18 y.o. DD on 1st independent trip abroad - eek!!!

[Sober23]

I literally don't know how I'm going to cope. So many anxieties, drugs, drink spiking, sunburn... she's en route to Ibiza, just with 1 other female friend.

I really am looking for some experience and strength from mums who are OK about their kids being grown up and doing what the hell they like. How on earth do you do this???

Needle spiking is indeed much more prevalent in UK - v frequent sadly at my eldest’s uni. But it was a lovely thought from the Mum. With two girls off to uni, I am always emphasising never leave a friend alone and keep an eye on your mates. It’s not even done now to take advantage of a girl, but just for a laugh.

None of this is meant to scare you OP, I hope she has a wonderful time!

Jabbing??? You mean literally injections? Omg.

I wish I was joking. Dd said it was an issue in freshers week they were warned

Yes, happened to dds friend at uni 7pm in a bar. They took her to hospital, after vitals checked she stayed all night and didn’t get seen, left the next morning. You can report it online but she didn’t bother.

Happens to men also.

My 18 yr old is currently in Latvia he's home tomorrow he did had a panic as he neeed a connecting flight from Frankfurt to Riga he's traveled from bham and so proud of him

My DS 17 is currently living it up in Zante and as much as I'm glad he's having a great time, I can't wait for him to come home. I did make him put his location on and it's the first thing I check when I get up in the morning to make sure he got back to his hotel ok. He is messaging every day and to my delight gave me a phone this morning! It's his first time away on his own and his first time out partying so I am really nervous.

It’s not the boys in Zante you need to worry about. Dd said how lovely the English boys were when she was there a few weeks ago in protecting the girls from the horrible gangster type men from one country.

Completely reasonable, she’s an adult.
stop asking. It won’t change anything. We all survived without being tracked!

DS at 17 flew out to New York to see his girlfriend at the time....he was fine. Just leave them to get on with it. WhatsApp is your friend here. They'll get in touch if they need you. DS is now 19 and been abroad several times since independently.

Isn’t it easier having sons? I only have girls but surely it’s less stressful having an enormous lad going off to Zante than a girl?

@JuliettaCaeser Have you never seen groups of drunk lads? Boys can be utterly stupid. Then they hire bikes and scooters and fall off them. Overall I think girls are more sensible.

For reassurance, one of my sons has just returned from Ibiza. He's 20 and went with a friend. He said it was lovely. No trouble at all. No big groups of people. He loved it. He's also been to a few of the other big party places and said Ibiza was by far the best. I hope she has a great time x

Yes there’s that. Girls may be more sensible but the hassle from horrible men you at least avoid with sons. One of mine looks a particular way so gets huge amounts of unwanted male attention. It happens even when we are there. So I do worry more about her than dd1.

Agree Ibiza lovely and girls not hassled there. Unlike Zante. If your dd goes to Zante it needs to be in a large mixed group.

This. I still buy travel insurance for my DS despite him saying he has got it.

No it makes no difference. I have 2 DDs and a DS

Also I guess it’s place and child specific. So the danger dd2 faced on her recent trip would not have affected a lad at all. And they were in a resort so no transport dangers. So if I had a boy I would have been less bothered about that particular trip.

But yes the general worry of road accidents in developing countries and bad decisions is a general one.

@JuliettaCaeser
That sounds pretty bad. Was it outside clubs or during the day? I just looked up news reports on Zante and the reports of sexual assault and rape are quite startling. Glad she was safe.

In general, I don’t think there’s any harm in assessing the risks of a place before going somewhere. If there is a high reporting rate for certain crimes then is it somewhere you really want to be?

On a much more middle-aged note I was invited to accompany my DH to a conference in a European city. I am pretty independent and like to walk about by myself, exploring. The Tripadvisor reports on the local area around the conference hotel were terrible and this was corroborated by other accounts. So I turned down his invite as I realised that it wouldn’t offer me the kind of interesting solo experience I would enjoy. Being cooped up in taxis everywhere is just not my idea of a good trip. I don’t think DH quite believed me but sure enough, one of his colleagues had an attempted street robbery and a female colleague was sexually harassed close to the hotel. God only knows why the conference organisers chose the hotel!

They were genuinely concerned they would be trafficked or attacked by these men. These are not dramatic girls. Every English lad they met there was helpful and many ensured they were protected. Those mothers should be very proud of their sons, Maybe ones on this thread!