What age did you find hardest with teenage daughters?

[Tricklinn]

I’ve been wondering about this and would love some honest perspectives…

For those of you with daughters, what age did you find the hardest during the teenage years? And on the flip side, was there an age that felt like a bit of a “sweet spot”?

I’m hearing everything from early teens being the trickiest to later teens being more challenging in different ways, and I’m curious what people’s real experiences have been.

Is there a stage where things tend to improve again, or is it just a case of different challenges at different ages?

Would really appreciate any insights (or reassurance!) from those who’ve been through it.

My DD did the raging then apologising and it was very frustrating but when i stood back and thought about it i realised she was being cross and shouty because of hormones, and i actually really appreciated her then coming to apologise when she had calmed down. I felt she couldnt control the flash of temper, but at least had the manners to admit she was wrong. So i just considered i had parented well. DD is now 19 and away at uni and is a strong, independent young woman who will come to me with any problem and has friends who value her. She makes me proud all the time.

My DD is almost 22 and I can honestly say she has been no trouble at all, and we get on really well.
DS (24) was harder but even then only one off events and nothing serious.
They aren't all horrible 😁

I was impeccably behaved as a teenager, complete goody 2 shoes, but have 12 & 15 yo DDs and they are both very very tricky at times. So no, in my experience at least, it is not correlated at all.

DD influenced online between the ages of 13-18.

I stayed firm on my beliefs and she's out the other side.
It ruined her school opportunities and it could have ended badly.

She's fine now at 22. And I think she said she hated me a few times!

Other way round here, I was awful to my mum (she is to this day hard work and infuriating and we are in our late 50s and 80s now, it was fine once I left home but has come back now she needs daily contact in old age). Totally different with my DCs they have been no bother at all. But when they were born uppermost in my mind was that I didn't want to parent like my mum

My twin girls tag teamed us hormone wise. DD1 was a hormonal mess from 12-14. She would get very upset very easily or shout and then get upset because she was embarrassed.

DD2 was diagnosed with narcolepsy at 15 and from 13-16 was a bit of a nightmare. That was more due to the narcolepsy though, she just wanted to be the same as everyone else so would put herself at risk and although I did understand it it was incredibly hard. 15-16 was hellish. She broke every rule. Ended up in a&e numerous times with cataplexy injuries because she just pretended it didn’t exist. And the attitude was horrific. She genuinely felt like any attempt to stop her doing anything risky was about control or hating her. Thankfully she encountered a lovely lady with narcolepsy when she was 15 and their chat absolutely changed her.

They’re 25 now and both lovely. DD2 volunteers with young people who get life changing diagnosis now in the hope she can help them make better choices than she did.

Every girl is different but 13-17 was the intense bit for my DDs . Once they get to early 20s they are are lovely again:)

15/16 was the worst. It seemed to be non stop attitude as opposed to earlier ages (only sometimes) and later ages (mostly turned into a mature grown up).

I am only at the start of this with a 13 DD so mainly here out of curiosity. But my answer for the last year would be very different to my DP. My DD can be very emotional, rude and certainly needs her own space a lot more. But she is also loving, caring and kind even to me and her brother. This week I had an awful day at work one particular day and she made me a hot chocolate with all the trimmings. So empathetic. But her dad would say she’s a bloody nightmare and that she’s rude, entitled and lazy… we come from different cultures and obviously have a very different relationship with DD. But we are night and day in that I really don’t think she’s too bad 90% of the time…. Will see how that changes over the next 7 years!

Dd was pretty easy, but 13/14 was the worst but definitely better than the under 5 stage. She’s perfect now at 30.

Fourteen to eighteen! Hellish!

Exsctly the same scenario as LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway

Yes Dd and I are extremely similar absolute hell raisers in years 9&10, a bit calmer by yr 11 and properly sensible and mature by yr 13.

@WhatNextImScared I was no trouble as a teenager, did what I was told, did well at school. My dd was so awful, I had to take 6 weeks off work with stress. She had a hard time at school, her friends turned on her and I think this triggered abandonment issues which stemmed from her useless father.
She refused to go to school, got a very undesirable boyfriend, got in trouble with the police, started smoking cannabis.
SS were involved as she got expelled from school and we were referred for MST therapy which was so so difficult .
She's now an adult with a child of her own and we get on fabulously.

Mine weren’t difficult because of their own personalities but different stages that were difficult for them.
Year 8 can be hard when they are more established in secondary school and friendships are shifting.
Year 10 is when there was a focus on weight and body image with comments from other girls triggering some issues.

13-19 - just awful. The attitude was something else! Now in 20s & recognise how awful they were .

15-18

Mine was a little bit tricky at 13, she had some mental health problems with OCD….ages 14-15 she was a nightmare not caring about school, skipping classes, drinking with friends.

from 16 she settled down and actually started studying. She went to a dance college and it was the making of her, she was dedicated to it and never missed a class and worked hard.

She is 20 next week and thriving. She works hard and is a lovely person to be around again.

DD is 17 and has been a lovely teenager. I allowed her a certain amount of freedom over the years so she has never pushed the boundaries. We hav some lovely chats an she seems quite switched on and is able to jot get drawn into drama. She has some lovely friends which i think for teenagers is half the battle.

14 -16 or 17 really

I have a 22 year old DD and did not have any hard times with her. Yes she got a bit stroppy around 12 /13 but I think I escaped lightly. Not sure if it is because her Dad and I split when she was 12 and whilst we had always been close we became even closer after. I also have a 21 year old DS and he has been the same.

16 is a nightmare. 15 there were hints but 16 unleashed the demons.

She never leaves her room except to go out with the boyfriend or to eat. She has a perma-attitude, looks at us as if she hates us, responds in grunts and mumbles and gets pissed off when we don’t react appropriately to the noises. If you ask her what’s wrong it’s always “nothing”. There are glimpses of my sweet lovely never so much as had a tantrum daughter but they are few and far between.

She hit puberty early and I naively assumed she might have her teenage arsehol phase early too but she held out on us and is giving us both barrels now. I can’t wait for it to be over.

13/14 was fairly deadly, and coincided with lockdown, which had pros and cons. She’s 20 now, and an absolute joy. By 16, she was lovely, tbh.

Well this year has been the most difficult really but not because of her behaviour. She’s nearly 16 and GCSEs have been very stressful. There’s also been some friend issues that we’ve never had before. None of it is her fault, she’s an absolute star but it’s been anxiety inducing!

14 - 19, she’s at Uni now and seems to have had a personality transplant 🤣.

Mine were both fine. It's the early years I found really hard