Should my daughter ask to meet old friends after two years abroad?

[Goldtree]

I moved abroad and we’re back in the uk now for summer holidays. Dd 15 is moaning saying none of her English friends (who were a tight group they hung about in when they were in school in U.K. together), have asked to see her.

Should she ask them if they want to meet or accept maybe the friendship group is dying? The girls in the U.K. are all still friends, she hasn’t seen them in two years but stayed in contact over WhatsApp.

Is this not up to your 15-year old daughter?

But yes, of course she should. If she wants to. She is the one coming back, so she is the one who should ask to meet up if she is interested, not them.

She should tell them she's back and suggest a meet up somewhere. If they don't want to she will know.

Why wouldn’t she just ask them? I don’t understand why she is asking you and then you are asking us.

Ha I agree I don’t know why she’s moaning. I don’t understand any of it I’m old and trying to stay away from the teenage moaning…

It's really a thing that should be dealt with by herself. Do they even know she's back in the country?

She needs to suggest a meeting. They haven't been sitting around waiting for her to come back, but they might be glad to see her if she offers.

Oh , I feel for her and I would have benefitted from my mum's advice and support to make it happen. Nothing wrong with helping her navigate socially.

Fwiw I think she should let them know she's back and would love to meet up. But I'd also have an open chat with her about how it might feel and how to deal with a response that's less positive than she hopes for.

We aren't all social naturals and teens are doing this all for the first time!

Two years is a long time for a teenager. They may have all moved on but it's worth her asking.

“A thing that she should deal with”

I'd give her a bit of help. It's hard to rekindle old friendships at that age. Between 13 and 15 teens change a lot, and maybe the friendship group has shifted since she left.

I'd suggest she sends a message saying - 'I'm back for the summer and would love to catch up.' Let her suggest a couple of dates for them to come over to wherever you are staying and make it sound like a fun evening.

At that age, my DC and their friends loved a fire pit (if we've had anough rain to make them safe again!) Or just fairy lights in the garden with lots of chairs, rugs, swing, hammock if possible. Jugs of mocktails. Maybe some USA candy or snacks.

Encourage her to think of things to ask them about that will get the conversation going again - UK fashion/music, who they have been seeing etc.

With luck, some invitations will come from that to hang out together for the rest of the summer.