Dad/stepmom issues.

[Skyeblue91]

I have two teenage boys. I’m divorced from their father and he is remarried.
My 16 year old fits in this “box” that is what his dad expects him to be. More preppy, wears preppy clothes, etc.
My 13 year old is alternative. He skateboards and just overall loves the look he has.
His hair is dyed black and pink (his favorite colors).
He wears accessories (rings, bracelets, necklaces).
He is completely “out of the box” of what his dad expected.
He also wants his ears pierced and his dad says absolutely not.
This weekend was his dad’s weekend so he picked him up (my oldest couldn’t go due to work obligations) and took him to get a new phone case.
The phone case he saw and loved was pink. His dad says to him “you’re not getting pink, you’re a fucking boy”. Then they got into religion. This son, in particular believes in evolution. His step
mom and dad proceeded to tell him he will go to hell.

My question for all of you is, what would you do?

Sounds like your son is doing a good job of sticking up for himself.

Does anything need done? Your son can choose not to visit the man if he's not enjoying the visits.

I wasn’t sure if he’s old enough to refuse going. We are court ordered 50/50. But they’ve always lived with me.

Are you in the States, OP, it sounds like it? I think in the UK he would certainly be considered old enough to make his own decision about going but I'm not sure if it's legally different there?

Either way, my main course of action would be to tell him that he's awesome the way he is and to never stop being himself - and the idea that he is going to hell is insane.

I’m in the states. I’m going to look further into it. I always tell him I support him however he wants to express himself. He’s such a sweet boy and has a sensitive heart. I just can’t fathom the way his dad speaks to him.

That must be heartbreaking, yes. You sound like a really supportive mum though.

Thank you so much! ♥️

I knew you were in the States as soon as you mentioned that believing in 'evolution' was a crime.

Presumably your ex and his stepmom are thick as two short planks? Evolution isn't a belief. It's a scientific fact.

Even in the UK, religious schools have to teach evolution as fact.
I saw a YouTube video of Bill Nye visiting the Ark encounter in Kentucky and I genuinely thought it was a prank, until I realised it was a real “museum” and that people seriously believe it! It was sadly eye opening that actual facts can be dismissed so easily for fantasy!

I feel sorry for your son!

Just looked at the Ark Encounter, It’s crazy.
They even say dinosaurs would have been onboard. Dinosaurs wouldn’t have been around.
Can’t fathom people believing this.

How the heck can anyone in their right mind refute evolution? One of these days the US is going to get a President, with his finger on the nuclear button, who adheres to this Creationist nonsense. Just think about that for a moment...🙄

Theory of evolution? So no scientist will say it is 100% fact. That being said, his dad was wrong how he spoke to him and what he said

Theory of evolution? So no scientist will say it is 100% fact. That being said, his dad was wrong how he spoke to him and what he said

We have evidence of occurrences of evolution, which are facts but the Theory of Evolution remains a well evidence theory.

Which is overwhelming, so it's, in effect, fact.

You don’t understand what theory means in science.