Help! Teen DS bored already!

[Syrupent]

Less than a week in to summer hol, DSs bored (aged 12 and 14) X-box in danger of overheating!! We are only away for 1 week so got nearly 5 wks to kill at home. Suggestions such as swimming, walks, bike fall on deaf ears. friends visit only about once a week and all they do then is play on the X box some more. DS1 even asks me to go to the shops for him as he is too lazy (5 mins walk). Even the garden is a foreign land- any ideas before they emerge blinking in the light come September????

I feel your pain. Ds broke up yesterday. Today, because his dad's severely restricted PS3 use (long story) and banned WoW altogether, DS has nothing to do.

By 8am, he was saying stuff along the lines of "Some holiday this is going to be".

Aaaaargh. His dad's supposed to be taking him camping for a week, he's going to PGL for a week and another week with us in Devon (which will be "soooooo Boring"), leaving 3 weeks. All his mates are going on holiday at different times to us so I'm struggling to arrange dates for him to meet up with them before the last day of term.

When I were a lass I would have been quite happy reading books all day in the hammock in the garden, now they expect entertainment 24/7.

Sorry that wasn't very helpful, was it? No ideas, just a rant

Rants Ok!! Just realised DS2 was desparate for a book so he ordered it on my amazon account and ticked express delivery- £8.99 for a flipping paperback!!!!

Tomorrow I've arranged to take him and his mate to one of those pools with big tube slides (I'm at work & will pick them up & they can wander round the town for the last hour or so).

Agree with Sally on organising things for them, left to own devices DS would be one of the blinking, dead white zombies described.

Syrupent, do you know you can get books really really cheaply from Amazon marketplace? They're sometimes second hand, sometimes new. Only prob is you're not guaranteed next day delivery.

At this age you sometimes have to tell them what they are doing rather than suggest.

Some ideas:

Tell them they are cooking dinner once a week (once each or a joint venture depending how cooperative they are) - help them choose recipes in advance, get them involved in shopping for it and then let them loose in the kitchen.

Is there a gardening project you could get them to do? My dc's (same age) have spent a considerable time this week digging a pond in the garden.

Camping in the garden is another thing that sometimes appeals and gets them outside a bit.

Rather than suggest a swimming trip, tell them they can either go swimming or a bike ride or a walk (their choice). Then take them to the cinema after as a treat.

Have they said they are bored?

Can't they decide what they want to do? If they want to xbox for a week, why not? They've just finished school. Maybe they just want to zone out for a few days. Perhaps after a while they'll decide they want to do something else. Or have they already asked you for suggestions?

Just to say to the OP, you are not alone; my 13-year-old DS would play on the PS3 all day if he could. I also have an 11-year-old DD who is happy to be out and about all day with her friends (swimming, shopping, going to the park, etc).

Fortunately, this morning I bumped into the mum of one of DS's friends who said her DS was slumped in front of the TV. So, I made my DS go and call for this friend, then I booked them a tennis court for this afternoon which I know they will enjoy but would never take the initiative themselves. I also told my DS, no PS3 unless he ventures out a bit more (I'm past caring if it costs me a fortune in activities).

But, I really do empathise, it's hard work and very frustrating

Get them to write a list of all the things they wanbt to have done before the end of the holiday

Then they will be focused into what they wabnt to do

iyswim

Another plea....what do I do with a 12 yr old (almost 13) who is too young to be left alone while I go to work 40 miles away, friends are all miles away (we're rural) and the only holiday club that'll take him (due to age, no other reason!) he hates as it's full of screeching 8 year olds?

I had week 1 off, took them to my parents, they're off to other grandparents next week, we have 1 week together on holiday so still thsi week and 2 more to fill.

It was so much easier when they were little....

Thank-you. Rant over.

I am going to sound like the original knit your own yoghurt ubermum - sorry, but I'm really not, and my children are younger than yours (7 and 120 so this may not work.

Last year, my dd was revising for the 11+ so we did something she called mummyschool. It just meant that we did a bit of structured work every day when we weren't actually going out somewhere. We didn't just do formal school work, we did other stuff as well that is kind of "educational" And to their and my amazement, they enjoyed it! So we decided to do the same again this summer.

