How do you control internet access for your teens?

[somethingerudite]

Please share your tech wisdom, teen parents of Mumsnet. We would like the internet to shut off for DS at 10pm, so he has time to read / wind down and a better chance of being asleep by 11. He's nearly 17 and just starting A levels. We set rules but they slip and it's ending up in arguments - between him and us, and between DH and I - which are really impacting our family life.

I just want technology to switch the internet off in the house for all devices apart from mine and DHs at a certain time every night automatically. This sounds simple but it's eluding me. We have Virgin broadband and it seems that they offer very little in the way of family controls. I've actioned what I can through their app but it requires one of us to toggle the internet on off manually and DS just gets around it, I assume by using a VPN.

How are others doing it?

Its controls on his phone that would be more useful, not controls on the WiFi. Because, I would imagine, he has a SIM card so is able to access mobile data if the WiFi is off.

Family Link would be more helpful. On that (among other things) you can set downtime. This is a time when his phone switches off. Or you can cherry pick apps he can use after that time, if you wish. You can also set phone or app usage limits.

Family Link is a Google app. You have the app on your phone and he has the app on his phone.

That said - restrictions at this age, in my view (secondary DSL and Mum of 4), are better being based on negotiation to aid personal development. As opposed to authoritive.

My third has just started A Levels. He's learning self-discipline, but doesn't have it yet. Phone restrictions are based around him agreeing what would help him, rather than us telling him.

Thanks! Sorry I should have specified it's primarily his laptop that I struggle with. I'd like something that covers his Xbox too as that is internet enabled. I have Qustodio on his phone which works well.

The XBOX Family Settings app allows you to place similar restrictions on the xbox.

Family Link will restrict his laptop.

Thanks, I really appreciate this! I will investigate Family Link - I didn't realise that would cover laptop too. And I totally agree with you that supporting him to make good decisions for himself is the better way. He says all the right things when we talk it through, but in practice his will isn't strong enough. The pattern of multiple polite reminders through the evening, which then culminate in an explosive argument when DH runs out of patience, is wearing us all down.

Just checked and Google's FamilyLink will not restrict a 17yo's usage. Microsoft Family is likely to be better if he has a Windows laptop.

Ive also found this:
https://www.internetmatters.org/parental-controls/broadband-mobile/virgin-media-broadband-web-safe/

We are with EE and on the app, I can set schedules for each device separately or as groups E.g. XBox and laptop, "turn off internet from 10pm - 8am every day except Friday!" The only thing is, his phone can still use data if the WiFi is off so he has to bring that downstairs for the night.