up and all I heard was "mum Sarah`s S* herself" then to top it all off my mum made me go ask her current boyfriend ( at the time) for money for pads as we had none in who wouldnt give me any umless I told him what it was for.
Oh it gets better this was christmas eve and on boxing day my mother announced over dinner at her boyfriends sisters that I had started my periods!!!!!!!!
An experience I wouldnt wish on my worst enemies let alone my own daughter.
Like the ideas about spa trips and jewellery though

WilfSell · 05/09/2008 15:08

I used to be the person with the crocodile jumper BTW.

Am so proud of it [heh heh]. I am thankful I only have boys though. Never have this dilemma

DON'T DO ANY OF IT.

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