Yesterday, for example, they did DT (putting up their new tent in the garden by themselves no help). Then they had literacy hour (lying in the new tent reading books and eating biscuits). Then we watched Bargain Hunt (Antique Appreciation). The we did some maths (10 minutes max). The we baked a cake (food tec) And now their dad's taken them swimming.

Tomorrow we're going to visit Grandma, and on Thursday we're going to the beach, but Friday we're home again, so we'll do something similar. Minimum input from me, but a bit of structure and they feel they've achieved something.

Ha! think yourselves lucky that your kids only have 6 weeks hols. Here in Ireland the secondarys are off since the last week of May!

My ds 15 is at the stage of hanging about the park with friends, playing football, etc. and happy enough to do so. But the 14 year old isn't at that stage, and I am finding it tough going. He does spend too much time on the computer and playstation. And then I drag him along if I go out anywhere just to punch in some time. Luckily he loves to read.

But from talking to other mothers it seems that most teens are "vegetating" most of the time during the holidays. And they do need some time just to do nothing as the school year is quiet structured with school work and extra curricular activities.
I found last year with my older son that just planning a few activities for the week was enough. Like swimming one day and a trip to a touristy place another day.

I ignore any claims of boredom and limit screen time, and I give them lots of jobs to do.

They some make their own fun.

agree squeaky pop, first cry of "i'm bored" is offered the opportunity to
empty dishwasher
tidy playroom
hang out washing
or watch the clouds
however have a bit of sympathy with ds1 who managed to get hit by a car on first day of hols and has three broken bones and dislocated shoulder so is allowed a bit more gaming and a "tiny" bit of i'm bored

Had a nice day yesterday with ds (13), as it was my day off work.

Went to the shopping centre, he spent about an hour in the Apple store windowshopping for birthday pressie, then H&M, Starbucks/watching the world go by.

Then chilling out in hammocks in the garden, just chatting.

As they get older, it's nice to do more adult stuff, imo.

DD (12) is about to set off in to town having planned some cooking (is making lasagne and cake). have given her some cash. she's made the list and will shop then come home and cook. I'm off to work so won't have to clean up .
DD2 has gone off to play at a mates house.

i'm thinkng of next time they say they are bored will get the small tent out of the attic then let them pitch camp in the garden and leave them to get on with it without any direction from me (so it will take longer).

am also planning a few trips out to free museums.

and another plan - getting them a couple of diposable cameras then sending them out to take photos of anything then using photos to do something ary with.
although both DDs are younger than teens and so can be more easily distracted i think.
they are also doing alot of DSing and Wiiing

We have 8 weeks Summer holidays so last year I let my 3 choose one week's paid activity each. DS1 (14) learnt to surf, DS2 (9) did pottery and DD (5) went to gym club for a week. I found that it broke up the holidays and will do the same this year.

Last holidays I told DS1 that if he didn't organise anything for himself he could come to the playground with his younger siblings. He soon got off his ass

Mine are older 17 and 16 and we are at work so they are really up to their own devices. DS1 is out all the time. DS2 is in nearly all the time playing on the computer. Weird how different two boys can be. Only similarity is they don't get up till lunchtime and they don't go to bed until the middle of the night!

Once they're older and get jobs it's so much easier to find stuff to do. Take me and my friend (unnamed because that doesn't seem to be the done thing on here, or is it? I'm so new). This holiday we have:

Gone to Alton Towers 3 times (my free tickets from working there)
Been to the Spa at Alton Towers (I get a discoutn but it's not that expensive anyway)
Been shopping
Been to the cinema
Been for lunch and gone bowling

We've got plans to:
Go to Manchester for a day of shopping
Go on another spa visit
See some more films at the cinema
Go to her house and have a DVD day
Go swimming (must ring pool to find out about access).

All these things don't cost tonnes (apart from the Alton Towers stuff and Manchester obviously) but can be done by independent teens, I'd say from maybe 14 up?