Is it normal for a 13 year old to want to stay home all summer?

[AnonMam]

My 13 year old DS (nearly 14) never goes anywhere except with us (and that is at a push).

He's a genuinely lovely kid and he has friends at school, he just never sees them in the holidays. They do live a bit further away, the other side of school so about a 2.5 mile journey but he's happy walking and cycling to school. I've also offered to give him lifts on my day off or weekends. He just says he's happy at home.

He spends more time on his phone and laptop than I'd like but he does also play his guitar a fair bit every day, he's read a massive fantasy book already and is starting another. And he's got really into online chess which feels more wholesome than brawl stars 🤣 He also sleeps in the day quite a bit.

DD is 10 (seems younger as SEN) and he spends some time playing games with her, making Minecraft worlds or playing imaginative games 'in real life'.

DH is home with them but they say they don't want to go anywhere or do anything.

At 13/14 I was out with friends every weekend let alone the summer holidays! I caught the bus into town with friends, went swimming, hung out at each others houses, in parks, spent hours exploring etc.

Is it just not the done thing anymore or is he missing out?

My DD15 has never really gone out, she stays home every weekend and holidays. She has a boyfriend and he comes over once a week but other than that she is never out or seeing anyone. I think it is quite common these days as they can have social connections via the internet instead.

DD is 15 and autistic and from what I gather it is not actually unusual in ND kids to be the same and want to hibernate. I do set up a couple of things for her over the holidays, which she would say she would rather not do, and each time afterwards she is glad she did. Find a couple of his friends and arrange camping or a cinema trip, maybe a beach day and leave him to himself other than that I say. There aren't many years you can laze about for the summers!

No it’s not unusual.

its honestly not that unusual for teenagers these days. i have a daughter who is the same shes always in her room, on her phone. sometimes they are just happier that way. they have their own ways of enjoying their vacation. obviously i would offer fun things to go do like going to a pool with friends, or other fun summer activities, but if they say no, thats that. summer is their time to recuperate and rest, i wouldnt worry about it.

My 15 ds is exactly the same. Always has been. Very socially active within school, but once he’s not, much prefers being at home and with us. He’s happy so I’ve learnt not to worry.

Yeah my teen is the same. Lots of screen time but he does balance it out with sport and other things. It’s hard as I have younger dc and always feel guilty for taking them out without him. I do insist on a few things but mostly accept that it’s his holidays too and he can spend them how he likes within reason. It’s normal I think.

I think it's the way things are now op. My ds is 13 and no one hardly ever goes out in his friend group. He's desperate to be out and about more. There's one boy who he goes out to meet regularly and they've been meeting up with two girls, totally platonically as they've all been friends since primary 1. It's actually sad.

I’ve got a 20 year old that only goes out to uni. She’s happy at home and coming out with us.

hi, my DS 13yo is also spending lots of time at home - we've not gone away this year for various reasons, he's been out a few times with friends, but literally about 4 or 5 times, (we are in scotland so broke up at the end of June). I am not worried as he's chatting to pals online, and has been out for sunshine occasionally! he just doesn't really want to do stuff with his mum these days. I've made him come on a couple of local day trips tho!

My son was like that. He would occasionally go out if invited but didn't seem bothered. He also had lots of friends at school. I was like you, always wanting to be out as a teenager. However, being at home wasn't the same then as we lacked the addictive technology and online communication they have now so it was much more boring.
Anyway, my son has just left year 13 and has suddenly decided he very much likes socialising after all!

My 14 year old DS is the same, he's spent most days so far either asleep or watching TV! Hes been out once with friends because I practically begged him too and I've managed to get him to come out with me a couple of times but other than that , nothing! I feel sad for him but he says he's fine and likes being alone.

Screens have totally changed children and teens lives. Thy find it much harder to get out and find others who are free and up for fun or hanging out.

I've always really pushed mine to make some plans and see friends ..even my autistic anxious kid ! I just get involved irninsist that every few days they need to make plans or I'll help them. Ny 14 yr old otherwise would just sit about gaming and personally I have to push back against it.

I tell him.he can pick up a ball and text a mate etc..cue a lot of moaning but generally he does know he needs to arrange stuff sometimes out of the house like bike rides or hang outs at the football cage