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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Celebration when a daughter started their periods?

101 replies

tatt · 02/09/2008 13:16

most cultures would have some ceremony - just wondered if anyone had done anything different/special for their child?

OP posts:
AbbeyA · 02/09/2008 14:15

There have been threads on here before. I am so relieved that I have a lovely mother who didn't do anything so cringeworthy. Mothers can't get involved in every aspect of their DDs lives. The whole idea is dire!

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 02/09/2008 14:19

i have to say i dont think i would still be friends with my mum if she had made a big deal of it.

if you really want to do something a nice quiet meal just you and dd will be enough.

AbbeyA · 02/09/2008 14:21

Even the quiet meal would be too much!

Pruners · 02/09/2008 14:24

Message withdrawn

onepieceoflollipop · 02/09/2008 14:30

There was a long thread about this a while ago. One of the highlights iirc was having a special jumper knitted that you wore on the "big day".

Generally most of the mners on the thread iirc were against making it into a major celebration.

Perhaps a small, discreet treat - chocolates etc- may be nice. I wouldn't want a "period necklace" tbh.

PrimulaVeris · 02/09/2008 14:34

Oh god the whole thought of it makes me cringe eeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww

fortyplus · 02/09/2008 14:43

There was a really funny thread about this a few months ago... I'll go and see if I can find it...

Something about dolls containing a 'sample' of the first menstrual flow...

fortyplus · 02/09/2008 14:45

Here you are...

fortyplus · 02/09/2008 15:07

Menstrual Goddess Statuette...

fortyplus · 02/09/2008 15:08

The Red Party Only in America!

RhinestoneCowgirl · 02/09/2008 15:11

Thanks for the laughs

Seriously, I would have been mortified if my mum had made an issue of it - IIRC she made me a cup of tea and told my brothers not to hassle me...

RhinestoneCowgirl · 02/09/2008 15:13

Have just skimmed the Red Party link fortyplus - those crazy yanks eh!

fortyplus · 02/09/2008 15:17

Mad, eh?

BoredyHouse · 02/09/2008 15:21

Don't you naysayers think it's a bit sad that periods are something to be cringed about? It's not a universal human instinct to be embarrassed about periods; it's a result of living in a misogynistic society where women are conditioned to feel ashamed of their bodies and of the evidence that they have the power to create human beings.

OneLieIn · 02/09/2008 15:23

I think a nice spa treat for mum nad daughter would be good.

jojosmaman · 02/09/2008 15:31

Oh god, the misogyny line is sprouting up here as well?! Its embarrasing because everything is embarrasing when you are a pre-teen/ teen!! Nothing to do with social conditioning.

I don't know why but I immediately thought of Judy Blumes Are you there God its me Margaret? Did she have some kind of celebration or family meal when she started in the book?

BoredyHouse · 02/09/2008 15:58

jojo - again, there is no universal human instinct to be embarrassed about "everything" as a teenager. It is social conditioning.

msdemeanor · 02/09/2008 16:11

I imagine it's pretty universal for teenagers to find their parents mortifyingly embarrassing. Is that misogyny too?
In my experience they are as embarrassed about their dads as their mums. And I am sure boys would equally cringe at the thought of a big ceremony with their parents to celebrate anything to their genitalia.

Mercy · 02/09/2008 16:15

Martianbishop has a story re celebrating the first period, I'll see if I can find it

DrNortherner · 02/09/2008 16:20

Can't beleive people are suggessting a spa treatment an dspecial lunch and stuff.

Surely a chat and a hug would more than suffice?

But, having no dd's what teh heck do I know?

DrNortherner · 02/09/2008 16:21

Do I take ds for a pint or summat when he has his first wet dream?

Mercy · 02/09/2008 16:25

Another thread re first period

Dr Northerner, there are a few suggestions for boys in the thread!!!

AbbeyA · 02/09/2008 16:27

It isn't the periods that are something to be cringed or embarrassed about, BoredyHouse, it is the womanly chats with your mother that are cringeworthy. There are too many parents who don't give privacy, and want to be involved in every aspect of their DCs lives. I could talk to my mother about anything but I wouldn't have wanted her making a big deal about it.

BoredyHouse · 02/09/2008 16:52

msdemeanor - IMO that is a social rather than biological phenomenon.

AbbeyA - what do you mean by "womanly chats"? Does that include chats about hair and make-up? I suspect you're referring specifically to chats about puberty, and it is sad that they are regarded at "cringeworthy" in our society.

IMO our society is much more accepting of male sexuality (and the signs thereof). Think of all the many teen comedy films with gags about erections and spunk. I can't think of any that give a similar treatment to periods. And why? Because like it or not periods are still deemed as dirty and unmentionable. And why is that? Because it we still live in a male dominated society and since time immemorial it has suited men to put a negative spin on the outward symbol of women's powerful fertility.

msdemeanor · 02/09/2008 17:24

I am not so sure BoredyHouse. I think there are good biological reasons for adolescents to want to separate from their parents as part of the journey to adulthood. and even if not, we DO live in society, and embarrassing our daughters in order to make a point about society seems pretty extreme. I am not at all sure that fertility is so 'powerful'. All too often it's what kills women. Fertility in nature never confers power.

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