Teenage boys, cars, the driving test and giving lifts

[Lilymaid]

DS2 is 17. He will learn to drive but we will not permit him to accept lifts from his friends or give lifts to his friends until they have a reasonable amount of post-test (and that includes Pass Plus) experience. I think this is reasonable - judging by road accident statistics and personal experience - though I accept that I can't enforce this 100%. So am I being reasonable or unreasonable?

Very reasonable - groups of young men in cars are very bad statistically speaking for RTAs. Even ones who are careful on their own are easily distracted by friends who don't necessarily have enough road sense to know when not to distract the driver. My DS is not quite 15, but I think we'll have a similar rule when the time comes.

Thanks - I wish there was legislation that newly qualified drivers were not permitted to take passengers unless at least one passenger was over 21/had passed test at least 3 years/had no points against them.
DS1 managed to roll my car over in a field within a fortnight of passing the test. He was alone, hadn't drunk any alcohol/taken drugs and the road conditions were fine. He must have taken a corner too fast for his level of experience. Result one written off car, one very upset son (no physical injuries). He hasn't driven since, but is now going to take more lessons and will hopefully be far more sensible this time round.

Well, at least he learned without getting injured in the process! I think there has been talk of changing the law, but I've not heard anything about it for a while so it has maybe ben dropped. But I do think it would reduce the accident level.

Is there not a law like that now, Lilymaid? Maybe I just recall them talking about it but not actually doing anything. I think you're very wise to make that rule wrt your ds. Where I live, it's a veritable slaughterhouse of youngsters killing themselves/friends in cars. It makes me so

YANBU. There was an awful case here a few years back, where the yp had been very responsible and NOT driven back from a party, as they had been drinking but stayed the night, drove back next day but because road was unfamiliar and car handling differently as full, terrible fatal accident. Since then freind's son wrote off a car, turned it over, ended up in a field, several pasangers but thank god no one hurt, it is one of my top fears re dcs...

Perfectly reasonable. ds1 passed his test a couple of years ago and ds2 is just learning. Some of ds2's friends who recently passed have already crashed their cars. One was very lucky to escape unhurt - dh who is a firefighter was called to the scene of that one.

There was talk about a law disallowing young drivers from taking passengers but I don't think anything has come of it.

Sensible but not sure its enforcible, when are you going to say 'ok, Paul has now been driving 3 months, you can get lifts with him.' And if so surely he'll just say he's had a lift with Paul when he's really been with someone else.
However if you're willing to do picking up, dropping off, turning out late at night etc then he's more likely to turn to you for lifts so won't go behind your back.

I think with regards to him you can def make sure he goes about driving sensibly. So many of dds friends passed their test and took off that same night with a car full of friends for a drive. She wasn't allowed in car that day as she was so hyped about passing she wouldn't have been calm enough. The next day she was allowed out alone for a quiet run around the country lanes by herself. She then drove the family around a fair bit (this is where they're useful ) so she could get used to the difference of driving a full car, driving at night etc. She didn't do pass plus as her instructor never mentioned it but get your son to do it, and hope his friends do also. Good luck!

YI agree that enforcement of the no lifts rule may be difficult. Certainly DS1 got lifts back from town (12 miles away) from friends before they were 18 and we were a little worried but not as worried as now (4 years on and a little wiser). DS2 knows why I'm being so strict, but for the next year, before they all go off to university/gap years, I shall try to ensure that he gets plenty of driving experience both before and after he passes the test. He can have a lift from us or taxi if he leaves town after the last bus home - just after 11 pm.
After that, when he is at university he will have to use his own discretion!

DS is coming up for 17, and we have already been thinking about this. It would be logical for him to drive himself and dd to school and back (about 22 miles), but I really don't think I could bear it!! He speaks very sensibly about driving, but it's a different thing when you're behind the wheel. Still trying to work it out - but we will certainly have strings of rules!!

I'm going to be 17 in november and am going to start my driving lessons and the get my car for my 18th which i'm planning will give me enough time to practice and practice some more!

BabieWabbit - Girls are far less likely to have accidents than boys, fortunately, as they don't try to impress their mates or behave aggressively towards other drivers. Always remember that when you are driving you should give full attention to the road, not to the chat of your friends in the back! Good luck.

Thanks Lilymaid
I'll be sure to keep my eyes (and ears) on the road at all times

Lilymaid i think your plan sounds very sensible. My ds is only 6 but I worry about thsi already.

We just want them to be safe don't we?