Phone restriction

[Kfor]

We recemtly had lots of problems with our 14 (nearly15) years old behaviour, the trigger was her phone usage. She has refused to do any chores at home for weeks if not months,,or to do any extra studying (they are revising for GCSEs), she has also refused to go on many family putings. Any time the phone was taken away she bacome angry and thrown isnsults at me.
I did try compromises, plans etc, nothing worked.

So as a result I have restricted tiktok for now and implemented a parent link on her phone. I told her once she start doing the few things I have asked her to and put some effort in learning she can have it back.

For 5 days she gaves me a silent treatment and goes to school.without her phone (she takes a bus, so it would be useful if she had a contact with us..of course I am.worried and probably that is why she delicided to leave it.

I am not sure what can be done at this point.

Never though we will have problems like that...

(she looks fine otherwise, has few friends, ok at school etc)

It’s awful but you’ve done the right thing. We can’t put the cat in the bag now but the fact that the government are banning social media for kids demonstrates the danger. Their brains can’t handle it and it is having a huge impact on mental health.

Would she possibly have borrowed a new phone from a friend or otherwise replaced it?

No, she doesnt have it, I can see her friend are calling her on the one that she leaves at home

Have you considered in seeking counseling? This would probability help in breaking the ice between you two.
If only school offer some guidance for parents when it comes to phones that would resolve many problems they, themselves have with children are given phones that make their jobs more difficult in teaching and child's safety.
One parent solution is they don't get a phone unless child signs contract establishment of simple terms. First term is child doesn't own the phone. Second term is they, the parents have full access of phone. Third term, their right to limit screen time and what they access. These are reasonable terms.
With counseling you may get your daughter in accepting these terms. It's a matter children understand having a phone is a privilege, not a right.

If your daughter's friends have phones without any restricting maybe you might need to see if their parents would impose restricting their children usage for their children safety. This would help each of you in protecting these children from harm.