18 y.o. DD on 1st independent trip abroad - eek!!!

[Sober23]

I literally don't know how I'm going to cope. So many anxieties, drugs, drink spiking, sunburn... she's en route to Ibiza, just with 1 other female friend.

I really am looking for some experience and strength from mums who are OK about their kids being grown up and doing what the hell they like. How on earth do you do this???

Solidarity, @Sober23
My 18 year old left shortly after his 18th on his own to travel SE Asia for 2 months. Contracted dengue out there, all alone, while I do what I can over the phone to support and help him through it. Now he’s in China, about to go to Central Asia and god knows where after that. As he’s so frugal and has made his money last, I dont expect to see him home until Christmas. It was nothing short of bloody awful seeing him go, but we speak most days and he’s living his best life, which has been so good to see. I constantly tell myself that despite what we read on the news, most people in the world are actually good and kind, which is sort of reassuring and about the best I can do.

Its great that they travel, I would be worried if they didnt want to!

I have 4 dc. The older 2 are 18 and 17 and they have already been to many countries and festivals. I can imagine you feel worried now but I promise that you will feel so happy for them when they come home and have had a wonderful time. The next time will be easier.

Dont call/message them daily. You have done your job and given them roots and wings. They are unfurling their wings and heading off but should know they can come home to feel safe at any time.

No friend’s Mum didn’t go with them, she brought them the scrunchies to cover their drinks from spiking. They were three 18 year olds on their own. Never too early to understand the real risks of spiking, esp as they head off to uni.

Where does it say the friends mum went with them?

It says she brought scrunchies. You bring something to the place where you are, otherwise you've taken it not brought it.

Bought - my error and one that has plagued me my whole life….

Don’t worry @imip Everyone else knew what you meant. PP is just being a pedant. Such a passive aggressive post “oh I thought you meant the mum had gone with them as you said brought not bought”. Bullshit.

It’s not spiking it’s jabbing now so covering drinks is futile. Don’t think a full suit of armour is practicable. And can happen anywhere not just on holiday. Imperative girls have loyal friends and always stick together.

You 100% knew what she meant, you just wanted to act like a dick.

I hate men sometimes.

My 17DS (a bit of a party animal 🫣) went to NZ for 5 weeks in the summer to do a snow related course. He loved it, was well behaved and was pretty elated to be home after that much time away. He had to navigate so many flights going and getting back. It's been absolutely brilliant for him. Set them free, let them explore. If your daughter is sensible, she will be extra cautious and just make her friends are also supportive. Never leave each other is the best friend's moto

Well that's impossible because I still don't know what she means. Does she mean "took"? Does she mean "bought"? What's the point of words anyway?

But thanks for your kind ones.

I let my teen DD go to India on her own. 😊

I just got back from Ibiza and didnt use suncream once- I was sleeping off my hangover for most of the day!

The only thing she might need to worry about is taxis, they're a nightmare at the moment when leaving the clubs so potentially will need to prebook and pay more.

Otherwise she's just doing what all 18 year olds do! Ibiza is relatively safe, yes its a big party island but everyone there is just out for a good time and overall people look after each other. There are a lot of drugs there, but if you're not partaking they won't bother you.

Write your phone number down on a piece of paper and ask her to tuck in in her suitcase safely (in case she loses phone). Tell her to use friend's phone or another phone to call/text you to let you know phone is lost.

My eldest went to a festival 4 hours away almost 16 with friends. My youngest went inter-railing at 17 with a friend. My nerves settled a bit every day and they were both very good at keeping in touch.

It's the next step and a first, and you do get used to it.

Okay. So were you not scared about her getting SAed or SHed constantly? I'm confused now. Some people say "women get harassed since they are children going to school" and others are like "I go out on my own, I'm not scared of any man"

No. We are of Indian origin. She can take care of herself in most situations. Not all of India is like the Golden Triangle.

What difference would it make if she was 18 or 28??

Or are you not going to" let" adults do stuff?

I've travelled solo backpacking round India. Yeah a few blokes tried it on but soon told them to fuck off. If she's backpacking she'd meet others to wander round with

But for all we know she could've been going to stay with relatives

Is your comprehension really that bad? She meant bought. The friend’s mum bought the scrunchies for them to take. Everyone else managed to understand exactly what she meant.

Where in India did she go if you don't mind me asking?

But then I travel solo across the world: India, Turkey, Thailand.
I think your DD will be fine. Would she accept a location tracker?

Southern India. To meet her cousins and extended family.

Drink spiking happens quite a lot in London. Ask them to watch each other's drinks.

Sorry, you already said she won't allow location sharing. That will teach me to read in a hurry.

@friedaklein drink spiking is happening all over the UK, very prevalent in our coastal town, along with being injected. Makes me so angry that there are these low life’s around, just another thing to worry about.