Feeling hated

[Mum3boys81513]

Hi.
This is my first post.
I have three boys a 15 year old and a 13 year old with my ex partner and 8 year old with my previous partner.
I haven’t given my 15 year old the best life me and his dad broke up, his dad met someone else had a child and cut contact with me. So it turned a bit messy. He is back on the scene now after a while with a holiday booked(the first one in 10 years since we split he’s taking them on).

My new partners mum killed herself so for two years we lived with my partners dad while the house swap and renovations were going on that was awful, and last October he lost his best friend to a farming accident.

understandable he has had issues, but has come along way doing so well in school and football. He just hates me.

He was begging for oasis tickets which I argued with my new partner about the cost. We were going to give them for Christmas.

after a great parents evening and doing so well lately I decided to tell him as a suprise we have some tickets and he point blank said I don’t care I don’t want to go with you anyway.
I am probably sounding a bit many but this behaviour is constant I take him everywhere, have been there through everything unlike his dad.
we want to IBiza in the summer that was awful for him worst holiday ever, now his dad is taking him it’s going to be the best.

just feel like I have lost him and our relationship is non existent I read having a teenager they are moody but I just feel I’m his emotional punch bag and skivvy.

sorry for the easy. Just feel so lonely with it all.

That sounds rough, I'm sorry for you OP. How are things with your younger kids? But yeah, you're there all the time so you get the moods. I guess with his dad it's a case of the grass is always greener. No doubt if he was there most of the time his dad would get most of the attitude.

D'you have to go with him? I can't think of many 15 year olds who want to go places with their mum tbh.

Ive a 13yr old and he was such a loving affectionate child, we used to have the best bond but like yourself our relationship has gone. He hates everything about me, if i start talking baby to the dog hes shouting shut up, eye roll, tutting, slamming bedroom door. Recently hes like dad is cool but you are the problem, I laughed in his face, im a problem well tough luck. I think because my husband isnt very strict, my son loves the freedom but if left to be free he wouldnt go to school, just sit on his xbox. Plus it doesnt go down well that i control the xbox/phone time limits. I try to pick my battles and let natural consequences take hold. I think they are just trying to buck authority but i went to a prize evening yesterday and other kids were chatting to their parents, mine walks 10 paces behind us with a face, like you he has everything, we live a good life. I often wonder if this is just teen stuff or does he genuinely hate us. Some days im exhausted and feel like saying theres the door, other days it makes me so sad. Hes doing well at school but now hates school. He will only come on errands if i bribe him with food out. Then hes sucks up and chatty, back home normal service resumes. I literally was sat here thinking in the future when he turns 18, will we ever see him again. He says he cant wait til hes 18 and he can be free, little does he know hes the free est he will ever be in his life, i never say he cant go out with his mates but he would rather chat on line, he gets to go on lovely holidays, tbh hes ruined. The only thing he cant have is social media, which im satan because everyone has social media, ive destroyed his life, yawn!

He's had a lot of trauma in his life, has he had any therapy? Abandoned by his father who's now back on the scene so the child will be fawning to appease him.
Two unrelated males living in his home over the years and new half sibling/s, death of his friend, mother's new boyfriend arguing over a gift etc.
It's understandable he's badly struggling.