18 y.o. DD on 1st independent trip abroad - eek!!!

[Sober23]

I literally don't know how I'm going to cope. So many anxieties, drugs, drink spiking, sunburn... she's en route to Ibiza, just with 1 other female friend.

I really am looking for some experience and strength from mums who are OK about their kids being grown up and doing what the hell they like. How on earth do you do this???

is your DD normally sensible and organised? if so, why are you worrying? my 18 year old went abroad with a friend this summer - they had a great time and came home with lots of photos and happy memories. no need for stress.

Make sure she has decent travel insurance!! Other than that you just have to trust her. She will have a great time.

My autistic dd went abroad this summer, 4 days after she turned 18. It was a group of three. They had fun, went to bars - but were (thankfully) lightweights!

One of her friends Mum had brought them the scrunchies that cover your drink to stop spiking.

The first independent holiday for your (adult) child can invoke anxiety BUT it’s a rite of passage and you will have been through so many of those. You’ll get through this too! Wish her a lovely time. She’ll have a blast!

Yes lots of us have been there. Got to be done I’m afraid- you’d be worried if they didn’t start doing things without you. Being a parent to adult kids is not for the faint hearted! I just like to pretend nothing is happening. Good insurance like pp said and distraction for yourself if possible.

Thank you, yes I know it's all normal and healthy etc. It's just so bloody hard!!!

She and her friend booked and paid for it all themselves. (She's had a part time job alongside A levels for a year)

I am trying to be laissez-faire about it... I don't even know where they are actually staying. The only thing I know for sure is they are going to see Calvin Harris! She said they clicked the yes to include travel insurance on the booking...

I am "praying" I guess every so often, just asking the universe to take care of her. We've travelled enough together and I've talked her through various things, but I am still anxious.

Mine just got back from abroad aged 17. All was well. Agree message frequency. Ie daily. I was worried but it builds them.

Edited to say I would absolutely want address. I still give mine to someone now.

DS1 went to Malia with his friends when he was that age. I absolutely hated it. I didn’t settle properly for the whole week he was there. We had an agreement that he would message me every day so I knew he was still alive. I was so relieved when he was back home.

When DS2 said he wasn’t bothering with a similar trip I was over the moon.

It’s rare to have all my children in the same country. A bit older but they’ve all been abroad for expended periods of time from mid teens. I’m a stressbucket about most things but this, not so much. Automatic in the family:
•find friends on
•travel insurance docs (just a screenshot)! And photo of passport.
Dozens of trips and the biggest crisis was a lost passport which ubermum sorted because they were in my home country and I could call the airport
I have been able to support with looking things up, text company etc.
They'll sometimes do Polarsteps, but generally the same/ slightly less contact than normal.

She refuses to enable location settings for me, although her friends can all see her in snap. It really annoys me but ends up in a big row when I mention it.

That’s fair enough, she’s 18. I wouldn’t have shared my location with my parents at that age either, if such a thing had been possible.

Mine went to Central America with a female friend travelling round independently for 6 months! So you are lucky!

Mine similar but Equador and Peru. She phoned me once, when there were riots on Peru to see if she was "allowed " to put flights on my credit card. I'd obviously over emphasised that it was only for emergencies (not cocktails)

DD18 just came back from Ibiza, I don’t think you need to worry about sun burn, DD didn’t see the sun after clubbing all night. DD went with a few other friends, couple older who had been before. What they did do is pre book private transfers for after the club nights, getting a taxi can be a nightmare unless you leave early, it costs a bit more but I was happier with this arrangement, DD does leave her location on (Life 360), she’s happy with this, but I never mention where I have seen her or what time she gets in. DD had a ball.

One of mine was wandering solo around Asia at just 18. Gave her some hints on where to go and asked for " proof of life" Facebook messages every couple of days ( before Whatsapp was so popular)

I knew she was a sensible independent girl anyway which helped.

My early holidays in ibiza (a long time ago !) are some of the best memories of my entire life !

I honestly think viewing an 18 year olds location is bonkers. It would increase your anxiety and desire to check what she was doing.

Well done for raising an independent and capable kid !

Also you don’t need to worry about drinks. They are mentally expensive in the clubs. Neither of mine went to Ibiza with pals as too expensive.

Actually you are fortunate it’s Ibiza. 17 year old got back from Greek island dodgy resort had a fab time but the girls were seriously harassed by Albanian gangster type men. Dd airily said “we were so nearly trafficked”. Dh face was 😳. Honestly sounded more dangerous than Central America. You don’t get that in Ibiza op

DS1 first trip abroad was to Magaluf. Yes, incredibly drunk most nights etc. Had a great time, though I was glad when he was back. DS2 first trip at 18 was a month in Italy travelling top to bottom. He had an amazing experience.
It gets easier each year.

Ah come on, would you have let your parents track your every move at 18?

Not really the same thing if her friend's mum went with them.

I don’t think the mum went with them, just brought the drink things for them to use when they were there.

…that’s not what happened.

My 18 year old daughter went to SE Asia (Indonesia, Malaysia and Thailand) before Uni. I travelled a lot as a teenager until my 30s and had lived in the U.S , Asia and Europe before having children, so it didn’t bother me at all. They all bog off to all over the world as soon as they have the means and opportunity… it’s just in their genes I think. I’m all in favour and had a ‘gap year’ in Central America and Asia in my early 60s.. travel is such a mind expanding experience.

My ds is 25 and heavily regrets never doing a wild party holiday after school. Like this.

He's done a few EU holidays by himself now as gone to bars there