Drinking/vaping/parties

[assessingtheworld]

DS has been to a couple of parties where lots of teenagers from different local schools are also going. I understand there is vaping and drinking at these parties. He says he hasn’t done either, but I also know teenagers lie to their parents, I certainly did as a teen. They’re all 13/14 is this just fairly normal behaviour at parties for sociable teenagers? I and my siblings went to parties with alcohol from about 15 onwards, a couple of years older than DS is now. I don’t want to be overly worried if this is just part and parcel. There is a huge halloween party coming up and I just want him to be safe Would you be concerned?

I wouldn't condone it at that age.

But, many do drink/vape/smoke weed illicitly. DD did this over summer (and got found out). Then 14, now 15. I wouldn't allow her to go to parties where I knew it was taking place though, as I definitely do not want to normalise it or be seen to be condoning it.

I'd say 13 is quite young, the parties over here started when they were 14/15, before that it was hanging around in the park. Are they all the same age or does he go to parties with older kids? And yes, there is usually drinking and vaping at the parties.

I'll declare an interest first, I'm Sam and I make vaping lessons for secondary schools. 13 and 14 is about when vapes start turning up at parties so you're not overreacting. What tends to help more than a flat ban is talking through the actual moment. Someone hands him one, what does he say? If he's practised a line that's true for him and doesn't lose face (I'm alright, I've got football tomorrow) it's far easier to say no in the moment. And agree a no questions asked pick up for Halloween so he's never stuck. Hope it goes well