Lonely teen at summer - when does this end?!

[foxbasesecular43]

Not asking for advice really, just solidarity. My 14 (nearly 15 year old) DS, coming to the end of Year nine. Her time at school is punctuated by periods where her 'friends' don't talk to her, freezer her out, make life quite unpleasant for her. This impacts so many elements of her life, but mainly at the moment she is going into the summer holidays as a potentially quite lonely kid. I think she's trusted the wrong person, potentially spoken badly about someone else and this 'trusted' person has let on what my DS said, and now it's come back to bite her on the bum. She will learn from it, it will only make her more resliaint but blimey, it's a hard watch.
The main thing she wanted going into these holidays were one or two kids who she could go to the shops with every now and again, or go to a charity shop for a mooch. That doesn't look likely now.
I keep telling her that things settle down in Year 10 - is that right?! Or am I dreaming and it continues this way in to later teens? She's lovely, funny, bright, kind, a bit of a people pleaser but just so sweet - why is it so hard for her to make and keep friends?! Arggghhhhhh

I appreciate that you're seeing it from your dd's perspective, but she's also had a part to play if she's been caught out being unkind about others behind their backs - she may need to put some real effort into repairing the relationships that these actions have damaged. Could she try and organise some 1 to.one time with the friend(s) she's upset to try and show that she is sorry? Rather than blaming the.other.person that exposed her. That won't be doing her any favours.

@Ohgoonthenanotheronefortheroad small world! We’re in Scotland too.

Aw small world indeed! 🤣

Also in Scotland with an (almost) 14 year old!

My 15yo has always struggled with friendships but has found year 10 particularly difficult. Reading all the comments, I feel like your daughters sound like the kind of people she could be friends with, as she doesn’t have much time for drama queens and isn’t into tiktok etc. Last summer was a long old slog, so this year I booked her onto a residential summer camp for a week to help break it up a bit (currently there). Within the first 24 hours, her roomies had basically become best friends with another girl and inveigled getting my daughter moved out of the room so they can all be together 🤷‍♀️ . I just wish I understood what the “magic trick” is to making friends that quickly. She says she’s enjoying the activities but so far just small talk with her new roomies. Ah well, seems there a few of us in this boat!

My DD is going into Y11 next year. Things definitely settled down in Y10, friendship groups were much more hectic in Y9.
Most of DDs friends live far from us so she doesn’t meet up with them often over the summer. Maybe if your DD has a Dsib then they can do things together over the summer? DD1 often let DD2 hang out with her and her friends and the friends were always kind to DD2 ( maybe if she has no sibs, cousins close in age would work?).
You could also do fun things with DD over the summer like go to the cinema if you have time (it’s obviously not the same as doing it with friends but at least she’ll still have fun).
She could also try doing a summer camp and make friends there? ( I know this can be difficult)
Have hope, Y10 will get better.

Mine was the same. 10 years on and she has no
friends from school at all. I don’t know what it is really. She had friends but was always the one that got cancelled on etc.