Am I being too sensitive

[purplemachine]

Bit of background - my 15 year old son is a good kid, does well in school, never been in trouble, everyone says how polite he is. But…he is also a 15 year old boy! It’s difficult getting him to tidy up after himself, will laze around in the school holidays, can be a bit of a smart ass and thinks he’s always right.

My husband and him often clash which ends in shouting matches. What is upsetting me is how my dh speaks about him after these arguments- “he’s a complete prick”, “he’s a dick”. It’s one thing to criticise his behaviour but I feel it’s wrong to say these things about your child. He doesn’t say these things to his face but ds and younger dd could potentially overhear.

Am I being too sensitive? Is this a normal reaction when things get heated?

Sounds like you’re a bit too sensitive yes. So same for your DH. Sounds like he gets wound up too easily.

I agree with you, using abusive language is never ok simply as it’s behind the persons back,

No you're not being too sensitive! That's a horrible way to speak about his own son ... would he do that at work if there was a disagreement?

I'd be so upset with my DH if he behaved like this. Your son will remember this when he's older. And your DH is also setting him up to carry this sort of parenting on. Not acceptable at all.

How does he resolve disputes with you? Falling out with teens is par for the course but shouting and insulting him isn't on.

He says that I always take my son’s side and also gets all defensive and says I’m saying he’s a bad dad

Well if he’s saying those things he’s not exactly father of the year is he.